Joel Embiid is undefeated in the NBA postseason since having his appendix removed

I don't want a custom AI movie starring myself and Marilyn Monroe going on dates, I want movies made by real people about Willem Dafoe getting trapped in a rich weirdo's luxury apartment and having to eat dog food to survive

What don’t they want us to know…

I would love to ask Seal: "F/M/K...my power, my pleasure, my pain."

cade cunningham? more like uhh fuckin uhh cade foolishpork!

the joker: i want to marry the toilet Batman: STOP IT

Every picture of Bob Hoskins and Helen Mirren in The Long Good Friday is an absolute layup “us🫶” text

they're saying he's the most israeli israeli of all time

Anytime Houston plays LA in any sport they should call it the Life Is A Highway Series cuz every single helicopter and drone shot of the cities is just a slew of big nasty onramps and interchanges

Ardent zionist deni avdija looking absolutely shell-shocked at having to be an outgunned underdog for once, violently lashes out at Stephen Castle instead of pursuing diplomatic options

Devin Booker was allowed to get away with 8 fouls in a finals game, very funny that he's suddenly shocked that preferential refereeing exists when it's in OKC's favor

Spurs defenders are hamas

One of the craziest things I've ever seen in my life is that episode of Only Murders In The Building where Nathan Lane does a dead serious dramatic monologue about "the Greek and Armenian genocide"

dont think the NBA should allow a guy openly taking performance enhancing drugs to play, especially after he showed no remorse for breaking batman's back

The cruel irony of being Kevin Durant. You've got a bald spot? No worries man you're literally 7 feet tall! No one will ever notice! What's that? You want to become a professional athlete? The one job where people primarily see you from above?

time to get a "don't blame me, I voted for Bernie!" bumper sticker

an emotionally prepared loved one feels good in a death like this

I think we can officially call it the most failed run for governor of all time

Eh-I

Setting aside all other questions about impeachment, the idea that trying it against a president everybody hates would be a political *loser* for the opposition party is preposterous. Just say you don't want to work! It's more relatable

liberals please read one (1) history book challenge 2026

God, I was just thinking about how they better be using American-made steel to build the illegal ballroom that sucks

the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice

your grandparents voting for reagan

One of my policy ideas is you should be allowed to honk your car horn but you get electrocuted a little when you do. "What if I have a good reason" sorry the policy is the policy

“People’ll tell you Reel Big Fish isn’t spiritually in the genre but that’s wrong,”

i actually think it's lowkey problematic to joke about stabbing caesar bc for some low income senators becoming tyrant is literally the only route out of poverty

aaron burr dialogue from lin manuel miranda's hamilton

looks like we traded generations of healthcare for 4 days worth of missiles

Nice for other countries to know what benefits you can get for 9/11ing us

I'm gonna start saying this at every funeral I have the opportunity to speak at (will not elaborate on what I predicted)

You won't be able to fix it all. You will be able to love. - Helms Jarrell

i made a starter back of beautiful and unique manuscripts you can browse online! (with links) for anyone that wants a good way to spend an afternoon :) open.substack.com/pub/weirdmed...

"Why do ladies love gay smut" is probably an easier question to ask than "why has Hollywood ignored this potential highly lucrative market for so long," because one puts the onus on those wacky horny ladies and the other puts the onus on people paid millions to know this stuff

i just saw a guys head fall off in the parking lot. the police showed up but they said there was nothing they could do. one of them took a twenty from the guys wallet and said they were going in to starbucks to test whether his money worked. i hope it does

love when there's an article about how life is sustainable in the superheated waters surrounding a hydrothermal volcanic fissure on the ocean floor and then like six paragraphs in you find out the author's parents are chemosynthetic bacteria 🙄

dress for the job you want

"Hindenberg designer warns passengers to avoid the Titanic" ass