the only good accent work on earth is old money transatlantic american to make fun of rich people accent

FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER

Goofy Hyucking Mickey From Behind While Donald Quacks Off In The Corner (User Generated Series, 2026)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I read this in Larry King's voice

Every once in a while someone comes on here and admits to something that they probably should've kept a secret. Like you're just gonna say this without anyone coercing it out of you? Damn.

It feels kind of oddly validating when I see Gen-Zers on TikTok getting into music I liked when I was their age or younger. It probably shouldn't, but it does.

from: [email protected] to: [email protected] Your Amazon order is expected to deliver today. This email was sent from an address that cannot accept incoming email. Please do not reply to this message. from: [email protected] to: [email protected] wwhere’s my ordur.. im a pedophile btw

All basketball teams need one awkward looking blonde dude with a headband to fill up garbage time

Once at a concert a guy decided to try to crowd surf during the opener even though the crowd was pretty sparse at that point. He jumped directly at my friends and I and we were caught off guard and were not prepared to catch him. He hit the floor HARD and was like "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CATCH ME!"

Current and Then President Trump spent Thanksgiving 2017 with child rapist and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein?!

Steamboatse Willy

Best reason to go off the record.

Still don't care

Eat shit, McCourt

One week later and my mouth *finally* feels basically back to normal. Aside from the missing tooth, of course.

Salute to Benny 💪 Sidenote: it is pretty neat that this happened now. Because Gavin Lux & Molly’s wedding is coming up, and Rortvedt will be an usher! (Ben would’ve been a groomsman but…wedding parties and even numbers 😂 IYKYK). Special Wisconsin reunion in Cincinnati.

A while ago I joked about Hunter Pence becoming their hitting coach and I was so close!

I’m once again seeing people say that the Dodgers should trade Josue De Paula and others for Steven Kwan and my response to that is still a big resounding “no”

He didn't say that he'd be a Pirate for all of 2026 though 🤔

A South Pasadena emergency test? There is no emergency?

Now have him rank the Fast and the Furious movies

Imagine killing 600,000 black and brown people with a few keystrokes and not having a care in the world but one little old white lady drags you on Twitter and you spiral for a week.

Anytime I mention this story theres a few dozen people who never heard about it, so for those unaware

this is literally never not accurate

Remember 25 years ago when a photo was taken of a fed pointing a gun at a crying refugee child and the image was so shameful it dominated the news cycle for a year

“Does it affect the game?” he asks while more and more players have talked about an increasing amount of death threats

I don’t know, who? Please tell me.

Tuff from Sue Jo. www.instagram.com/p/DQ290kqkWiW/

Starts with “Ohtani’s contract is cheating” and ends with basically saying “Well I just don’t like it because he didn’t sign with my team”. Typical.

Fast

I completely forgot that Clase also has a PED suspension under his belt lol

Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

I'd love to be able to see Clase's face when he swung at that. In his mind he must've been like "Oh shit. Oh fuck. He actually swung? Fuck."

BREAKING The 1st Circuit REJECTS Trump DOJ's request to pause a judge's order to pay up Nov's SNAP funds to the states. The SCOTUS stay will expire within 48 hours absent further action from the justices, per its terms. Doc ecf.ca1.uscourts.gov/n/beam/servl...

Senators on the brink of retirement who lived full, wealthy lives and never feared the loss of their own healthcare voting for their constituents to die from their inability to afford the same is treasonous

Same as it ever was

No health care, no deal.

democrats winning would cut into their fundraising

Democrats, coming off a historic national protest against fascism and a country-wide electoral sweep:

Call them: Schumer (NY) 202 224-6542 Booker (NJ) 202 224-3224 King (ME) 202 224-5344 Hassan (NH) 202 224-3324 Durbin (IL) 202 224-2152 Ossoff (GA) 202 224-3521 Shaheen (NH) 202 224-2841 Gillibrand (NY) 202 224-4451 Masto (NV) 202 224-3542 Warner (VA) 202 224-2023 Fetterman (PA) No Point

no amount of state propaganda will ever convince me this man is my enemy

I’m just here thinking about Hyun-Jin Ryu’s 2019 season. And just Ryu in general.

I support Plur1bus’s mission of giving an X-Files writer what appears to be a billion dollars.

And I simply do not care