Australian: Well, it's actually pronounced Pam Bondi

Hey siri remove the bond still I have with someone to whom I now no longer speak

How do I let all my friends know that I’d make out with them if they asked?

"I love Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays!" — Garfield after beginning a gratitude practice

One can only imagine how nuts of a week Mulder would be having rn

It feel like the world’s ending; who could blame a girl for texting an ex, starting to smoke again, or pulling out all their teeth

Blueskyese and Xian share an obvious common root as both being Twitteric languages, the difference is that after the split Xian became a hybrid Twitteric/Channer-linkedin tongue, while Blueskyese changed less overall but did pick up some tumbleric and redditor loanwords

Hey siri: how do you get over a breakup you still don’t understand?

Hey, if you wanna support a Minnesota artist that’s making stuff about mental health, good news! You can! Check out my Patreon www.patreon.com/tristanjmiller

How do I let Apple know if simply rather go back to the previous IOS?

Should I start smoking again???

In a twist, Epstein proves that maybe meetings shouldn’t just be emails

Back on this app because all threads is showing me is emails that I don’t want to see

RFK sounds like Katherine Hepburn on a bumpy road

gen z finna string me up for this

Still the best she's ever looked

This is all Vampire Weekend’s fault

From a story ab one of Meta’s AI chatbots setting up a meeting with a cognitively impaired elderly man.… guidelines for “romantic roleplay” with kids. Don’t let your kids talk to these things unsupervised — depraved engagement games. Character.ai is also embroiled in a suicide lawsuit.

Ultimately, this is what I think is funny.

"I don't know anyone who is getting covid anymore."

Yall even know how hard it is to be a bottom with IBS ????

Do you like summer or do you have fond memories of not being in school??

two reich's don't make a wrong

I'll be darned but nothing feels good anymore

It's fun that Paul Newman was in a movie called Hud and also Hudsucker Proxy

Thinking about this yet again: www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bfy...

I'll be brave, I'll say it, MORE LIKE BARTON STINK!!!

I'll be damned if I don't miss New Zealand with all my heart

It’s crazy how Christians were right about Harry Potter being evil just not in the right way

When public media disappears, so do the stories that bring us together. With federal funding eliminated, millions may lose their last trusted source of news and connection. If that matters to you, now’s the time to act. Donate: n.pr/458sOhq

Do you have what it takes to 🔥POWER UP JACOB?🔥 🎮minigames.dropout.tv/game/power-...

I wish all my comedian friends in ed fringe a great run and I’m so annoyed to not be there

krispy kreme near neutral zone

who takes that long to eat one hot dog

Tonight!!! 7PM EST / 4PM PST Episode 2 of AMY'S DEAD-END DREAMHOUSE "Ugly Panic" goes live on @nebula.tv!!! In this episode, Amy realizes the quickest way to make her life considerably better is to become "hot." She did her own research, you can't argue with science.

Years ago when I was performing at the Improv in Hollywood, one of the audience members called 911 to report that the crowd was unresponsive.

We made a kids show for adults... Join Amy and her apartment full of appliances as they encounter adult problems, from job hunting, to impossible beauty standards. Watch the first episode on YouTube NOW

Loves

My biggest piece of advice for young artists is this: the sooner you make peace with the fact you’re not going to get to fuck everyone you want to the easier your life will be

Thinking about this again

Parasocial, perverted...perfect #GameChanger

New shirt

goofy in the hotel hyuck chair

50 Shades Of Gru

‪LIFE HACK: enjoy suffering ‬

Not me crying at the first chapter of Dave Barry’s memoir ???