my headphones are arriving tomorrow (they were supposed to be here today)

well now I'm squirming 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 bravissimo @risquedraws.bsky.social

[flirting] wanna watch me eat all 20 inches of this ikea hot dog?

don’t worry dunk, ser arlan of pennytree was deffo buried with his sword

Up late because I spent the past three hours getting some fresh pipes installed 😌

Loot that drops after defeating me: - random fruit (raspberry, cherry, Korean pear, Philippine mango, pomelo, or tangerine) - crotchless panties (used) - random gold jewelry (18k-24k) - 55 gallons of water-based lube - rechargeable book light 🤓

Noooo FLIPPIN’ WAY 😭😭😭 bro I haven’t even posted anything this past month?! I’m so grateful TYTY

Kiwi is out here spoiling me with more surprise fanart 😭😭 this is so nice alsjlasjslsieojskzbrlwjsll

so ANYWAY I started blastin’ 💥 #nsfwsky 💥 #lewdsky 💥 #buttstuff 💥 #propaganda

My recording headphones have been broken for a month but I didn’t replace them because life got a bit busy But… now I have some HD 600s on the way 🥰

I could break free if I wanted to, I just don’t think it’s right to use my raw gorilla strength on a poor defenseless man. 😌💅

OHHHH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 my flabbers are SO GASTED RIGHT NOW

FebRuary Reminder (make sure you really hit the R) that I am available for commissions and other various forms of money-grubbing and usury 💵

cucumber seedlings love my seasonal depression lamp 🌞 🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱

The state of american politics is that one major party wants to kill you while the other simply wants you to die

HEY! I normally don’t ask for money but if you donate to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota (ICLM) and share a screenshot of your donation, I WILL put my pervert brain to work to thank you somehow. 🫡 (Dw I’m also donating bc I make big boy bucks. Just spreading the word 😤)

idc what anyone says, that black muumuu looks great on you your honor

plans if I get laid off: A: get hired at another tech company with a comparable salary and benefits package B: get a contract role at a tech company that doesn’t pay as much C: flash tits and pussy for $$$$ while waiting out this job market

Logging on

Why would you apologize for party rocking? Don’t diminish yourself

attractive women of all ages keep hitting on my partner BRING BACK FACE MASKS

it’s that beautiful time of the month when my period is starting to wane and overlap with my follicular phase (I turn into a horny little caveman with very specific cravings)

I like to pretend that I can’t understand what my partner is saying whenever his dick is out 🤭

#1 fan of Morton’s Iodized Salt as someone who consumes a shit ton of goitrogens (soy, cabbage) ❤️

@purple-juice-4073.bsky.social I feel like a perverted 아저씨 😭 throw me prison immediately

Miranda rights? but officer, I'm a Samantha

cramping

am I addicted?? I have a meeting in two hours and my brain is saying yeah that’s enough time to sneak one in 😏

I’m on my period so he brought home some treats 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

CONVO FROM THE FUTURE: my future child: can goku come over me: which goku

okay time 4 the 😈’s 🥬

cbum’s raspberry creamthickle preworkout powder is the best one I’ve tried AND it’s sparKLYYYY

omggg the toys arrived but also Lovense JUST came out with a new butt plug that matches the lush 4 (hot pink) so I might get that one too 👀 there’s no such thing as having too many toys 👽✨

took a huge zoot after today 😶‍🌫️ I don’t think I’m in danger of being fired but hahahahahahahahahahaha truly nightmarish start to the day

My day as a GWA script 🥲 [M4F] Bullied by the hot quality engineer into quitting your job and becoming his full-time bangmaid [Condescending] [Enemies to Lovers] [Nerd] [Tsundere] [Affectionate] [Degradation] [Sudden Proposal] [Maid] [Sensitive Tip] [Stop making work for him] [MaleSurvivingSpace]

my day is going pretty well I caused a sev1 today at work but other than that I’m having a fantastic time 🥲 (kill me)

luteal phase is the worrssstttt ugh

We need a Sazón Goya of the left

Can’t believe this lazy hack is trying to cash in on Heated Rivalry

🖤NEW AUDIO TIME!🖤 Your big titty wife is self-conscious about not being goth! Written by @almax898.bsky.social I LOVE TONE SHIFTS! I LOVE BEING CUTE! I LOVE HAVING BIG TITS! LET'S FUCKIN GOOOOOOO

Who wants to control my toy? It’s a movie-accurate RC Lightning McQueen with Real Off-Road Action™

I haven’t done any audio recording lately because I saw one clip of his POV in doggy and it shut down my brain (new hobby…? Maybe?) aaaanyhoo thank u god for giving me a slutty hip-to-waist ratio 🙏🙏🙏

I blocked all political accounts and muted all political terms and now I'm much more relaxed, hang on someone's at the door, hmmm it's a wolf

BIG thank you to the GWA community for introducing me to Lovense! There's a Lush 4 and Hush 2 on the way! I'm excited haha 💕 I'm also interested in the Spinel (bc who doesn't love a self-heating dildo), but the high-speed thrusts might be a bit much for me.

special request: M4A audio where the speaker is just… planking until failure 😛

extremely charmed by the unprompted “okay let’s get a dedicated camcorder” after the events of today 🥰🥰 life is so fun when you meet someone who matches your freak

got up to some really pervy shit and now a bunchhhh of strangers have seen me orgasm 🙂 not a bad start to the week~