Awesome view from Artemis II this morning.

I too would take $49 million that I am in no way shape or form providing commensurate value for

The big 3

Lowkey love the Portland Fire draft, and if Nika Muhl is looking for a house husband I am single and available

Why do we live in such a childish, stupid country? A country that wastes its money on useless billion dollar aircraft carriers, when it could be spending those tax dollars to actually help its citizens like sane countries.

there are two absolutely canonical Good Friday posts

This is a pathological thing to say to your employees

unless your book about converting to Catholicism is better than St. Augustine's, and I'm pretty sure yours isn't, nobody needs to know about your experience converting to Catholicism and we definitely don't need to read about it

They don’t want the smoke

I am Whitaker -baby faced white dude -grew up in a rural area -smart and capable but also filled with self doubt and constantly anxious about everything -not good at figuring out basic adulting shit like where to live or if someone is flirting with me

My ancestors 300 years ago: I will travel thousands of miles and endure unimaginable hardship for a better life Me: ugh I have to go to the grocery store on a THURSDAY? Kill me now

I watched the trailer for the Backrooms and that shit is just straight up House of Leaves? I don’t know enough about Backrooms lore to know if there’s any kind of overlap but if you hadn’t given me the title and asked me to guess what it was an adaptation of, I’d guess House of Leaves

What

Yo I’m on the moon and there’s a fucking rocket headed this way? What did you guys do

Saw something truly amazing the other day. It says “B-Rad’s Rentals” in all caps across the top of the windshield

“No babe, I can’t eat you out because of…uh….all the germs”

Tom DingDong

This is like, a Russian nesting doll of fuckups

Just so you understand, this is as if you prepared for argument in front of a panel that included Cookie Monster, and Cookie Monster asked you a question about cookies, and you had not thought about cookies in advance.

Yes

SCOOOOOOOT

There’s a lesson to be learned here for aspiring creatives. People like this are putting their work out into the world and they’re not worrying about all the things you’re worrying about. You might as well try and put some actual, thoughtful art out there, even if you fail.

I guess boycotting Harry Potter feels pretty trivial to me, because I'm an adult. if someone told me I shouldn't eat Gerber's baby food, I'd be like, that is no problem. I'm way ahead of you

“I saw Trump undergo the box test from the Bene Gesserit, and not only did he withstand the pain, but the box exploded. And the Bene Gesserit woman accidentally stabbed him with the gom jabbar anyway, but it turned into a worm and then Trump air the worm and she died of shame. And then I found $20”

The No Kings protests in this rural town in Oregon have usually been like, a third of a city block. The one that was going on today easily made it to the end of that city block and in truth I don’t know how long it was

Let's go INSERT BASEBALL TEAM NAME HERE

How the hell did this make it to print

How the fuck did the Blazers lose to the fucking Mavericks

Not shaping up to be one of Cronin’s best trades

Quote could easily have been said by a 7 year old

SCHLAPP: Who wants to see impeachment hearings? CPAC CROWD: *cheers* SCHLAPP: No. That was the wrong answer.

So the NYT is so committed to shitting on trans people that when the AMA tried to correct their reporting, they responded by saying they know more about the AMA's position than the AMA itself. That's zealotry.

Absolutely none of these solutions make any sense, and none of them will actually combat tanking. Either they don’t know what they’re doing or preventing tanking isn’t actually the goal. Tanking teams have already accepted the uncertainty of the lottery and they’re tanking anyway. This fixes nothing

If this is true (and I don’t think it is), there is zero reason to not just buy a PC instead

Might be the greatest opening paragraph of anything ever.

As opposed to when it came out *checks notes* less than 5 months ago

A tipster sent me the "Committed" AI graphic generator for Cal's Spring Game, which allows you to commit anyone to Cal

If you're going to throw assloads of money into making a TV series based on the work of a British fantasy author, whyyyyyyyyyy not do Discworld

Kyle Kuzma is here and he’s wearing just about the most unsettling outfit possible

Just to be very clear: The Trump DOJ is stealing $1.2 million of your money to gift one of Trump’s cronies, who pled guilty to the crimes he was charged with, and whose suit against the government had already been tossed by a judge.

Scoot absolutely stepped out of bounds there and got away with it lol

Bro this is not a flagrant foul, what are we doing

Doc Rivers being a real bitch tonight

I…really hope this is a genuine improvement in his condition and not him rushing back to try to play enough games to get All-NBA honors

I straight up do not think the world is ready for that but I’m here for it anyway

Uhhh is Giannis playing tonight?