🪄✨😺🦉

Ramsay style #CreativeWaysToSignOff

Just drop out of sight #CreativeWaysToSignOff

“Bombing for peace is like fucking for chastity.” - a bumper sticker I had in high school

Redo The Right Thing #RenovateAMovie @meowlmadness.bsky.social

The French Workshop Connection #RenovateAMovie

Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Fixing the House #RenovateAMovie

Breakin' Out the Tools #RenovateAMovie

Good Night World

Ew David points!

#DelusionalWhen I think I'm funny.

They #DelusionalWhen they came up with everything about DOGE.

I'm #DelusionalWhen I'm daydreaming about her again.

these tariffs were designed in consultation with my council of economic advisors

😺🦉🎬

😺🦉📚

Training Degu #RodentBooksAndMovies

Ferret Bueller's Day Off #RodentBooksAndMovies

#RodentBooksAndMovies Gnaws

Squirrel, interrupted #RodentBooksAndMovies

Can't. Don't wanna.

Reviewing my Senator on Google.

American politics makes a lot more sense when you realize that the GOP is afraid of pissing off the GOP base, and the Dems are afraid of pissing off the GOP base, but neither party is afraid of pissing off the Dem base.

Is it me or has the bird app been overrun by, er, idiots who like having a boot stomped on their neck?

When I said I liked it rough I didn't mean my entire life.

I’m worried that the exodus from Meta and Twitter is what they want. To isolate us from each other. Isolation is a big part of autocracy. It makes people easier to lie to and abuse. I don’t have a global answer, but I am working on building a social media space for our podcast listeners.

The bots have emerged like a brood of cicadas.

#NewYearIn6words Seems like 2024 was just yesterday

#APerfectNYE doesn't exist.

who called it a "cuck" and not a "master-beta?"

🎯🎯🎯

Good morning.✌️☕️

#InterestingFact Weirdos are everywhere 🤍🖤🤎💜💙💚💛🧡❤️😁

Sending lots of love ❤️ to …

And I’m out. #mariahpocalypse

‘Tis the season to be jobless…again.

You know it’s a bad sign when your boss sets up a meeting with you the next day. Then, when you ask what it’s about, he says he’ll discuss it in person.

their disrespect is all the closure you need

Coworker: Guess what I’m doing this weekend! Me: No.

Adulthood is mostly just this constant grind of rushing to get somewhere you don't want to go in the first place.

BREAKING: NYPD has located the tunnel the assassin used to escape the city but found it to be merely a painting on a brick wall and smashed up several squad cars upon trying to enter it

Thou shalt not pretend that wanting everyone to have healthcare is “radical.”

Your dysfunctional family #IsAPreExistingCondition. Don't forget to use it for comedy, songwriting, or an excuse to avoid the holidays!

I like online people better than real life people.

#ThereIWasWearingOneSock wondering what the hell happened last night.

#ThereIWasWearingOneSock and no pants laying next to a river with an empty bottle of Jack.

you can't love someone into loving you

Scheduling a meeting at 3pm the day before Thanksgiving should be illegal.