If there are any survivors of sexual assault out there, don’t worry, Pam Bondi wants you to know the stock market is doing GREAT!

"We need laughter more than ever right now." – Dana Goldberg ICYMI: @dgcomedy.bsky.social plugged our LA comedy event, Stand Up for Equality, on @bravowwhl.bsky.social with @bravoandy.bsky.social! 🏳️‍🌈 Grab your tickets & join us on 3/4 for a night of queer joy: tinyurl.com/lambda-comedy

It’s pretty fucking wild that the DOJ is releasing files that include accusations that the President of the United States raped underage girls, to distract from the fact that the DOJ is covering up murders of US citizens by their own government.

It’s time to tap into your internal lesbian anger! Even if you’re straight. Now is the time to fight for your 1st Amendment rights! Let’s go!

Minnesotans are incredible. They are protesting and holding the line in Minneapolis in -10 degrees! Which is still 20 degrees warmer than Kristi Noem’s cold dead heart.

Greenland has said no to Trump several times. At this point if he moves on her, it’s no longer an invasion, it’s an assault. Something he is very very good at.

Believe what you’re seeing with your own eyes. We know what really happened.

The @dailybeanspod.com has been nominated for a GLAAD award! I’m so honored to be part of this team. Congrats @dgcomedy.bsky.social, @mswmedia.com , the whole Beans team, and the Leguminati! And congratulations to all the nominees!

Who did this!?! 🤣🤣🤣

"I saw the video and what if a bird flew by and one of the shipwrecked used a paper clip and squid ink to write a message to attach to the bird's leg to get a message to Suriname so they could continue their mission?" - Tom Cotton probably

We’re launching a daily video podcast this Sunday on the MSW Media YouTube channel. And we have a tinfoil hat segment. Because we have theories. Here’s a sneak peek.

A time was had! What an extraordinary night with @outmagazine and the #OUT100 class of 2025! I got to meet some of my heroes and share space with dear friends who are trying to make the world a better and safer place for the #LGBTQ community. #equality #representation #gay #comedy

Just a reminder you can troll DT for possibly blowing ‘bubba’ without bringing up Monica Lewinsky. You’re not being clever, you’re losing the plot and showing your misogyny.

After the revelations in these 23k+ Epstein emails, I’m convinced these billionaires didn’t manipulate the last election to keep Trump out of prison, they did it to keep ALL of them out of prison. May ANYONE involved with Epstein rot in hell and prison, you soulless pieces of shit.

I want to thank all the veterans who have served this country, but especially the transgender veterans who served and still desire to serve in spite of being treated like 2nd class citizens by the very country they defend. Thank you all for your service.

I need you all to know that my mother sent me this. 🤣 That is all.

JD Vance’s half brother just had his ass handed to him. Well done Cincinnati!

Mikie likes it and New Jersey likes Mikie!!!

I hope someone is writing "12 Hangry Men" about the sandwich guy jury

They called it for Spanberger! Strong work, Virginia!

Chicago! We opened up a late show on the 14th because the 7p sold out so fast! Come play with me at the Annoyance Theater! Ticket link in the comments ❤️🏳️‍🌈

I’m so disgusted by this administration and all the cowards who have the powerful to stop this but refuse to.

Chicago! Tickets went on sale for my Nov 14th show and there are only 39 left at the time of this post! Go get them before they are gone. Small intimate amazing theater. theannoyance.thundertix.com/events/255427

The East Wing.

I am BEYOND thrilled to share that I have been inducted into the iconic #Out100 for 2025! It’s a huge honor to be recognized alongside so many brilliant and inspiring individuals who are shaping our world and advocating for greater inclusivity and diversity. www.out.com/out100/2025/...

What a 🤡🤡🤡 show!

Release the Epstein Files.

I heard Trump tout in 12 different videos that we’ve taken in $17T in his first 8 months. Either he’s the worst business man ever, he’s been lying about money every time his lips move, or this shutdown was never about funding. No need to answer, it’s all three.

The way this made me laugh! 🤣

Portland is an amazing city. Here’s me, @dgcomedy.bsky.social and Andy McCabe at Polaris Hall at what can only be described as an unruly antifa gathering last year.

If you give your kids Tylenol PM, they’ll only have autism at night.

Jesse Watters just called for the bombing of the UN on national television. FCC? Nothing? Crickets? Got it.

Boarding a plane to NY and the old white guy in front of me said to the attendant, ‘I hope there’s not a female pilot’, and I’ve never been more disappointed that the rapture didn’t actually happen.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I know we keep focusing on Colbert and Kimmel as we should, but we also need to remember there are hundreds of people who work for these shows who also just lost their jobs because of this bullshit, and most of them are probably not millionaires.

All the 2nd Amendment warriors are sure fucking quiet about the 1st right now. I stand with Jimmy Kimmel,

Okay, they caught someone. Now release the full Epstein files.

Donald Trump just announced he won the US Open.

I had a gig the other night and one of the comedians was having an amazing set…until they told a transphobic joke. I watched the crowd immediately turn on them. This was a very straight, cis, older crowd and they weren’t having it. It put some hope back in my chest. ❤️

Blue Sky peeps! Personal and professional favor. I'm in the top 10 for the OUT100 reader's choice this year and would love your vote if you feel like I'm deserving of the accolade. :) Thank you in advance! (tell your friends 😁) www.out.com/out100/voting

The media is failing voters in Texas. They didn’t just make new maps that ‘favor Republicans’, they made new maps without the voice of the voters that further disenfranchise large communities of Black Texans. These are racist maps through and through.

Some fragile men are big mad about male cheerleaders? If there is one super hot male cheerleader amongst a sea of super hot female cheerleaders and your focus for any reason is on the one male? That probably says more about your sexual orientation than his. Just sayin’.

If Donald ‘actually’ won the last election in a ‘landslide’, why would he need to be pressuring so many states to redraw their maps before the midterms? Yes, this is rhetorical. We know why.

I say this with my full chest. Kim Davis is an insufferable cunt. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

They already gave Maxwell partial immunity before she testified. This coverup is one of the most grotesque things I’ve ever seen in my life. Everyone in every party should be horrified by what this administration is doing to protect pedophiles.

Bondi said she didn’t release the pornography photos to protect the victims. I call bullshit. If she cared about the victims, she would have them testify in front of Congress like many said they would. She didn’t release them to protect the Johns.

Just believe the survivors! We know they were buds. #hallelujah #comedy #parody

This is the photo the WSJ is using in their article about Bondi telling him he’s in the files. It’s giving ‘Grandpa, right this way. We don’t need you anymore’ vibes. Their useful idiot.

Trump went judge shopping in Florida with his ridiculous lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal, hoping to get Aileen Cannon, and instead it landed with a gay Obama appointee. I can’t stop laughing. 🤣🤣🤣

Hey all! San Diego and adjacent! The 7p show on Friday August 15th sold out in 4 days so we released a 9p show! Hope to see you there! This is a small intimate theater so these tickets will go fast. ❤️ ci.ovationtix.com/33385/produc...