Now that Trump’s minions are running the country into the ground by puppeting a doddering elderly president around, I have developed a new appreciation for how good a job Biden’s minions did running the country by puppeting a doddering elderly president around

Crypto Leaders Call For Infusion Of 20 Million Dopes To Stabilize Market

if what I did was a "war crime" then how come I'm not in trouble

"Republicans are driving up your electricity bills so they can generate AI memes about their war crimes" should be a political layup

What if we razed every Data Center to the ground and salted the earth where they stood

The Reign of Terror was good actually

imo if you want to get back in power your slogan should be "If you elect us we will prosecute everyone in government who has violated the law"

Just hear me out: maybe the Democratic Party’s problem is that the party leadership is full of people incapable of realizing that Matt Yglesias has terrible political instincts.

No no you misheard me, I voted for Trump so we could say “Petard” again

The fadwife movement

One fried soup coming up

Post your favorite "Lord of the Rings" character. Wrong answers only.

What if everybody ended their posts on Bluesky by saying “thanks! Please like and skeetskribe!”

rich dudes got freakier after butlers fell out of fashion, like say what you will about having domestic servants but clearly it was some sort of moderating force on old rich dudes having a fancy man follow you around saying shit like "oh dear sir, that wouldn't be very becoming"

i would like to suggest a deal with catholicism. if your ‘pope’ starts mercilessly beating people for breaches of airplane etiquette, i will convert

As I’ve said from the beginning these bouts of diarrhea are intended to be lethal kinetic shits

The Girl with the Calvin Peeing on a Chevrolet Logo Tattoo

Breaking News: Donald Trump has just pardoned Ape Mcgilicuty, the sentient gorilla charged with the murder and dismemberment of seventeen members of the Gambino crime family during the rampage that newspapers called Banana Summer

To put a finer point on this whole thing: "Two people with direct knowledge of the operation" — presumably uniformed military leaders — are accusing the U.S. Secretary of Defense of personally ordering specific war crimes. That's a historic accusation.

In a Black Friday news dump, Announces Pardon for Honduran Ex-President Convicted in Drug Case. Donald Trump is OK with major drug trafficking by fascists. This is necessary background to his contention he is killing Venezuelans because they are “drug traffickers.” www.nytimes.com/2025/11/28/w...

honestly, if you said the goal of this administration was to make cocaine as cheap and plentiful as possible, it would explain like 75% of their actions

The Orchid show in Austin in January is listed on the AARP website and my sides hurt from laughing

so none of what he’s saying is real btw

the country threatening the world with nuclear weapons has no functional way to deliver them

Maybe having a President that is a creepy old pervert who pals around with sex traffickers is bad for the country?

They shouldn’t make the dogs fight in a pit to win the National Dog Show but this is Trump’s America 🤷‍♂️

I love the Pasta Knight but I would die for Rigatoni Pony

Feast your eyes on the Pasta Knight

My mom just worried about being out of touch because she didn’t recognize the characters from One Piece during the parade

I would be comforted to know my new neighbor had studied the blade

The Stranger Things gang Home Aloning a Demogorgon is a pretty great bit

nuzzi / lizza misconduct imo enabled the destruction of so much public health & scientific research — and a resurgence in measles in the US. this is not petty tabloid gossip or inside baseball. that they went undetected or were rewarded while great reporters were laid off? it’s a huge system failure

Cats are stored in the ass

It rhymes with hecan

Serving up Jörmungand and Ouroboros at Thanksgiving this year to keep everybody happy

Marge Simpson voice: “A baby shouldn’t be geeked up to the gills”

Handing back student work that’s been written by ChatGPT with a 0 followed by the comment “This essay will never stand in authentic wonder before the Beauty of God’s creation.”

I’ve invented a vaccine to prevent three piece grind bands with standalone vocalists

I finish my earnest speech on the floors of Congress, the music swells, the crowd rushes forward and lifts me aloft on their shoulder, carries me outside, and throws my tarred and feathered body into the Potomac

This post gets progressively weirder the more words you read

This article heavily implies that ICE is being used in a custody dispute to help Karoline Leavitt's brother get his son and have the mother locked up in ICE detention

When I think of a charismatic figure the weird cranky freak who keeps getting in fights over being denied pirogis on Martha’s Vineyard is always top of my list

Whenever anybody tries to talk about AI positively I just see this ridiculous character from Grandma’s Boy. A weird dork who thinks he is smarter than everyone else who is clearly disconnected from real life and humanity

You’re inside Llewyn Davis, Charlie Brown

This is Democracy manifest. What’s the crime, eating a meal? A succulent, fascist meal?

The thing about Star Wars is that Lucasfilm doesn’t know how to make them as movies any more so we get these wild swings that add cool facets to the universe but they never quite land with the intended audience. Acolyte was great, Mandalorian was great, Andor was great.

revisiting old columns for a project and it is fun to read something like this five years after i wrote and think, "yeah this was absolutely correct"