Everyone's getting their jokes off about this, which is fine. But instead of goofing around, I won $300,000 on Kalshi by betting that there'd only be one provably barefoot person in a photo of seven crypto freaks. Enjoy being poor.

tonight i am rooting for the secret agent and the dominican republic

lewis pullman living my dream of one day bombing on national television with my dad

my friend raghav died 7 years ago today. i sure wish he could have lived to see all the people he hated continue to grow in power. he would have enjoyed that.

Health Speculations Swirl After Trump Screams, ‘Fuck! I’m Dying!’ https://theonion.com/health-speculations-swirl-after-trump-screams-fuck-im-dying/

i love some of the enemy combinations you have to deal with in the diablo games. exploring a crumbly old crypt and you get attacked by a gang of bandits, half a dozen giant spiders and a polar bear. how do you guys know each other.

Still Life with Two Sunflowers - 1887 https://botfrens.com/collections/46/contents/14168

i'm strongly against this war with iran but i can definitely understand how you would think it's a good idea if you are literally a baby. otherwise it's hard for me to understand. but if you were born on or after like february 1st of this year then i totally get it.

never gonna happen because the spielberg movie was such a big deal but i'd love to see an adaptation of jurassic park where instead of moving it to costa rica they use the book's original setting of allentown, pennsylvania

started reading legacy of ashes and it's crazy how much of the cia's history is just doing this but with foreign assets and secret police instead of cats and coyotes

i saw an interview clip on instagram where geordie greep from black midi said to listen to this album and he was right youtube.com/playlist?lis...

just found out bari weiss's full name is "barold weiss"

is there a band that's like cake but for guys who don't wear glasses

earned nearly 80 american dollars by being good at pinball today, so who's wasted his potential now

i would eat a gyarados i think

until act three the shark in Jaws doesn't even know people are mad at him. he's just hanging out

any task i have to complete will magically expand to fill exactly the amount of time i have allotted to completing it plus five to thirty minutes and i just think that's beautiful

the satisfaction i've been able to get from one of the most belongs-in-prison people out there losing her job has been pretty minimal but i love how it feels to have the phrase "the western hemisphere is absolutely critical for u.s. security" rolling around in my brain like a little car

a lot of white people do not name their children like they love them idk how else to put it

wait we got a french in charge of dhs now who the hell is marquain moulin

jesus christ man gen adm tickets for gorillaz are like 500 bucks

The Onion

probably should have been a red flag when they ran on "no more wars" and then like the first thing they did was go "btw department of defense is department of war now"

I’m looking for copywriting work. All of my experience falls under consumer products, entertainment, and political messaging. Basically, if you need a professional comedy writer who’s performed on the tonight show to make your brand, TV show, or candidate look clever, @ me!

i hate it when i get on a crowded elevator and there's a fuckin jovial vibe in there

somehow ended up taking a virtual tour of nuggets power forward aaron gordon's home and i am losing it at his game room

it's a good thing pete hegseth is from minnesota because this is a real "ope!" situation if i've ever seen one

fuck man how much am i gonna have to spend on gorillaz tickets

hey chat does being president require being capable of completing a single thought ever

The approximate cause of death for Anne Frank was the Nazis. The specific cause of death was the outbreak of Typhus at Bergen-Belsen camp, which overtook her (and others) from chronic malnutrition and medical abuse. These conditions are not, in character, unlike our system of immigration camps today

love to eat cereal, normally, while standing at my kitchen island

judgment night (1993)

attacking iran is unpopular so far but just wait until the president gets done calling every single american individually on the phone to explain why he's doing it

ok the moon better knock it off this shit is starting to piss me off

you almost have to be impressed that this administration can produce horrors at such a wide variety of scales and severities. we're getting world war 3 AND rush hour 4? fuck yeah dude let's make sure NOTHING is good.

hey everybody just fyi i have made the decision that i will not be casting my vote for donald trump in 2028

my take on king kong is that the real monster is man's hunger for entertainment and the real skull island is manhattan

the wistful feeling when you find something incredibly stupid and badly written on the internet and it's dated before chatgpt existed

it's a beautiful day here in portland oregon

larry ellison's son looks like a bathroom tile that came to life

The miniature for the Behemoth (sculptor Jaremy Aiello) from THE MIST is so fuckin gorgeous

last night i was trying to come up with the name of the meyers briggs type indicator and i called it the higgs boson

forcing larry summers to resign for being friends with a pedophile supervillain is a slap in the face to everything harvard university has always stood for

They beat a blind refugee who speaks no English for failing to obey police commands he could not understand. Then instead of apologizing, they charged him with possession of a “weapon”—HIS WALKING STICK. Then they dumped him miles from home without notifying anyone, after which he was found dead.

does anyone know if there's a place on the internet where i can see a bunch of fucked up shit that sucks

went to the store __________ AI Summary ✨ Grammy-nominated R&B singer Jon B. posted that he is going to the stove – perhaps to "cook up" another hot, hot radio single. Frogs and toads, which are the same, can live on the Sun and often choose to.

what in the hell