When Christmas is over so you can buy yourself what you asked for and didn’t get >

Big fitness goals for 2026 and half of them are superficial sorry!

One of my (newer) girls at work said “would you be mad if I shaved my head” I said “you don’t know who you’re talking to” 😂

Checking this app is like popping my head in a room where some good buddies are hanging out

Rob Reiner was a good guy. He made a lot of movies about good guys, in worlds where not everyone was good and you didn’t have to be good. He made movies about people trying. He was angry, as many hopeful people are. He knew the world could be better and he wanted it to be. His death is devastating.

I happen to think that Rob Reiner had a much bigger cultural impact than Charlie Kirk did.

Me: I love this part - “there’s a magic in that music / and it moves through me / you feel the love of beautiful things / to go and see the great mountains and hear the pine trees and waterfalls / to wear a sword instead of a walking stick” Shane: look at Thorin’s cup

today is the first time since 1988 that the united states is not observing world AIDS day in fact, per STAT, the state department has forbidden federal employees AND GRANTEES to not utilize any funding to promote or commemorate this day

I need a thanksgiving detox

when a comediän jaçks-œff in front of women nònconsensűally

The act of pouring bubble bath in a bathtub

Every time I think “oh my dad wants to talk baseball, okay cool” it ends in a mansplain

I still cannot believe this shit. I cannot focus. I see them celebrating and it doesn't feel real.

How did they win? HOW LMAO

wish u were here 💙

Game-tying home runs to tie a game in the 9th inning of World Series Game 7: Miguel Rojas tonight End of list!

I’m still trying to comprehend how they even won that series

If you see me like this, don't help me, I'm right where I want to be.

My longtime ups guy has gotten increasingly more flirty and I hate it 😖

I told this gal she smelled good and she said I love your socks, your smile, and your nose

An acquaintance that had only seen me at the free concerts downtown has now seen me a greens show and I think she’s in love idk

What is that charm jason bateman has

Nothing gets me on the floor faster than “fat bottomed girls”

I am trying not to be an asshole but this lady keeps clapping in my ear

Gonna see Ohtani pitch guys 🥲

Anywho there’s a free hoobastank concert tonight and I’m gonna sing that one song SO LOUD

“Jess how was your summer”

This is going in the file in my brain next to the thing about how baby porcupines are called porcupettes

My xbox is set to update games automatically. GUESS WHAT STILL NEEDED AN UPDATE

They had a plan, huh?

Omg this guy next to me is mandelbaum. “My youngest son is 66”

Do I feel bad for the babies that are upset and their parents? Absolutely. Do I feel bad for me? Absolutely.

There is a child named anakin here……

Not to brag but I’m wearing denim to the airport

He just saw a group of kids of color having fun and assumed they were criminals. I just want to name how very not normal this is.

Me drunk at 1 am trying to order jalapeño poppers

Tan lines really show you how close you were to a tragedy

Oh guys I saw her again and we were both wearing different things. The saga has ended.

I SAW HER AGAIN IN THE SAME FIT. Has she been walking this whole time? We may never know

Poison ivy is the worst but burning the rash in the shower is a top ten experience

Saw a unicorn on the trail - pretty girl wearing a cute set and a bunch of jewelry AND NOT SWEATING. No hate tho she smiled at me like we’re besties

do i look bad or is he bad at taking pictures of me: a memoir

Had a split second during my run where it felt like my heart stopped so that’s fun

This didn’t just attack me, it enraged me

You ever see plants irl that remind you of ones from a video game and you’re like ooh I need that

New tv also turns xbox on when you turn it on? I don’t get it but I’m like ok don’t mind if I do

Sure I have a bruise on my thigh but look at my muscles

Punt franco into the stratosphere