These 2, stacked. If we can't reliably estimate the amount of water there's likely to be, and guide it where we want it to be at least most of the time, we're over as a civilization.

If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.

New at Burger King: the Unspeakable Meal, orderable via grim nod

*Long, long, loooooonnnnng, just the longest sigh, with a little bit of deep rumble in it*

"A green plastic watering can For her fake Chinese rubber plant In the fake plastic earth"

If you see this post your getaway vehicle.

In the 60s when Dolly Parton was fresh to Nashville and her record company at the time didn't know what to do with her yet, she released a few incredible girl group/pop/r&b tunes. youtu.be/Zq6_el27aw8?...

This would be an incredible time to very quickly demolish what's left of the White House.

I can no longer follow the plot of this show. I suspect the writers and actors can’t either. I don’t think they have a show runner.

Can we all agree this guy is good for a laugh, probably doesn't deserve to stumble into a wood chipper, but is not the one we're looking for?

they used to make real soundtracks for a movie

The cop doesn't literally have his boot on the priest's neck, but basically that's the photo.

Just dropping in to Bluesky on a very busy day for me to share this photo of my ludicrous Hooiser breaded pork tenderloin sandwich. I can't imagine anything bigger than this is happening on here today.

Gonna have to line that block of Pennsylvania Ave with dumpsters to get rid of all this tat if anyone else is ever president.

Some entertainers and artists die way too early to fulfill their potential, some way too late to lock in their legacy.

This is a Jon Glaser character, surely?

From this news photo, I marked up this map of what seems to be on fire. A UPS plane crashed on takeoff.

I was sitting in a doctors office waiting room yesterday and the Today show was on. They did a segment that's just a few degrees away from an SNL sketch about festive things to do with Mason jars. Keep your eye on Al Roker. I see you, 9:55 am Albert! www.today.com/video/creati...

"Ceasefire" is a thing you do between attacks, apparently.

America right now is an airplane that the crew is actively trying to dismantle mid-flight while at least half the passengers are sitting bare-knuckled just hoping we somehow eke out a survivable landing. (The other half are, inexplicably, rooting for the dismantling.)

Great Scott!

Successful strike by America-hating terrorist levels an entire wing of the White House.

"Why are you so obsessed with Epstein? He's not even in the top five biggest monsters I've exchanged Christmas cards with!"

Huge development for the Internet of Things that Take Pictures of your Poop!

It’s so funny that for the past week republicans have all been like “the only people out there are gonna be Hamas.” Everyone in this crowd is signed up for Kohl’s rewards points.

Trump is bigly looking into whether he can pardon someone from resigning.

Usually, Trump's corruption has a personal motive (profit, keeping himself out of prison, grudges, etc.), but I guess sometimes he just does it for the love of the game?

I'm so glad this didn't go the way I thought it was going after the first sentence.

In the Democratic primary to replace McConnell I'm probably gonna have trouble keeping the beefy bearded white dude who grew up poor, became a secret service agent working in the White House, and is now a workers' rights attorney straight from...

I think one of the better, more subtle tributes to Robert Redford's life is the string of utterly iconic female co-stars who've come forward to eulogize him; each of them take-no-shit types like Fonda and Streisand, and every one of them without a single bad thing to say. A model for male behavior

Not an awful score, but pretty bad. I watched it as a kid and thought it was great, more from the Ghostbusters! It wasn't until the new ones started coming out and reviews were being written that I learned it's widely accepted to be not good. "One time I turned into a dog, and they helped me!"

Government by guys that got banned from every laser tag place in town for being too intense and shoving kids around.

Using one photo on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?

I need this. I don't know where to find it, but i need it. Would they be offended if i suggested it could be topped with chopped onions, shredded cheese, and pickled jalapenos? Or is that like suggesting to a Chicagoan that ketchup is nice on a hot dog?

I watched members of David Bowie's band play a club in Austin on a day off from the tour. Bowie went, and at one point was standing next to me in the crowd. As Jon Dee Graham said when he took the stage later that night, "David Bowie was standing right there! And he was wearing flip flops!"

Like many of us, Ed Begley Jr. has given up on saving the world, and is just ripping around having a good time while powerful idiots burn it all down. (Of course, I'm not suggesting this Mustang spotted coming out of the Buc-ees in Hillsboro, TX is actually Ed Begley, Jr.)

I love this. I want more USL teams to get excellent stadiums and facilities. I can't wait to watch @loucity.com beat Detroit City here.

I'm going to go beat up my neighbor and "earn" his house.

Secure your spot at The Hague now!

I'm gonna be just fine.

Is there a name for the form of government run by morons who think they're supervillains?

Honestly, some well-scoped shovel violence would go down a treat right now.

Crikey!

⏳Final week to sign up to the Green Party. 🗳️ Vote for Bold Leadership on August 1st.

I thought at first that Hulk Hogan was a pretty poor fit for the celebrity death trio started by beloved Malcolm-Jamal Warner and Ozzy, but maybe Chuck Mangione was the third, and Hogan is the start of a second trio of people we're past ready to say goodbye to? 🤞

News: “Malcolm-Jamal Warner, who you’ve admired as a kid, has died” Me: “Noooo!” News: “Ozzy Osbourne, who you’ve admired as a kid, has died” Me: “Noooo!” News: “Hulk Hogan, who you’ve admired as a kid, has died” Me: “Ah. Oh well. What are you gonna do”

Gonna make a fortune selling manly tactical kites to dudes.

Thread of photos of a plastic vessel full of shit juxtaposed with portable toilet cubicles.