Boy: *unzips pants* Me: mmmm did you bring protection Boy: I sure did *snaps fingers* Jimmy Two-Shoes: eyy boss is this wiseguy giving you grief? Does he need to be fitted with some concrete shoes?

Me, after getting head on my cavdaver fat neovagina: Oh, hey, bb, how was it? GF: Pussy's haunted. Me: What? GF: *loading a pistol and getting back between my legs* Pussy's haunted.

1) I'm disappointed no one thought to tag their goth gf about this. 2) Nope still not interested in the cursed bottom surgery.

I forgot how nice it is to just float in a pool for a while. I feel so relaxed and just want to nap now. 😴

Suns out, big naturals out. 😎

Philly finally banned horse carriages. www.cbsnews.com/philadelphia...

I've got a bunch of new followers suddenly, so I thought I'd roll this out again as a bit of an introduction... Hi, I'm the artist that painted this, "The Favorite". Perhaps you've seen it around? 😊

I am not being dramatic when I say this piece of art has the same level of impact artworks in the Louvre has

So most of you probably don't know the story, but years ago my ex got a blanket as a gift of our late cat Drogo that they adored. He was the sweetest boy and the world is lesser with him gone. Anyway they just sent me this photo of their new kitten.

Gotta chill those beans!

Now show me the six panels of "no you need to shift a little bit that way"

How I'm entering the group chat.

Can’t believe you only have to kill 700,000 Africans to make a trillion dollars

I have so many thoughts on Erin that some of you have definitely heard, but she absolutely is a net negative on our community. She prioritizes donations while spreading misinformation and sensationalizing stories. There's a reason I never directly share her or Alejandra.

How I'm entering the group chat.

How I'm entering the group chat.

How I'm entering the group chat

I'm the Elon Musk of sex okay. Which is an achievement since Elon Musk is notoriously bad at sex. I only win by volume.

How I'm entering the group chat.

Billionaires and trillionaires shouldn’t exist but they do because of racism, sexism, and classism built into capitalism.

The one that's a pile of every billionaire.

The funny thing about billionaires is they still have just as much blood as the rest of us in them.

Listening to the radio and bragging about a song being in a Shrek movie is like bragging about having sex with me. Everyone's been in it and no one left with a smile.

Thinking about how much $3000 a person would make so many differences.

Tired of seeing people go "Uh you mean liberals" when someone is talking about white leftists being racist. No. We meant white leftists. We know the difference, don't try and insult our intelligence. Leftists are capable of being racist. Pretending otherwise absolves them of accountability.

When I feel lonely I usually just go get a beer, but I guess this is an option.

Congrats you're a trillionaire, time to prestige by losing it all and restarting as a baby with a piano falling on you.

This is a defense of playing the wizard game btw.

it never ends

Too many policy failures led us to this.

They're not allowed to get upset if I ask if they're polyamorous.

Just got a buffet for our dining room delivered and somehow my card still hasn't gotten charged for it. I saw it pending when I ordered it a week ago and then... nothing.

Picked up TerraTech Legion this morning for $8 and this game seems pretty damn fun so far. Think Vampire Survivors but you're driving a vehicle and you place your upgrades on the body to build it up.

The fact he was ever allowed to get this far is a massive failure of everyone in power. Billionaires shouldn't even exist let alone someone with 1000x that. I don't even care if it's theoretical wealth, he is still able to wield untold power with it. The eradication of billionaires must be policy.

"At the end of the day I'll be fine so it's nice to have some fun with my fascist friends from across the aisle." It must be nice to not worry about a government trying to eradicate you.

bc i have a lot of cis followers — the recent rollback of trans civil rights _is_ something unprecedented in modern american politics. things _are_ bad. it is not that she is saying that things are bad, it is that she FREQUENTLY has disregard for _how_ things are bad. for the BASIC facts of how bad.

"hey did you draw that decade-old leftist strawman for the comic yet?" "sure thing boss, made it real sexy just like you asked. shirt hiked up a little bit just above the hip so you know that the tattoos extend all the way to whatever nonbinary genital situation is happening down there"

Katie Miller had another baby with Stephen Miller. It’s definitely his baby—and not Elon Musk’s—because of the forehead. Also "Hawthorne Hayes" is HH 🙄 And "Hawthorne Hayes" has 14 letters 🙄

a mech should be a lumbering mostly landbound vehicle with weaponry that has all the grace and subtlety of a WW1 heavy german railway gun

Love having to hurdle the toilet to take a shower.

AI in real estate is a damn plague. Just looked at a house where they added an entire AI generated garage that isn't on the property!

The third law of terfodynamics: Nobody thinks about trans people's genitals more than transphobes - not even trans people.

I am not kidding that some of these weirdos think about trans people more than we do and we wake up as one every single day.

Cis allies - you're to London on June 25th, right? You're going to put your money where your mouth is and talk to your MP in person, not just post on social media...right?

It's very fun that my hips are now constantly in pain, I love this for me. I'm just going to pretend I'm actually getting one of the 30 benefits out of HRT that every other girl brags about instead of feeling old.

At least half the fucking liberals on this site say 2024 was stolen and I damn well don't believe that's what you're talking about.

I'm fighting a lot of conflicting principles y'all.