I am suing Tylenol for not including George Santos and puppies stolen from the Amish in their marketing, that is just wrong that they did that. Burp.

Tylenol, it makes the pain of Texas a little less.

Hello, I am underwater on every issue with my popularity dropping 1% every four weeks; I also have terminal health issues. Please vote for me when I run for an illegal third term.

Forget about your losses from yesterday, and focus on today’s losses instead. We’re always here to help.

Real life escort quest

We did a joint promotion in Departures today with Ann Summers and McDonalds. Big mistake.

ICE just hired three of our feral cats.

Donald Trump had an MRI youtu.be/s1ALO3ENjvQ?...

It’s funny how often people lose a lot of money and then drive off without picking up their kids from daycare.

Don't believe the reviews. We gave Guy Fieri food poisoning on purpose.

I never thought living in a rapidly deteriorating societal death spiral would be this fucking stupid. Eat whatever

New special in our restaurant: Free desserts for a month to anyone who agrees to wrestle our pastry chef Bony Dan.

Trump announces why he levied tariffs on Canada and his next appearances in Canada youtu.be/RpskTc-LdUY

So my alma mater (thanks, internet, I thought it was my Italian great aunt, who lives in the south), UW-Madison, which means where I went to college, is playing Oregon this evening. The Badgers averaged 3 yards rushing per carry last week, and 3 yards per pass, and the Badgers completed 7 passes.

Kinda seems like OpenAI is just throwing out every hideous idea they can think of in a quest to find the one that will bring in a trillion dollars, the inevitable end point of which is them giving up and saying "OK, porn it is. We're doing AI porn."

I'm excited to hear about the NBA expansion. I think the new Bonanno, Gambino, and Genovese franchises will be great additions to the league. Burp.

Sarah Huckabee can use the very reasonable defense that she can't count to 150. www.rawstory.com/sarah-huckab...

Be here Halloween to see the wacky fun we have planned for the employee graveyard.

So basically, the East Wing remodel is about as legal as the 9/11 high speed jet remodel of the Pentagon, or am I missing something in how goober law makes an exception for the former, but not the latter?

Losing a race is a real test of character. How do you act when the end approaches? Do you maintain some integrity, or become the worst version of yourself? Do you poison the place you say you want to lead? Andrew Cuomo was always an asshole. But now we see the depths of his moral corruption.

Still my favorite music clip in the last ten years, kid approved. youtu.be/Wu0fKPHF8Ns

Take a break, do something else...... I don't listen to this kind of thing normally, but my music nerd son got me into this guy, and whatever genre you are into, you gotta respect the talent. Love how he looks like he is giving birth, while playing notes. Respect the talent. youtu.be/Fn696Li1n1U

This is old, it's like the electric slide of writing at this point, but I still look forward to it every year, it just holds up. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its...

After the 2024 election all the Very Serious People told us Trump had fundamentally reoriented American politics and his durable majority will persist unless Democrats change everything about themselves, but whaddya know, it turned out the message of the election was that everybody hates inflation.

"OFFENSIVE".... #holocaust musical starring #pansexual Anne Frank causing stir in #nyc... https://www.thetimes.com/us/news-today/article/slam-frank-holocaust-musical-broadway-jtfpvtndk

Donald Trump brags about destroying the White House youtu.be/Km_p4ent4Ik

Trump is making life worse for everyone in almost every way he can conceive. He genuinely thinks this is good for him, since when people are bitter and angry, they'll turn to the president of bitterness and anger. paulwaldman.substack.com/p/drag-us-to...

We would like to make it clear to the public that River Side Casino was not involved in these NBA gambling accusations, though some of the technology they used is pretty cool you have to admit.

It's great that farmers and ranchers are speaking out, but this guy complaining that Trump's intervention is "socialist"...are you kidding me? There's no group that benefits more from government help than farmers. They're America's biggest socialists, by a country mile.

Do not be alarmed, tearing down The White House to build a hideous ballroom is no different than Sarah Huckabee successfully tearing down the family outhouse, and replacing it with an another outhouse, with rifle slits and angled embrasures. Burp.

I've had a bag of bolts on my desk all day, and I can't for the life of me remember what they're for.

River Side Trivia: There is a mold in our sub-basement that has only ever been found here and at Chernobyl.

Also: The way this is presented on TV news is "Here's a sweet video the Pentagon released of a drug boat being blown up. They didn't give any evidence, but look, boat go boom. We're going to show the video again. Critics say...eh, whatever, look at the video again. Here it is one more time."

Had the ladies in from the Bishop's Stortford Rotary Club today! They were ever so interested in our testing facility and they all came out with huge smiles on their faces.

Here's a nice shot of Kristi Noem's face without any makeup.

I see Prestwick Airport have splashed out on a new push back tractor.

So, is it okay if I officially name the Trump in a jet shitting on protesters video "Fly Into The Diaper Zone"?

Reminder to take a break, listen to something that makes you feel better, helps you relax, like the soothing, dulcet sounds of the Dirty Nil. Thanks again, Canada, for being better than us down here. youtu.be/ZBHeiM6ZJ9w

Detour, folks, my son got me into this channel on YouTube last year. Cohen is an NJ guy, went to University of Miami, and his performances are just terrific. Great place to take a break. I don't even much like jazz, but I still pay attention to this, because respect the talent. youtu.be/rG7WCd-DwfM

Jesus Christ, he is really gonna try and talk about this? I assume this will quickly degenerate into something awful involving the K$H app?

Just remembering that the DoJ assigned A THOUSAND FBI agents and other personnel to comb through the Epstein files to flag mentions of Trump and have refused to reveal what they found

Smashing. Video just in from Barbara, enjoying a week in New York with her friend. Lovely to see.

If you're the person who got hit in the face with a golf ball, we promise to stop showing the video in a day or two.

Don't worry about AWS us-east-1 being down, George Santos is still functioning.

The networks took the much smaller Tea Party movement so seriously they broadcast a Tea Party rebuttal to Obama’s 2011 SOTU on top of the normal GOP one.

Please check your credit card receipts for fancy tuna and high grade catnip. Our financial database has been hacked by the feral cats.

Does that mean it's more *important*? To be determined. The Tea Party mattered mostly because of how it took over the GOP like a toxic virus, driving it to far-right extremism and laying the foundation for Trumpism. We don't yet know what effect No Kings will have on the Democratic Party. [3/3]

The Tea Party's biggest distributed event was on tax day 2009, with 750 modestly attended protests. No Kings had 2,600. Its biggest single gathering was on 9/12/09 in DC, with somewhere between 75K and a few 100K participants. No Kings had 5-7 million. So: No Kings dwarfs the Tea Party. [2/3]

Reminder: We spent YEARS reading thousands and thousands of articles on the Tea Party and how it was a true expression of the American people's will, and it never mounted anything nearly as big as Saturday's No Kings rallies. [1/3]

Bill Nye, WELL DONE. NO THRONES, NO CROWNS NO KINGS