passing a burned realplayer copy of this vid on a CD-R in 2001

“Sure I’ll come with you to the daycare lemme just grab my skulls beanie”

if you hit play on telegraph melts' every day a sunrise, a summer every year at exactly 11:55:21pm, you'll usher in the near year as fractured chaos coalesces into a beautiful whole telegraphmelts.bandcamp.com/track/every-...

high fructose cough syrup

They call it the Polar Express but it stops in front of every child's individual house more like the Polar Local. More like the Polar Local. (shuffling note cards, adjusting mic stand) Polar Local

putting a daycare sign in my front yard and letting the castle doctrine sort the youtubers out

thankful daycares are closed this week because if they weren't you'd have these assholes showing the people who care for kids refusing to let them see the kids for obvious reasons, so you'd still get the WHAT ARE THEY HIDING while making caretakers targets for the worst people.

Wishing you a very berry Happy New Year!!!! From the human and flock in Vancouver 🇨🇦

sports betting ban glitch speed run

wasn't really on board with a security guard outside my kid's daycare but now that the government's shithead stochastic terrorist allies are running around I'm feeling my opinion shift.

i am losing my mind over this listing that staged a condemned philly trap house with AI

SECOND COFFEE

hunting down my nemesis (the inventor of Lift 'n' Peel™ seals, which neither lift nor peel)

had a nightmare i was sworn in as new york city's mayor. it wasn't going very well.

wasn't really on board with a security guard outside my kid's daycare but now that the government's shithead stochastic terrorist allies are running around I'm feeling my opinion shift.

going to the lego store and picking up the oscar pistorius before-and-after murder minifigs

“Self-deport” is a whitewashed way to describe “fleeing the country under the threat of state violence.” I agree with Maria here — it’s important to call that exactly what it is.

White House Doctor: Trump Has Far More Bones Than Any Prior President https://theonion.com/white-house-doctor-trump-has-far-more-bones-than-any-prior-president/

“I’m not getting good responses from ChatGPT.” Skill issue. You’re bad at prompt engineering. The prompt you should use is promptly get the fuck off ChatGPT.

chubby checker's revenge

this tweet became a regular part of my vocabulary. one of the all time posters. rip dude

One of the best to ever do it

I’m appreciative of any post that uses the phrase “buckle up” at the start. It lets me know it can be safely discarded.

Nonzero chance US weapons blew up US weapons

Newly released footage of ICE goons in LA cornering, shooting and abducting journalist Carlitos Ricardo Parias as he is clearly unarmed. Carlitos is still in ICE custody. (published 12/28/25)

2025 recapped

My tattoo artist somehow ended up on John Waters’ Christmas card distribution list, and he’s the one card she sends out every year as apparently Waters will cut you off in a heartbeat if you do not send him one.

Wang Shishen 汪士慎 (1686-1759), October 1728: 每餐先备买鱼钱，曾记携归小似拳， 一自爪牙动黠鼠，傍人安稳卧青氊。 I set money aside for fish before each meal. She used to be no bigger than my hand -- Now with claw and tooth she routs the crafty rat, And drowses by her humans on her mat.

guys GUYS do you want to feel _completely insane_ please enoy this 1989 public television program called ECON AND ME which features, in part, a diverse group of children walking in a circle chanting OPPORTUNITY COSTS OPPORTUNITY COSTS youtu.be/keit6rlKXCk

insulated boxer-briefs called short jims

They gave Balatro an 18+ only rating because it had poker cards in it. Disney Solitaire has literal actual real money gambling with dark pattern lootbox microtransactions and is for ages 3 and above.

my biggest nightmare as a parent is punishing my kid for something she can't control or didn't do

me when i forget to add more ethanol to my specimen jars

"what are we even doing here, man" -- me to like 95% of bird species

American Canto paperback cover

For those who need the Books in their lives youtu.be/b1irbhY_dgY?...

It finally happened, I refreshed LinkedIn to see new posts

this is one string arrangement and an inscrutable voice clip away from being a new Books track

I sent this video to my friend and she got mad at me

was at the post office yesterday and an older dude had a BAYC shirt, and a younger dude asked him if he had an ape, and the older guy said no some guy gave it to him at a Phish concert

the 12 days of christmas for @mrpussy.xyz but every day is a new reason for bolsonaro hospitalization

me demanding the cancellation of a 2009 courteney cox sitcom

showed my 4-year-old the trailer for Control 2, she thought it was neat

Reminder that Richard Grenell, president of the Kennedy Center, set aside 50 tickets for members of the Log Cabin Republicans to attend guitarist Yasmin Williams’s performance there and heckle her.

not falling for this because i'm not in the pocket of Big Goiter

throat is sore because the house is empty and I needed a song whose notes I can only it singing at full bore, so naturally it was time for @rockplazacentral.bsky.social's I Am An Excellent Steel Horse youtu.be/VXPkbCKFpMA

applied for a job last week that asked for my GPA and buddy that was 20 years ago, I'm not pulling transcripts for you (and weirdly they had the "average GPA" of the company in the about section. And it's just a random adtech co!). First time I've seen that in hundreds of listings.

In conclusion, this should win Best Picture: