what a truly ridiculous game this has been

After review, France number 2 tackled England number 25 (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ ...with too much Gusto (⌐■_■)

England playing like a team that realized at halftime it could accidentally save Tuchel’s job

There is literally no non funny outcome at this point, incredible

oh please let them win 5-4, I genuinely cannot contain how hilarious that would be

oh my god this half time interview is absolutely not the vibe 😂

its so england to have a dominant world cup match against one of the greatest teams in footballing history and to have that be a televised moment of national embarrassment. every goal makes it worse. this is incredible

at what point does it become actively offensive that England are playing like this vs their semi-final performance? 😂

showing the character to remember how to play football in a dead rubber game 😌

this is hilarious

Time to sit back for 90 minutes!

Ngl, I hope England get utterly smashed tonight

Pretty sure Kobbie’s “injury” will miraculously heal when he returns to Manchester.

I've seen everything I need to see with that recovery. Santos is him.

look it might only be a preseason game against Wrexham but up the fucking reds

www.theguardian.com/film/2026/ju... depressingly pretty much exactly what I expected the film to be — a visual and modern Hollywood spectacle which deeply misunderstands the Odyssey. Chuds will still call it woke, though.

I'll save you some time, the sound is a giant pie baker saying "uh oh, time for me to go steal some ingredients real quick"

In case you missed what’s going on at MUWFC, btw: Millie Turner and Lisa Naalsund gone to Birmingham (tbf they just got engaged so it’s at least nice they’re staying together), Melvine Malard gone to fucking Chelsea Decent fees, Malard wasn’t signing a new contract, but still…

Subdued mood here in England this morning. Just saw two bus drivers pass one another without doing the little wave. A nation defeated.

I’m not saying it won’t happen; we live on the shit timeline. I am saying use a modicum of scrutiny and question whether 3 unnamed people “close to Burnham” would suddenly be allowed to talk to a hostile podcast about one specific appointment that just so happens to be favourable to the Labour Right

Don’t agree with that. We have the players to absolutely compete against the very best. Unfortunately some of them were left at home and others were hamstrung by a cowardly manager. We didn’t lose against a better team, we lost against a tactically superior, mentally stronger opponent.

honestly the biggest silver lining is how much it’ll piss Homelander I mean, uh, Ronaldo off

Michael Carrick is better than Thomas Tuchel, pass it on he’s also more handsome

To be fair most of us were saying they were wrong at the time too, you gaslighting twat

The argument for succeeding the widely liked coach, an adroit man manager with an unprecedented tournament record with England, with someone who routinely pisses off his players was that Tuchel had the tactical acumen to take the team one step further. And instead he delivers that horror show.

on the one hand, we got knocked out of the world cup again, which sucks on the other hand, I get to be correct about Tuchel yet again, so I think my ability to be smug about him outweighs the loss tbh

They've been playing the World Cup for 96 years and Thomas Tuchel may have just put in the worst coaching performance in the history of the tournament. Legendary stuff.

Tuchel is shit btw

Well I’m certainly glad we didn’t just make incredibly conservative changes

Is there something in the England contract that requires all England managers to go maximum bunkering off of a one goal lead no matter what they've preferred to do over the previous course of their career? Like this is incredibly conservative from Tuchel, to not very good effect.

2018: Deschamps 2022: Desrunnersup 2026: Desconsolationfinalist (respectfully)

Oh piss off Matterface with your preprepared Julius Caesar line, jesus christ.

I don't think there's anything important going on in football right now, so it's the perfect time to say Tielemans is a great signing.

Think this is the perfect take yano

extremely funny that absolutely no journalist was briefing this btw

Tuchel can criticise the performance, but does he realise that he’s the guy stubbornly picking the same players who are either exhausted or not performing at their best?

The most English reaction

Why would England choose “Wonderwall” as their anthem when the Mr. Blobby theme song was right there

writing the newsletter

gabriel clarke, your job is not to tell jude bellingham what tuchel thinks. he will tell the players.

Kobbie aside, I do love how much hater piss England are boiling this tournament so far.

VAR is poo

Fuck yes, well done Spence

at this point just change our goal celebration music to Hey Jude

ACAB includes VAR

Behold: the Loaf with No Thoughts! All hail Crouton of the Empty Head!

Nothing sums up how bad a commentator Matterface is better than him speculating that Bellingham was about to be subbed for Rogers when extra time looks likely. Absolute idiot.

Its Amorimesque

Tuchel letting Mainoo sit on the bench again while he sticks Reece James in the middle is the thing that will help me get over this quickly if they go out