It should be important to note that he had those jokes loaded into the chamber, written out on cue cards, and probably workshopped them with writers first. Hey Miller want to know something funny about Soy? Your boss personally killed the US soybean industry.

No matter what deal they do, the war has effectively given control of the Strait to Iran. What a masterclass in incompetence by Trump and his team.

The UFC fight on the White House lawn is a disgrace. History will remember this being an extreme low for our nation, among many other lows we keep bumping up against

BURN IT DOWN, BURN IT ALL DOWN

Yo dawg, I heard you like solar panels - so I out some solar panels on your solar panels!

Just wanted to let you know that the IRS has audited every president annually for decades now to ensure there was no corruption and the reason you didn't know that was because only one president found that to be a problem

so can all those J6 rioters ask for a cut of the slush fund themselves or will their families have to do it since so many of them are back in jail for committing fresh new crimes

Translation: I disagree with Charles Barkley’s massively impactful comment (that could actually save lives) but I know I’ll get roasted, so I’ll criticize his grammar instead. And I’ll end my Grammar Mein Kampf with a statement that should be equally egregious to anybody who understands English.

Mockler: He took office and spiked 2.9% inflation, up to 3.8%. Gas prices are up to $4.50 in most states, and he did this all while stripping insurance away from 10 million Americans. I think the most impressive part is the deficit hasn't decreased at all.

hey folks, welcome to the WaPo podcast and today we’ll be asking why americans stopped wearing three piece suits to baseball games but first up - was that high school aged barista flirting with you? yes she was, ok time for a word from our sponsor

Seeing Springsteen is so uplifting to the soul, it’s like going to a church where none of the music sucks. This was last night’s show at State Farm in Atlanta. I went with my daughter.

Name your top 15 TV shows ever, gut instincts only— MASH Ted Lasso Justified ER Coupling (British version) Mandalorian SpongeBob Animaniacs Rugrats Shrinking Mad Men Magnum PI Designing Women The Boys Dexter

The simple fact is, if you voted for a Republican in 2024, with the idea they would eliminate waste/fraud/abuse, then you specifically voted to provide aid to our enemies, and you voted to kill 100s of thousands by denying aid. Own it. Republicans did this. www.cnn.com/2026/05/01/p...

people fucking died for the voting rights act. to wave it away with a magic wand is just so grotesque

When John Rose met his current wife, he was already in his 40s and she was in high school. For him "86 47" is just their respective ages in two decades.

Well this sucks. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

📌Barack Obama was targeted 11 times in assassination attempts during this two terms. I bet you don't remember any of them because they were handled through proper channels, professionally, and he isn't a whiny bitch.

If you're a producer for a cable news show, you should have a tight two-minute montage with a sampling of the many times Donald Trump has encouraged political violence, just waiting for the inevitable Republican guest who tries to pretend Democrats are the real problem here.

The number of people posting on Twitter that this is why Trump needs a ballroom at the white house tells me that this was all staged so that Congress lets Trump have a ballroom at the White House.

glad the press corps isn't alive to see this

Now they all know how children at school feel.

I’m at the combination Comedy Central Roast of Adolf Hitler / Reichstag Fire

Four straight FA Cup Finals. Never been done before. History made.

"I was ABSOLUTELY told that the Democrats would be bringing knives to the gun fight. What the fuck are they doing bringing guns?" --a whole lot of Republicans looking at the results from Virginia right now

Indeed. Complaints about redistricting are invalid. Republicans did it everywhere and invalidated a Constitutional Amendment so they could do it on explicitly racial lines. There are two choices: use the same levers of power as Republicans do, or let them win. There is no "principled" opposition.

Fractures Emerge Between GOP’s Pro-Pedophilia, Extremely Pro-Pedophilia Wings

Shoutout to The Atlantic reporters for publishing these massive scoops instead of waiting years to put them in a book.

The only way we unfuck our country is through a puritanical anti-corruption drive. We need to rip out a vast substrate of corrupt elites and marginalize an even larger contingent of mere incompetents and cowards. Ppl need to be terrified of the white-collar criminal laws of the United States again.

Among the many should-immediately-end-this-presidency daily scandals is the fact that the current administration is dismantling research on the most incredible new scientific advance in the last several decades. Literally killing people.

"Pancreatic cancer mRNA vaccine shows lasting results in an early trial: Scientists caution that more research is needed, but nearly all of the patients who responded to the personalized vaccine are still alive six years later."

What Are We Protesting?

Stop calling Trump a child rapist, filthy libs! Yes, he was best friends w/a child rapist; and he’s been accused in govt docs of raping children; & he wished a guilty child rapist well; & he’s broken his own law every day since Dec 19 to protect child rapists. But, I mean, that’s all you’ve got?

The Strait of Vermouth youtube.com/shorts/kgoZQ...

I bet Erika Kirk bailed on the TPUSA event not because of fear for her safety. She saw how many UGA students pre-registered and realized she was going to have fewer spectators than my cousin’s Chicago-based Tom Petty tribute band.

My theory on the spate of warehouse fires: the first one (Kimberly Clark?) was an inside job done by the owner who wanted to dump inventory and property for the insurance money and tax deduction. And accidentally created a protest movement.

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/

he's counting on people not knowing what a doctor looks like because they don't have healthcare

Send JD Vance on the campaign trail

GLASS CEILING SHATTERED 👏 Marie-Louise Eta becomes the first woman appointed to take charge of a men's first team in Europe's top 5 leagues. She will coach Union Berlin for the rest of the Bundesliga campaign 🇩🇪

I AM GOING TO BURN DOWN THE SHED UNLESS WE HAVE PIZZA ROLLS FOR DINNER TONIGHT [mom sighs, rolls her eyes, writes "pizza rolls" on the grocery list for next week] I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO BURN DOWN THE SHED

I would like to send a hearty fuck you to everyone who voted for this man. Miss me with the “I didn’t know he was crazy and would hurt so many people.” Yes, you did. It’s why you voted for him. His appeal is the pain he inflicts on people you don’t like. Fuck you.

The same geniuses who think Trump, who dodged the draft five times, knows how to win a war also think Trump, who declared bankruptcy six times, knows how to run the economy. That's what Trump Derangement Syndrome actually looks like.

NASA isn't why the US doesn't have universal healthcare, or a social safety net. The US doesn't have those things because politicians with the power to provide them choose specifically not to (with varying levels of support from voters). Enthusiasm for human spaceflight doesn't drive that choice.

Remember when Dan Quayle misspelled a word and it was the end of his political career?

If you’re going to rage-tweet a war, at least learn the difference between “reign” and “rain.” 🤡

Yeah, but they had to get just the right lighting for all those profile photos. Still no investigation, no hospital record, & most ppl can't recall the shooter's name. And if you think "God protected Trump," you believe God wanted Cory Comperatore to die, horribly, in front of his kids.

Woodstock GA #NoKings

The Declaration of Independence specifies 27 grievances with King George III and Britain. Donald Trump and his regime have committed at least 20 of those same offenses highlighted in yellow. #NoKings