sure gas is headed to $8/gallon but at least cornell got rid of their gender studies classes. or at least i think they did, i haven’t checked and if im being honest i wouldnt really know if they had or hadnt because it doesnt affect me but it makes $8/gallon gas all worth it

“you just really had to be there for Dream’s He Loves U Not”

You know your day is going to be blessed when you get an early morning Frankie on the timeline ✨

My dad, he left to go cigarettes but I haven’t seen him in a while

Me seeing college kids boo an AI positive commencement speech: the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day

Play this on a loop for every enthusiast of this slop in higher ed.

Bad news: it’s “Ignition (Remix)”

The definitive millennial song is clearly legend_of_zelda_System_of_a_down(1).mp3

Eating midwestern salads you can’t even comprehend in midwestern towns you can’t pronounce

Imagine this person’s extremely rich inner life

Hear that, kids? Mother on the roof!

Having enough money to hire Weezer to play at your 50th birthday party in Topeka, KS and choosing to live in Topeka, KS is wild stuff to me

THIS IS WHO RUNS THIS ACCOUNT

need to write a mother's day card but I'm out of tokens

we are living through incredible times

I still love the theory a Year 6 child proposed to me that David Attenborough is actually God and he got fed up with people not noticing the amazing things he'd created, so he made documentaries to show off.

I landed too late and all my bbq, gone 😭

The levels of un-wellness (both complimentary and derogatory) I feel when drive through Kansas should be studied in a lab

Asking “did you fall in?” after someone takes a long time in the bathroom is such a classic bit.

Yes, I'm disappointed that voters did not have the final say. But rest assured: voters will have the final say.

y e a r n

Just ghoul shit day after day

Going home is always difficult, but there’s also burnt ends there.

at this rate by next week we'll get united states secretary of labor mike "the miz" mizanin

Your boss would appreciate all the hard work you do. That woman at the Dentist's office wouldn't be so rude. Your Dad would finally say he loves you. Too bad you didn't vote correctly.

Do tell?

I love this attitude so much. Thanks @booksandbows.bsky.social

no, i said we had a "seas, fire!"

[Shoots pistol in air repeatedly] youtu.be/zMtIHiq4sNQ?...

I’m once again yearning

🎶Easy for you, eaaasy for youuuuuu🎶

How I’m trying to be rn fr

I’d like to see an outfield of 5 ft 7 in or shorter but I’m built different

In case you’re wondering what goes on in my brain, it’s just comparing and contrasting these two visuals

at this point you need to watch all the videos in your camera roll because there's like a 7 percent chance that you have video of these two in public that you filmed totally by accident

I VOTED FOR HARRIS, ok? But I think something that gets lost is that no one, none of us, had a say in choosing Harris as the candidate because primary season was over. Ignoring that Biden dropped out in the 11th hour, quite possibly damning us to Trump, is a huge oversight. It was a mess.

Is the cat vaccinated

PAWL THEY SAYIN PHILLY WON THE CHAMPEENSHIP IN 1776 THEY CHEATIN

There’s Nuts on Clark waiting at home for me, praise be.

Sufjan Stevens lyrics

Sorry, sorry, the hantavirus out break was due to me. I asked Kirby to swallow me whole and that aerosolized the virus. Trying to fix it (him spitting me out is *not* an option).

spread the Hondavirus by test driving the all new 2027 Accord today

Allegedly he is just down with a bad case of tall guy back and shouldn’t need to go on the IL

Sorry, sorry, the hantavirus out break was due to me. I asked Kirby to swallow me whole and that aerosolized the virus. Trying to fix it (him spitting me out is *not* an option).

treating it like i’ve treated every other disease in the news in my lifetime: not worrying about it until they start cancelling sports

We are 3 days away from RFK Jr. urging Americans to eat dead rats to protect themselves from hantavirus

Joc Pederson having to do OF again is a recession indicator

I’d like Kirby to swallow me whole, I think that would fix me

I’m brave enough to admit that even though I’m loving all the Odyssey content, I’ve never read it and I do not know what it’s about.

Aphrodite was like “hey Athena, do you like golden apples? Paris chose me as the fairest, how do you like them golden apples?”