I've never been to DC and I think maybe I have no idea how big the white house is

why is everyone talking about canada (rhetorical)

more like amoxichillin

I hope that divorced dui ice agent gets his kids taken away and kills himself 💜

Zachary Schomburg

finally back to getting obsessed with a word and trying to write it into a poem and realizing it sounds bad and fucked up so I have to write another poem

stream my new album "waiting for diarrhea"

poetry is so sick

british people are always going to hospital

I’m an adult with disposable income and a child’s mind

nightmare blunt rotation and it's a picture of my own brain

one part of being middle aged that I wasn't prepared for is otherwise healthy peers dying from cancer. it's bad imo.

just as I suspected, travis calsey has a dick. very interesting

"Avalanche" by Leonard Cohen happened to be on the radio while I watched this video and now I'm convinced its lyrics are constantly playing in Cindy's head. www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f0A...

Micromanaging my self-microaggressions.

Thinking about Cindy again

If you aren't getting zoinked and watching scary videos about biocomputing are you even living

forgot to use a coupon that would've saved me $25 and I fear that may ruin my night

expressing my mind's anal glands

Meet Bartleby, the "Zoomer Boomer" disrupting the managerial space -- from his goon station

there's a woman in australia who cured her bipolar with fecal transplants from her husband btw

I used to recite the names of dinosaurs in a specific order as a little kid but after I tried to kms with a bottle of tylenol I was no longer concerned with dinosaurs. if anything tylenol made me less autistic and I didn't even die

Hello darkness you dumb bitch

Obi Wan Jabroni

asking the airport shoe shine to "make my crocs sparkle"

it's animal collective "fall be kind" season which means I'm reminded that they really said "on a highway there are some workers pissing, it starts my bladder itching." brilliant as always.

[pervert yelling at a herd of cattle] cum boss!!

saw a cybertruck in my neighborhood for the first time :(

there's a 4k rip of the brave little toaster on youtube and it's just as morbid as I remember. at one point the blanket is being pulled into a hole by mice and exclaims "help they're killing me" and shortly after, as he's about to get buried alive, says "I'm not scared." the child came to terms

vaxxed up 😎

I just scheduled my covid booster and having "mental health conditions" or "mood disorders including depression" or "physical inactivity" are qualifying conditions 😎

few things make me feel more alienated than a coworker talking to me about her period and expecting to have some kind of bonding moment over it

cocteau twins: et nee moe err, meek le mot sang teaux. ackeur maghan, plosque en don zoou. me, on the verge of tears: i feel ur pain bestie

just saw the winter red bull flavor is "horseberry surprise??" sounds scrumptious

a lot of my life is about carefully written emails rn and I fear it's making me vulnerable to demons

today was a stupid bullshit day and I wish I hadn't woken up but other than that I really can't complain. how are you?

NEW VIDEO! Zionism and The Last of Us: A Conclusion unfortunately the main public upload will be going live on youtube later today in 1080p with minor censorship. however patrons can already enjoy the 4K UNCENSORED CUT (it's just footage from the louis theroux doc) below!

when in doubt, figure out what you believe (ideally alongside people you love and trust). what do you actually value, and how can you align your politics with those values?

does anyone want this, the fact that "the dishes are giving me a dirty look" was right there and they fucked it up is pissing me off

I'm not sorry for acting strange. I am sorry for being an artist.

almost trauma dumped tonight but I threatened to kill someone instead

at the lesbian bar but I don't think there are any lesbians here ;/

it's really disappointing the very well-known, wealthy, successful people to blame for tens of thousands of beaten and probably dead queer kids keep dying of old age in their sleep in their mansions, you know? wow he died peacefully in his sleep at 89 having seen his wildest dreams fulfilled. owned

why shouldn't I speak ill of the dead, it's not like they care

rest in piss james dobson

what if we had a planet of the apes for humans