I hope everybody who stays needlessly in the outer lanes of a motorway gets a lump of coal for Christmas.

It’s been a great weekend of boxing

Matt Law sucks balls

Flasher is losing 3-0 at Leeds you say? Glasner - but I’m leaving that autocorrect in. Guess nobody can win every game.

Not watching thankfully, but caught the big incident and it is a red because it’s a dangerous tackle. Stupid rather than malicious.

This might be weird AF but I’ve just exchanged a couple of messages with 10Foot on IG and I’m trying so hard not to fanboy.

Oh fuck off Bear.

The Gruffalo is a rite of passage though.

Took them long enough…

Like Spotify Wrapped, December is a free pass.

In your face Worlde. Wordle 1,644 3/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛🟨⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

The next time you’re tempted to beat yourself up over a silly mistake at work, think of the poor guy who pulled a real-life “Sorry, I’m sorry, I’m trying to remove it” after publicly hearting a photo of Jeffrey Epstein.

Echoes the halcyon days of white dog turds. www.dunfermlinepress.com/news/2570423...

Happy Chris Morris was more prophet than satirist day to all who celebrate

AI slop

For balance, I am duty-bound to include this actual certified banger of a joke from Mark Drayford from that same conference.

Spurs should be targeting the fuck out of Ruben Neves if he’s about to be a free agent.

He’s not a regular Liverpool dad then is he you click baiting motherfuckers.

Someone signed off way too much money for Daniel Craig in Knives Out.

I can tell I’m turning into a sad middle-aged man, because knowing I own something that’s a Which? Best Buy genuinely gives me the horn.

If handing someone their arse, was a video clip

The Birth of Jesus narrated by Trump. Unfortunately, this is a real book…

Teaching the Czechs that homophobia comes with penalties #COYS

Good morning everyone. Especially to anyone else stupid enough to have sprayed aftershave in their eye.

Someone needs to do a cock photoshop on this stat.

Harry Wilson, that is RUDE.

I wonder who is going to take the penalty at the World Cup next year…. Diana Ross to do a Stuart Pearce redemption arc a la Euro 96?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD USE HYPHENS

My Spotify wrapped listening age was an impressive 23.

Chappers packing a Christmas present there.

Stranger Things season 5 is a lesson in quitting while you’re ahead.

It’s Antonin Panenka’s birthday today. And to mark the occasion, here’s Julian Dicks giving it some proper fucking welly from the penalty spot…

I will die on the hill that Christmas music has been shit for the past 30 years, with the exception of Michael Bublé’s ‘Christmas’ album. Might make allowances for East 17 too.

No

New season of Stranger Things really hits different now they’re all in their 40s.

I think I prefer it when the games are on Sunday afternoon as there’s more time to enjoy the weekend.

Happy with that starting lineup #COYS

“Get out of my fucking seat.”

Ahahahahaha, local business that recorded themselves sticking a load of Union Jacks to lampposts all about town are currently pissing and moaning about finally Finding Out.

“Autoglass repair, Autoglass replace”

Happy thanksgiving to those over there and those over here that do.

Your boyfriend tells Susie Dent that she absolutely nailed her word of the day

beat rachel reeves - devalue your 2 million pound house by spraying PAEDO LIVES HERE on the front of it

SOOO tempted.

This cold is a treat. I’ve got to experience the feeling of having a brick lodged behind my eyes.

Pretty confident I’d be in with a decent shout tbh.

Tried socks before pants after a shower this morning, and NO.

Adulthood is also endless jars and containers you have to clean out for recycling.

Sets for Batman Returns were kept very cold for the comfort of the real-life penguins involved. This meant that cast/crew repeatedly got sick during filming. The real-life penguins though would often fall in love with their animatronic counterparts or feel so settled that they began mating.