Think about all the limp dick “Buhhh what about our groceries” posts from the Klobuchars of the world, and then AOC says “our money is being stolen to pay for goons to shoot us in the face” and the difference couldn’t be more stark

Achtung-tied. @theonion.com

He’s not allowed to take a bath for another week but he already smells like a stale fart

Every time JD Vance’s mom chose crack over him it was justified

I’d rather things not happen so much

if you joined ICE I don't think you just get to melt back into society ever again. I think it should be the albatross around your neck for the rest of your life. I sure as hell won't hire anyone who worked for ICE. hope that signing bonus lasts

Days after his third dementia screening in six months the president of the United States, who is an open pedophile, abducts a foreign head of state

Guy who uses “mf” online to refer to people as “my friend”

Just watched the latest Mission Impossible with the fam and it’s honestly amazing that the secret villain from the very beginning of the franchise dies by smashing his dick and balls on the tail of a bi-plane.

I forgot in the Family Guy Star Wars they made the old pedophile Obi-wan

Saying that Jesus was joking when he spoke about the Camel and the Eye of the Needle, that it was a metaphor for a camel entering a narrow alleyway, is loser shit and emblematic how many modern 'Christians' don't actually believe in their own savior.

I miss hiiiiim 😭 he doesn’t even know it’s Christmas

Joy to the world, the lord is WHAT?????

you think about scrooge and he basically gave cratchit reasonably stable long term employment and paid him more or less enough to raise a family on a single income and he's still a fucking villain. today's billionaires are like 10x worse

IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE

Man has everything in the world and is whining the poors are mean to him

no one clam should have all that chowder

rfk jr is an emissary of the plaguelord grandfather nurgle

How the hell am I even supposed to play games with or without AI when AI is making RAM impossible to get?

I love to read this and imagine the democrat guy on here telling me that it’s normal and it’s probably nothing to worry about.

No wayyyyyy

new scam going around where they hire you for a job but pay you less than the value your labor produced

I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons

Keep going. Be meaner. Aim whatever lizard-brain impulse you have towards cruelty and violence in this direction.

Me when I’m thinking

Social media has largely been a net negative for humanity, but the silver lining is at least it helped to shatter the idea that billionaires have to be smart and hard working to be rich.

united states military

Every day my life improves with you in it, Christine. Go wish this wonderful person a happy birthday!

Most heroes don’t wear capes, but in my experience many of them wear aprons

Generational talent

Here’s my Spotify Wrapped 🎵✨

I tried detailing this to my parents re: privatized healthcare and my mom seemingly refused to grasp it

hakeem jeffries: *slowly winks and mouths “I got this” at the camera* our psycho pedophile president has secured the border and was right to pardon an anti-abortion dem indicted on bribery charges

‘9 to 5’ was an early lesson in class conscience for me so I will always be a Marxist-Partonist

I hope this email finds you well. By which I mean: I hope this email finds you skillfully. I trained it to hunt swiftly and without mercy. I would hate for you to get very far. You need to answer for so much.

🍊🟠🐯

He is my greatest love and will one day be my greatest heartbreak

He's tryinggg

Bill Clinton's dick is the lament configuration that has cursed american politics for the entirety of my lifetime

I got a bunch of pennies to sell to any new collectors, only 5 cents each!

Just by sheer chance we are always exactly one vote short of doing good stuff, and one vote over the line to do bad stuff.

Sometimes Monday means watching cow hoof doctor videos on public transit

Crusader Kings 3 is a Rogue-Like and no I will not be explaining myself

October Patreon sticker reward getting mailed out soon Based on @twdetrick.bsky.social kitten #JackAttack🐾

This is what Venture Capitalists think you deserve

linguistic prescriptivism is a tool of colonialism & fascism. words are meant to be mashed up, kitbashed, & remixed. embrace slang. get skibidi w/ it.

Then let the communists lead if the tent is so big.

Come on now

Israel violating a ceasefire deal as a mob of Israeli settlers attack an American journalist and Palestinian grandma & an Israeli soccer match has to be cancelled because of violent fans is all the worse when you remember the deal calls to "de-radicalize" Palestinians and not Israelis

Took Jack to the vet for the first time today! He was a very good and polite boy and charmed everyone in the office. We then napped all day afterwards #JackAttack🐾