If “Wood” is to be taken at face value, and, per “Father Figure,” her dick’s bigger, we need to have a serious discussion about what Taylor’s packing because GOTDAMN.

It’s October 3, and you know what that means… It’s RELEASE DAY! I can’t wait until morning. I need to listen to it right now. AFI’s new album Silver Bleeds the Black Sun… is finally here!

SCHLITTY SCHLITTY BANG BANG @yankees.com

I love the @yankees.com, but I also hate the @yankees.com, because I’d been prepared to have them blow the Wild Card series and let me be miserable, but instead, they won tonight, and now they’ve given me the most dangerous, most poisonous thing of all…hope.

It’s useful to think of Christian Nationalism as a subculture like any other, with one important difference. THIS subculture thinks of itself as the default “normal” culture of “real Americans,” but which is also under siege by “the dominant culture.”

None of the many, many children at today’s @unionomaha.bsky.social match know that corner kicks are presented by Modelo! (Thank you, Modelo!) Get it together, kiddos!

…and this is what she said gets her through it: “If I don’t let myself be happy now, then when?” If not now, When the time we have now ends, And when the big hand goes ’round again, Can you still feel the butterflies? Can you still hear the last goodnight?

It’s sad how used I am to the @yankees.com loading the bases with no outs and subsequently scoring zero runs. Like fucking clockwork.

Lord have mercy, our bullpen is a dumpster fire.

Perhaps the only comforting thing I’ve taken from following my feed and “the meeting” this morning is that, having spent a good bit of time around career military personnel, I feel confident that most of them are almost certainly rolling their eyes at this drivel.

Give me text or give me death.

The number of takes I’ve seen saying “Who’s Bad Bunny?” and “I don’t care about Bad Bunny” is indicative of a larger lack of curiosity among an uncomfortably large swath of Americans. They’re ignorant, and they’re proud of it. You can extrapolate that as you wish.

Ahhh yes. Once again, ladies and gentlemen… The James Franklin Experience™.

Listen, Omaha, I like you a lot, but if you keep having restaurants close at 9:00pm or earlier on Friday and Saturday nights, it’s gonna be hard to defend your unseriousness.

OBAMA: It's fair to say that 80% of the world's problems involve old men hanging on who are afraid of death and insignificance, and they won't let go. They build pyramids, and they put their names on everything. They get very anxious about it.

I stumbled upon this @bomani-jones.bsky.social TEDx talk this morning, and for 15 minutes I was GLUED. So much of how he described his experience in school and his early career resonated with me. I’ll bet it will with a lot of you as well. youtu.be/8H1iuLcf_H8?...

I also learned tonight that Jimmy Kimmel Live! has had a longer run than both Letterman’s Late Night and Leon’s (first) Tonight Show.

Man, @jimmykimmel.com came out tonight with both guns blazing. That was a monologue for the ages.

YOUR NEW YORK @yankees.com ARE GOING TO BE PLAYING OCTOBER BASEBALL.

Not sure what’s worse: having skin tags on my eyelids, or the period of time during and immediately after they’ve been cut off.

If anyone has any tips for going through the day without feeling empty and hopeless, feel free to reply or DM. Any little bit will help.

IT IS TIME.

A rich and powerful man voluntarily bearing a cross onstage, but adding wheels so it's not remotely difficult, is the perfect picture for our country.

I can’t believe that, with the exception of one play, the @newyorkgiants.bsky.social defense has been keeping them in the game, but Russell Wilson can’t do anything to take advantage of that.

Do you remember? youtu.be/Gs069dndIYk

Could be worse. I could be a Packers fan.

Hung out with buddies, drank a lot of delicious beer, celebrated the anniversary of my friends’ business, did solid work on cleaning the garage, and have not felt hungover at all. As far as weekends go, this one has been top-notch thus far.

Democracy is under attack worldwide. Only education can save it. Please fight for your local library. 🙏

THIS is my fucking America.

I love getting TV and film recommendations, but honestly? When someone recommends a show to me, I tell them I’ll get to it when my To Be Read pile is finished…and I know damn well my TBR pile will never, ever be finished.

I’ve been trying to post a shitty little video but BlueSky isn’t letting me, so I’ll just describe it instead… Josh Brolin’s “What the fuck?!” after THAT scene in #Weapons is possibly the greatest delivery of those three words I’ve ever heard. And rest assured…I’ve heard that A LOT.

Was hoping to distract myself a bit today, but no, the unending encroachment of this stupid world will not persist. I should be shocked, but I’m not that dumb.

Finally—FINALLY—getting to watch this. I’m not a horror movie guy but I’ve been super intrigued by it for a while now, so…time to be brave. #Weapons

After 47 years, Jerry has made the difficult decision to step down from the company we built together. I’m sharing his words as he resigns from Ben & Jerry’s. His legacy deserves to be true to our values, not silenced by @magnumicecreamco.bsky.social #FreeBenAndJerrys

I’m sure all those Nebraska farmers are thrilled with their votes right now.

Joke’s on you! Can’t get fired if you’re already unemployed. HA!

Needing the ball to go to one specific player who’s on your fantasy team and seeing the ball go to literally every other player but him is a truly terrible feeling when your default mode is hopelessness.

It’s 12:53am and my neighbors are setting off surprisingly large amounts of fireworks, so I have to assume that Bud Crawford beat Canelo Alvarez. Holy hell.

I’ve had so much going on today that I totally missed @unionomaha.bsky.social keeping that hot streak going and pulling 3 big points from Westchester! Can’t stop these Owls! #VivaBúhos

Just under the east coast wire, but wishing @999happyhops.bsky.social the happiest of birthdays! If anyone deserves a most excellent one, it’s you, my friend!

Oh no, @lucyrohden.bsky.social ‘bout to come onto @lebatardshow.bsky.social on Monday like a house on fire.

There's no reason to take any reporting about Tyler Robinson at face value right now. Countless officials, law enforcement agencies, politicians, influencers, and reporters have been wrong, hoaxed, or caught making things up. Social media is making us all crazy and stupid.

This is an archived government report that found that “Since 1990, far-right extremists have committed far more ideologically motivated homicides than far-left or radical Islamist extremists.” It existed yesterday and is gone today.

A former acquaintance just called me “disgusting” and the reason our country is in so much trouble. What did I say exactly? I said it was possible to condemn both Charlie Kirk’s murder AND find his thoughts and beliefs despicable. There’s just no reasoning with some people.

Just thinking about how the right made up an entirely fictional left wing character that resulted in so many bomb threats and the like and nobody will face consequences. But people on the left who accurately clocked the victim’s life work lost jobs.

Every. Fucking. Time. When will intelligence prevail?

If I don't see multiple ~media reporters~ columns about the extraordinarily irresponsible Wall Street Journal report from yesterday morning — and their extensive promotion of that inflammatory report — you all should just pack up and go home.

The fact that @lebatardshow.bsky.social played the Mike Gundy “I’m a man! I’m 40!” clip on my actual 40th birthday is just <chef’s kiss>.

I encourage everyone to look out for their safety and practice good internet hygiene, of course. But some of the scolding posts I've read suggest we can change the awful aftermath of a fateful event by just holding our tongues and being quiet little mice, and that isn't my experience.