Out on a run. This construction company... they just used the GameCube logo, huh?

easily one of the funniest guys america has had in decades

Not sure it’s that brilliant because in real life there aren’t giant death pits you can fall into

10 year anniversary of this tweet coming up, which has aged like a fine wine. Media will move onto the next thing, and everyone will forget this ever happened by next week. Then something bad will happen as direct result a few months later, he’ll blame Obama, and we’ll do it all over again

Starting to think the pod might not save America

This doesn’t seem hyperbolic now

I don't think Kamala Harris would've threatened to commit genocide in Iran on a random Tuesday morning a month after starting an unwinnable war with them for no reason

JD Vance after Trumps arteries explode and he has to be the face of the clean up

Nothing good can happen, it can only bad happen

I’m sensing… a man… the energy of… someone who has… beaten a famous NBA player in 1v1 hoops as a child

What happened to the bob, the weave? All presidents do now is invade the Middle East, hide the Epstein files, eat McDonalds and lie

How and why do old people text you with their email now lol

It's my own fault for using ChatGPT as a search tool, but this really made me laugh. "...with an important nuance..." is sublime 🤌

It’s interesting to see variance in posting between people who’s spirit was completely broken in 2020 versus people who are just now having their spirit completely broken

U.S. foreign policy has been captured by dorks obsessed with the movie 300 and the only way to fix it is to put in power dorks obsessed with the movie Master and Commander.

I would just embrace it if I were her. Fuck them kids, don’t talk to me in public

From now on I’m just adding this image and writing “it’s big enough” on the dating apps, only way to screen unfortunately

*to the tune of train* Parmesan and mozz for cheese Then you fill it with some beef Layer pasta, sauce and heat To 165 degrees

The way my brain can instantly flip between “I am an unstoppable god” to “everyone on the whole planet hates me” after hearing a single sentence of praise or criticism needs to be studied

my dad, who hasn't watched a new release movie in probably a decade (he watched half of Oppenheimer), was just telling me, "They wouldn't let you make Dumb and Dumber anymore" yes, he *does* watch Bill Maher

Hearing reports that the Box Office on this one is Boffo, Gosling Heads vindicated

Pokopia has a cuck chair.

My alabaster milk child Teuton keeps asking for ranch dressing at the caviar factory, it is most epic. The fishmongers despise him.

With these gas prices, there's no better time to implement a nationwide system of Zorb Catapults. Why drive when you could be flung

Chris Pratt

The Iran War, 2026:

oh hell yes, had kalshi getting charged before april on polymarket at +2500

it’s always two bitches telling each other exactlyyy

Drill a hole from one side of the earth to the other, why go around when you can go through

The song from Train Dreams is very beautiful, and also, it sounds like it was written by Nick Cave while he was watching the movie, MST3K style.

Do you think they just call it pop in Korea

Look, I'm open minded, but I'm worried they might ruin it by making a coherent story with a normal production

I don't see why the United Arab Emirates would have a problem with us dropping 12 nuclear bombs near their largest city

It's like these people learned absolutely nothing when they made the movie Sinners

Let there be as much outrage from politicians in Washington when kids go hungry as there is when I break bread with New Yorkers.

Dumpster Fire Friday with Tony Dokoupil

I think we were too hard on Owl City. Dude was just making beep boop music about bugs and stuff in his room, I forgive him

Keep Wii Sports name out of your damn war!

i would like to have people take war seriously

Matching the current vibes in the USA, perfect

Fox Sports graphics department going hard

The belief in trans rights entering the median voters body as Trump makes gas cost $8/gallon

How will this affect the Riyadh comedy scene

Somehow, Ayatollah Khamenei returned

Sure, we elected a group of moronic TV celebrities who started an unfathomable war in the Middle Eas which might result in the total downfall of the United States. But what you're forgetting is the antifa terrorists made a woman Ghostbusters one time, so we had to

Things just haven't been the same since they discontinued the Lemonade That Kills You™️