yesss

just stumbled upon what might be the funniest graffiti i've ever seen

i'm not a political actor i insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corncob

i would win a fight against any president up to at least reagan because the stone cold stunner hadn't been invented yet

Prime with ads. Just how Kubrick intended.

every democrat: TACO trump is at it again, folks! and that is NOT a slay! pundits: do the democrats have an academic jargon problem?

the issue isn't that the democrats don't "talk normal", it's that you CAN'T explain why democratic policies are beneficial using normal language because they're all so means tested and qualified it takes a paragraph of consultant speak to even get to the point

victor wembanyama kind of played shitty tonight and he had 12 blocks

rudy gobert is perfect to me. whether he's defending the paint like an unbeatable monster or dribbling the ball twice and then falling over backwards, i just love his style.

"today is may 4th" - star wars

yo dude you should come out with us tonight we're going to the restaurant to get our ids checked

the whole eastern conference disgusts me go 76ers

i hate dramedies it's like hey come on you guys quit kidding around this lady's got a disease

i don't think i ever had the context that he tweeted this on the day bin laden was killed lmao

Saw this white-crowned sparrow having a lot of a sing

This is interesting because it challenges two widely held political assumptions: 1) that people love it when everything at the supermarket is at least $8.99 and 2) that the easiest way to win voters over is to go on TV every day and say that you need to build a big event space or you'll die.

say what you will about bill maher but he puts less effort into being good at hosting a tv show than perhaps anyone in television history and still says stuff like this and i despise him beyond all rational understanding

"this instance in which security seems to have done exactly what it's supposed to and the president was never even close to being in actual danger shows why we need the thing that the president was already obsessed with"

I went to have cocktails to celebrate the giant meat grinder but then someone turned on the giant meat grinder and it was really loud and scary. and you're laughing

POV it’s dinner time and grandpa’s calling from the wrong P.F. Chang’s

really glad that abc cut away from the 4th quarter of the wolves game tonight to show us how alarmingly fucking old the president is for 20-30 minutes

the bet mgm commercials where jon hamm tells you a made-up story about some people forging a human bond through the power of online gambling are some of the bleakest fare on television today, congrats to them.

i hate dramedies it's like hey come on you guys quit kidding around this lady's got a disease

this only got 2 likes but it's probably the most correct i've ever been

when news broke that the ceo of united healthcare had been assassinated, nobody alive was like "wow i wonder why." what do these people think they're accomplishing by pretending not to understand something that everyone was able to comprehend instantly without any other information?

We should reassign all private and public USD denominated debt to mr beast and then hunt him for sport, his death representing a societal potlatch, a social jubilee, that resets the social collective and begins the economic order anew. This is what I believe, btw.

good luck to all of the young football guys out there tonight i hope you get drafted by a team where the other fellows are not mean to you

i think my favorite genre of scandal pr response is "i have done nothing wrong and also i will be going to rehab/seeking counseling/recommitting my life to the lord"

“Fans of the rich world George Lucas created can expect a consistent output of wildly varying guesses at what might appeal to them,” said Disney CEO Josh D’Amaro

Let the bodies keep the score Let the bodies keep the score Let the bodies keep the score Let the bodies keep the score

timberwolves taking advantage of the new playoff rule where you get points for fouling the other team

i've only missed a plane flight two or three times in my lifetime and it was always due to the interference of a devious figure similar to the noid from the old domino's commercials who takes glee in causing me pain

raising $250 million on kickstarter to call kash patel an alcoholic

called out of work today because i'm still too upset about pat mcafee getting elbow dropped through a table by jelly roll at wrestlemania. i hope he's ok.

the san diego padres wear brown and yellow to celebrate southern california's long tradition of shitting and pissing

We all have days like this

oh no why didn't anyone try to tell him this was going to happen

I refuse to believe someone who worked for years as a professional comedian and writer who made one of the most culturally relevant sketch shows of all time is this naive about the power of the things you say onstage

possible recession indicator: bands i like keep going on tours where they explicitly promise not to play anything that came out after i turned 30

deciding to take better care of my health so i can live to see what clavicular looks like in his 50s

Everybody has a plan until they get gently kissed on the forehead

geese discourse basically indistinguishable from radiohead discourse 25 years ago when people were being accused of pretending to like ok computer to look smart, only difference is that everybody is more paranoid and annoying now

my biggest takeaway from this show is that nobody in this country has a real job

i wanna hear some of this guy's ideas

hiring a guy on taskrabbit to be the one to touch the forbidden stone

i wanna know more about dude on the far left he looks like he's wearing prosthetics to play dennis hopper in a movie

why does everybody assume she's doing this because another big leak is about to drop? she's probably been meaning to say this for awhile but was too busy

a few episodes into NEIGHBORS and i feel like some of the characters on this show are not very good at admitting when they are wrong

man i wish i had control over a globally critical choke point that shit looks fun