Logging in to post something completely absurd like "I gots doo doo coming out mah toes"

A REAL American would've had a monster truck rally on the white house lawn. But, who am I to second guess "Comrade" donald tЯumpski?

I'm the staunch Donald Trump supporter that was looking forward to traveling from my hog ranch in Wyoming all the way to Washington D.C. to see one half of Milli Vanilli perform at the great american maga jamboree only to be left broken hearted by their withdrawal from the show.

oh word

A lot of people don't know this but Don Knotts was Steve Buscemi's father.

Making up outlandish lies about people that don't even exist.

Chat boxes are just comment sections that encourage the user to post even more bad opinions.

This could be us but you refuse to wear a condiment.

I'm not even gay and this is the sexiest tweet i've seen all week.

@bornmiserable DID NOTHING WRONG! FREE TONY THIS IS A FUKEN EMBARASSEMENT FOR THE MODS

This is crazy. Anywhoo, where can I buy this fine product?

James "Jimmy Tallywhacker" Talarico

Dicks out for Harambe while Rome burns

Neera Tanden teams up with blackpilled, biphobic antihero and disgraced customs official, Leonard J. Crabs, in a new podcast which promises to be as shitty as you're imagining it to be.

They could at least give us some bread to enjoy while all these circuses happen.

Today I learned that a general purpose Microsoft Linux is a thing that actually exists now. haha.

I hate answering the phone with a polite hello only to discover it's a robocall. There should be some sort of caller id label placed on robocalls. I shouldn't be getting tricked into being cordial with these filthy machines.

"Nooo! Please don't take our atrocities away!" --Israel.

the "could a depressed person make this" meme but it's a toilet full of shit

Starting to understand why people hate this guy so much. I mean, look at this dumb shit. Living a hundred years chilling out in a meadow munching on grass would be awesome.

Due to the success of the war against woke, the CEO of WOKE Enterprises has announced that over 10,000 WOKE associates will be laid off by July.

Wake up, babe! The war's back on!

@nasboat.org you will like this

It's infuriating how fucking unintentionally hilarious he is.

"Thinking" is what got us into this mess to begin with. Please, join me in this war against thought! Together, we can snuff out ideas!

I paid the cost to be the boss but I'm still unemployable

BREAKING: room full of journalists waiting to be told what happened

patriotic gunshots outside the presidential palace spaceships blowing up spectacularly citizens getting to enjoy another of our fine chemical leaks buddy, don't you tell me the empire is dying

IS THE BALLROOM OK

The sound of gunshots go pretty hard near the white house

Somehow suffering multiple paper cuts while attempting to craft the perfect post.

Piss dome is real

This is one of the most forgotten episodes of the original Star Wars television series.

That'll be 1.5 trillion dollars please! *sticks hand out to a bunch of rubes*

This meme must have me confused for someone else.

Heck yeah, I love Star Wars!

Not to sound pretentious but Pinot Grigio pairs well with lucky charms

An 8 million dollar paint job, ladies and gentlemen.

It will be extremely difficult to come up with a bigger scam than the SpaceX IPO. That one is a doozy.

cigarette night is not complete without energy milk

I, too, will not be attending the wedding of my child because America is more important.

Cat paraphernalia with a threatening aura.

I paid $4.47 per gallon for gasoline yesterday. Which is a new all time high price for me. Record Breaking Presidency! Will the winning ever end?

Proof: www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...

Finally! A good excuse for my bad posts!

Serious posting while wearing my fanciest clown shoes

Imagine getting so mad at the internet that you threaten to fight it. haha.

He said, as his diaper began to overflow.

holy shit! He did it! LMAO That's amazing.