Occam's Razor always rules. Always.

79. American citizen.

MIKE JOHNSON: We have to ensure that the rule of law applies to everyone TAPPER: Does the rule of law apply to people who stormed the Capitol on January 6? JOHNSON: Apparently there were 274 FBI agents in the crowd TAPPER: They were sent there to do crowd control. It wasn't a false flag operation

“Show us your warrant!” “Ma’am, you’ve been watching too many movies. We’ll show you the warrant after we’re done.” 🤔 *busts in the door with babies crying*

🚨If you think this cannot happen to you - then you are mistaken. Eventually, your demographic will NOT save you. If you do not care about the people it is happening to now, then you are no better than ICE. You are not more important than anyone disappeared today. 👏🏻Wake👏🏻Up👏🏻People! 1/2

The war on Portland is just today’s “don’t mention the Epstein files” Stay frosty my friends

I stopped the escalator. #resist

I’m not autistic, I’m acetaminodivergent.

Nearly 7 million views for ABC's official YouTube video of Kimmel's 28-minute monologue overnight. It is already the most-viewed Kimmel clip of the year on YouTube. www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1tj...

I continue to feel that our national experiment of making the dumbest MF in the country president was ill advised.

@fashionablyloud.bsky.social 😘

I understand Miller doesn’t like being called Goebbels, but maybe - and I’m just spitballing here - he should stop plagiarizing Goebbels speeches

Because it is apnews.com/article/west...

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

The right: Unfettered access to machine guns instead of vaccinating youth! MAKE AMERICA HATE AGAIN. The damage these two narcissists have done is impossible to measure.

These MF'ers are CRAZY if they think I'm going to "tone it down." I haven't gotten close to hitting my stride...yet.

It's weird how Tylenol caused autism (first diagnosed in 1943) before it was even invented (1955). What a clever drug.

Look, it’s Heroin and Adderall ganging up on Tylenol.

Wtf.

If you lose access to USA info we have it posted on our government website : www.canada.ca/en/public-he...

There is no world in which it is normal for the president to publicly call upon his attorney general to hurry up and prosecute his political foes. It’s like the Watergate tapes but posted on social media. Let’s get a grip on what’s happening here.

PSL fans act like they just unlocked a secret personality trait by ordering gourd milk.

Here’s an idea. The west has held about $300 billion in Russian assets. They should release 2 billion a day to Ukraine until Russia stops the war, or they disperse it all. Then Russia will have to accept the war has an additional real cost per day

He finally got his revenge against the man who asked him if he was up past his jail time. Now it's up to us to ask why he's terrified to release #TheEPSTEIN_PedoFiles. #StandWithTheSurvivors

That was fast. This is also why you don’t surrender to autocrats - you fight them and beat them.

Pumpkin Spice Lattes taste like Hobby Lobby smells and I will never be okay with that.

I know we keep focusing on Colbert and Kimmel as we should, but we also need to remember there are hundreds of people who work for these shows who also just lost their jobs because of this bullshit, and most of them are probably not millionaires.

Where the separate divisions of ANTIFA landed on the beaches of Normandy on June 6, 1944:

I stand with PBS. I stand with NPR. I stand with Stephen Colbert. I stand with Jimmy Kimmel. I stand with the First Amendment. PERIOD.* *Also #ReleaseTheEPSTEIN_Files

Wouldn’t it be wild if Kimmel ended up becoming our Zelenskyy

Just now, 11 state and city lawmakers were arrested by DHS police on the 10th floor of 26 Federal Plaza after a hour of demanding access to the ICE lock up on the same floor. @thecity.nyc

The California Sheriffs Association does not believe the incarcerated firefighters who helped save Los Angeles should be paid for their life saving labor. Despite our bill receiving bipartisan unanimous support in the legislature

After years of complaining about cancel culture, the current administration has taken it to a new and dangerous level by routinely threatening regulatory action against media companies unless they muzzle or fire reporters and commentators it doesn’t like.

Trump just designated “Antifa” as a terrorist organization, on par with ISIS and Al Qaeda. As a reminder, “antifa” is short for “antifascist”. They will use this lie to surveil, imprison, and kill Americans on the left. This may be our Reichstag Fire moment. Wake up. www.cnn.com/2025/09/17/p...

This is why they’re deleting studies

Silly Jimmy Kimmel. He should have just called for all homeless people to be killed and he’d still have a job.

They will defend bigotry, racism, hitler salutes, attacks on Black women, misogyny, and Trump in the Epstein files. But if you talk about how Charlie Kirk was assassinated by a radicalized gun loving white kid… expect to be state-sanction canceled.

All this bullshit sponsored by capitalism.

The FCC Chair saying “You can deal with Kimmel the easy way or the hard way” is the very definition of a chilling effect on speech, and a good indicator the First Amendment is a dead letter in the Trump regime. Free speech is dying in America and none of our free speech warriors seem to care

Welcome to the United Kingdom! 🇬🇧 Never before in U.S. History has a President been acknowledged by another country in this unique way! 🇺🇸 At Windsor Castle, in London & all across the land, people are United! ✊ They all want to see the #EPSTEIN_PedoFiles, ASAP! 👀

All true. Except that we have a federal administration that is moving quickly through the classic fascistic and authoritarian playbook, with chilling parallels to evil regimes of history (and the present). And as Americans we need to recognize that.

Hey Republican politicians- are you sure you want everyone to have genital warts and no one to have birth control? Have you thought this through?

If this became a weekly series, it would run longer than The Simpsons.

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truly one of the most unintentionally funny things i've ever seen someone post online about themself