MIRANDA: the firm doesn’t want to make me partner because I’m a woman CHARLOTTE: tell me about it — no man wants to make me their partner either! SAMANTHA: have either of you tried giving better blowjobs? CARRIE: big is moving to paris GUILLERMO DEL TORO: I am going to make Frankenstein sexy

is it better for countries to invest in boring things like transport and energy infrastructure or should they invest all their money in useless chatbots that talk in reddit-voice on the vague and completely unsubstantiated hope that they'll be able to do something profitable one day

disgusting. get it together nancy

this morning, ICE went into a Spanish language immersion daycare and took a teacher from the building in front of screaming and crying kids and parents at dropoff and the daycare had to shut down for the day (near Lane Tech, where they were yesterday). Really hoping today's "theme" is not "daycare."

it must feel amazing to vote for someone instead of against someone else…hope to have that feeling myself, someday…

Zohran at the rally for trans youth on february 8 ❣️ he was polling single digits.

*listening via earpiece, nodding solemnly* implementing Woke 2 protocol, sir

watching HOUSE OF DYNAMITE on Netflix…more like house of SHIT!!! this movie STINKS!!

me on the brown line right now

Tomorrow, Linus is going to be a volunteer poll worker at his alma mater for their annual preschool mock elections. The kids vote for their favorite cracker, just like in real elections

it’s the beautiful brown dog’s 7th(ish) birthday today. behold: kermit

Out on patrol. ICE very active on the far North Side including Edgewater and Lincoln Square. Multiple abductions. Vulnerable folks should get off the street if they can. Street vendors should be bought out, landscapers warned. If you’re in Chicago and you’re not ICE watch trained, pls get trained.

New awareness campaign

my man looking like Miley Cyrus

fuck! FUCK!!!!!

if I were the toronto blue jays I’d simply hit a walk off home run

fuck! FUCK!!!!!

you like to see a guy named ernie succeed

got this hat for $5 today

your brand's promotional email headline "no tricks, just treats?" groundbreaking.

biked in the dark and the cold to get back home…got me feeling like the white E.T.

I think it’s time for us to give the majestic turkey club sandwich the same reverence and cultural status as the chicken caesar wrap.

I think it’s time for us to give the majestic turkey club sandwich the same reverence and cultural status as the chicken caesar wrap.

Per court filing, a federal immigration agent pointed a gun at a U.S. citizen protesting and told him “bang, bang,” and “you’re dead liberal.” From a weekend Loevy civil rights firm filing

husband has to present to a college class tomorrow…praying they do not call him “unc.” or worse, “chopped”

woke up this morning and noticed I’d reinstalled the TouchTunes app the night before

1933 was in black and white, so no one knew how bad these looked then

Don't you fret, M'sieur Marius I don't feel any pain A little fall of rain Can hardly hurt me now You're here, that's all I need to know And you will keep me safe And you will keep me close And rain will make the flowers grow

Magnificent Morning at Millennium Park. Today in Chicago at the Bean.

stumbled upon my father absolutely dadmaxxing. incredible sight.

Fart is making a comeback — as a shit

Here's a photo of my friend and colleague, Jorge Bautista, getting shot in the face with a flashbang grenade. The ICE Agent is so afraid of Jorge (who was posing no threat) that he has wet himself. Please share this photo. Everyone needs to know what cowards ICE agents are.

“is that the—“ “the Snoopy Drive-In Hamburger bag? yeah, it is.”

“the mayor” looks nice and the knicks seem to have enjoyed their hoops and basket balls!

JOHN FRUSCIANTE: So I can do like five minutes of melodic King Crimson stuff at the end? With a field recording? ANTHONY KIEDIS: Yeah man absolutely. Sounds incredible. The song is called “Sir Psycho Sexy” by the way.

food banks have already been under pressure over the past several years, and with SNAP benefits expiring they're going to be the only safety net for a lot of people please donate what you can. $100 can feed several families for a month because of the discounts and purchasing power they have

*slapping my thighs and standing up from the couch* ok that’s it. I’m doing business with Ontario

*weirdly boastful* this would not last a fucking week on my toilet

same energy

yeah, it could've been anything! mud, coffee...covfefe, even

the video of Donald Trump dumping diarrhea on a protest seems real, but is actually AI. here are a couple of “tells” you might have missed 🧵

I love all the protest signs. sorry! it’s true. it’s like posting, but in real life. and what could be better than that?

this rocks. when indiana edu killed the student newspaper, Purdue stepped up, printed the forbidden issue, drove it to Bloomington and stocked the boxes.

David Byrne at #NoKings on his bike. (via @wutangforchildren.bsky.social)

my immunocompromised germaphobe mom bravely attended the No Kings protest in Peoria, with an incredibly on-brand sign

my husband just asked a server “deviled eggs, huh — is that a Halloween menu item?” and science has yet to find a measurement for the speed with which I kicked him under the bar

women will be like “date night with this handsome guy 💕” and it’s just ghost turnip