Happy Birthday to Ceefax, the first and last place for your breaking football news. Running home from school and furiously tapping in p302 on the remote, hoping for some transfer gossip. Then onto p312 for the News in brief. Good times.

This week in 1989: Trevor Francis, at 35 years young, working his magic for QPR at Villa Park. Goodness gracious me. Have a look at the technique here. You never lose it, old son.

Today the Champ Man universe celebrates an icon. He can’t be reasoned with. He can’t be bargained with. He has no pity, remorse, or fear. And he absolutely won’t stop until he’s won every trophy, in every league across the world. Many Happy Returns Maxim Tsigalko.

On the anniversary of Brian Clough’s passing, a reminder of how Old Big ‘Ead handled pitch invaders...

Happy Ronny Rosenthal Day everyone. 33 years ago we sat in front of the telly and said: “Oh deary me. How did he fucking miss that?”

A young Marco Van Basten vs Feyenoord 42 years ago today. Looks like a decent prospect, him.

It’s Des Lynam’s birthday. So here’s the doyen of broadcasting introducing the BBC review of Italia 90. The moustachioed maestro, in a sensational coat, alongside Adamski on soundtrack. Good times.

27 years ago today: David Beckham stands over a free-kick in the midst of a pulsating game vs Barcelona. Old Trafford holds its breath. You know what happens next…

It’s Dejan Savicevic’s birthday today. You remember him. Left peg that could peel a satsuma.

It’s 28 years since this textbook Seeya Later from Ronaldo as he scored his first goal for Inter. R9 in full flow. A joy.

TELLY GOLD: Elvis Costello makes a guest appearance on punditry during Football Italia, 1995. James Richardson weaves in song titles aplenty during the half-time scores round up. Delightful.

PR in the 90s. Next level.'

TELLY GOLD: The Saint & Greavsie intro from 1991. Beans on toast. Can of fizzy pop. And the soundtrack to another Saturday lunchtime. Wonderful memories.

It’s 25 years since Gheorge Hagi got the ball vs Monaco... and did this. Shitpinger. Business class.

30 years ago today: Tony Yeboah’s vendetta against tap-ins continued with this zinger (for his hat-trick) in Monaco. Unbelievable, this fella.

On Franz Beckenbauer’s birthday, a reminder of Der Kaiser in his pomp. Sehr gut, old son. Sehr gut indeed.

It’s Dejan Stankovic’s birthday. You remember him. Not even the basic common decency to take a first touch. Good manners cost nothing, you cheap scoundrel...

It’s an important football milestone this week. 32 years since Teddy Sheringham scored a contender for The Best Shit Goal Of All Time. Beautiful. Just beautiful.

13 years ago today: Papiss Cisse And One Of The Greatest Headers Of All Time. Goodness me. Behave yourself, son.

29 years ago today: Verona, pushing for a late equaliser, have a corner at the San Siro... …only for George Weah to get the ball and score one of the greatest fucking golazos in Serie A history.

It’s Marcel Desailly’s birthday. So here’s 45 seconds of him cackling like a maniacal Bond villain intent on global domination.

26 years ago today: A ripsnorter from Ronaldo vs Argentina. Weaker foot, my arse.

It’s 34 years since this magical moment. David Seaman goes for a little stroll in the sunshine at Highbury, and Lee Dixon has an absolute fucking stinker...

Just another Saturday in the 90s. Glorious.

Happy Anniversary to this tweet. And what a tweet it is, by the way…

It’s 32 years since Tino Asprilla did this as Colombia pumped Argentina 5-0 in their own back yard. Feast your eyes on that finish. What a magnificent, mad bastard he was.

It’s 29 years since this Brazilian brilliance from Emerson brought the Riverside to its feet. This era was bonkers. Absolutely bonkers.

It’s Argelico Fucks’ birthday today. You remember him. A headline writer’s dream.

Three years ago today: Probably best we didn’t get VAR involved here.

As it’s Carlos Valderrama’s birthday, here’s 90 seconds of him bossing the midfield. Getting it, giving it, and always finding the perfect weight of pass. Playmaker.

31 years ago today: Ipswich have sent their scouts far and wide… and finally they’ve found the perfect strike partner for Chris Kiwomya.

It’s Carlos Valderrama’s birthday today. You remember him. Brilliant player. And some haircut too…

Clubcall from today in 2008. The next Zidane’s joining Arsenal and Pablo Aimar’s on his way to Goodison. Well worth your 50p per minute for that insider knowledge.

Some dirty business from a young Dennis Bergkamp vs Real Madrid 33 years ago today. That first touch is brazen as you like and the second’s not too shabby either. You rascal.

It’s the 25th anniversary of Winston Bogarde signing for Chelsea. 📅 4 year deal 💰£50k p/ week 🥅 12 games played 🎰 £10m wages Now there’s a man who knows the importance of a work/life balance.

28 years ago today the world tuned in to watch the great R9 make his Serie A debut for Inter. But nobody remembers… because Alvaro Recoba strolls up and hit two Grade A Thunderbastards to win the game. What a fucking maverick.

Fun and games from Forest vs Derby 36 years ago today. - Brian Rice showboats - Paul Blades teaches him a lesson - Stuart Pearce digs a sly knee to the ribs in response Ref’s verdict: A quick word then back on with the game, lads.

Happy Birthday Pavel Nedved.

This weekend marks 37 years since the ball fell to Ray Wilkins at Ibrox, and he did this. What a marvellous player he was.

This weekend marks the anniversary of this Scissorbastard Hall of Fame entry. Walsall’s Roger Boli vs Southend in 1997. A thing of rare beauty.

“Siri, find me an example of a perfectly weighted through ball” “Your search returned Graeme Souness vs Wolves from this week in 1983…”

Today marks the anniversary of one of the great goals of the 90s. You can keep your Bergkamp, Ronaldo, and Zidane. Give me Big Danny Dichio for QPR at Molineux, 1996. You fucking beauty.

It’s Rene Higuita’s birthday. You remember him. Mullet. Moustache. Scorpion kick. And a decent right hook on him, as this fella found out...

30 years ago today David Ginola did this at Hillsborough. Lots to see here: - The sweetness of the strike - That Newcastle away strip - Peter Beardsley doing bits and pieces.

29 years ago today: Batistuta vs Baresi. This era of Serie A was incredible.

Today the Champ Man 01/02 universe celebrates a legend. His left peg was a paintbrush, and your laptop was his canvas. Happy Birthday Kim Kallstrom.

It’s Jose Bosingwa’s birthday. You remember him. Mortal enemy of time-wasting.

It’s the 30th anniversary of Marco Boogers trying to cripple Gary Neville at Old Trafford. Luckily, Julian Dicks was there to act as peacemaker...

It’s 21 years since a young Zlatan Ibrahimovic showed total disdain for NAC Breda. Good grief. Those men had to go home and face their wives and children...

Jeremy Goss uncorks this biblical Thunderbastard at Elland Road 32 years ago today. Goodness me. You don’t stop those.