“More like Lilith UN-fair!” - me when I see how Frasier is treated by his ex-wife

If you die in the game*, you die in real life *Hungry Hungry Hippos

My D&D group after I say “Illithid Activities” for the seventh time: I think we’re gonna have to kill this guy

My mind flayer overlords have let me become temporarily human for good behavior. *lie detector buzzes* Adequate behavior. *buzz* Haven’t ACTIVELY been canceled. *buzz* In 2026. Thank you to @artbyreese.bsky.social for the PFP

I wish I was a little bit dumber, I wish I was a plumber (This is not insinuating plumbers are stupid. I’m sure Luigi knows a LOT more than me. Ghost removal, high jumps, how to fuck good, etc)

Richard Bussy’s Scarytown

Goading the riot squad into shooting me with bean bag rounds so I have a place to sit down at the protest

Future generations will forget the name Martin Scorsese. They call him Absolute Cinema Man

If Caleb Williams becomes the Bears’ first 4,000 yard passer, it proves that all the other ones failed because they weren’t man enough to paint their fingernails

I’m starting to develop a complex. Both mental health-wise and supervillain volcano lair-wise

Fighting a losing legal battle with the YouTuber “CheeseNipz” to remove my likeness from hour four of “Chopped Unc Compilation #27”

I am become a prisoner of the Waffle House www.reddit.com/r/gonewildau...

repost to give those 2 or 3 followers who always like your weird posts a little forehead kiss & a grilled cheese cut diagonally

@5calls.org makes it easy I promise!

New F4M MILF/Cougar script offer on Reddit: Hot Cougar Calls Your Bluff And Dommes You In the Back Room of the Bar www.reddit.com/r/gonewildau... written from a super fun prompt by @ardentdesires.bsky.social

Let it never be said that I don’t follow through on a threat www.reddit.com/r/gonewildau...

The Sony PSP was discontinued because every time you’d talk about it, a bunch of cats would come running

“One fishbowl margarita, hold the margarita 😏” - guy who wants to drink fish water

Any time I order my wings “wet,” they just put sauce all over them. 😔 You guys not pay your water bill back there? 💦

The thing from the Honeycomb commercials is a cryptid and I’m hunting it with a plasma rifle

And Alexander got all huffy and started moping around with shitty, exaggerated body language, for there were several more worlds to conquer

There are cathedrals everywhere

Had to stop eating Uncrustables because I couldn’t wrap my head around the #lore

*walking into my own house where I live alone* fuck man who closed last night

I exist at the intersection of Spike Spiegel’s “whatever happens, happens” and Stu Pickles’ “I’ve lost control of my life”

These are my normal, everyday frames. I have been wearing them for five years. My time is finally at hand.

Outlook for the new year ...

Any time somebody says “have your way with me,” I start thinking about Burger King

I don't have time for wallabies. You're either a kangaroo or you're not.

Who wants to join my non-secular Magic: The Gathering boy band, Swords 2 Plowshares?

GWA, I have bad news

If you start Inside Out by Eve 6 at 11:58:31, you’ll start out 2026 asking if you’re origami

whaddya expect?? I'm a corporate stooge

The Inscrutable Unc: Son, I’ve been a Vornado maintenance man for 25 years now. Don’t try to tell me about “fan service”

Restaurants under the umbrella of Yum! Brands have soundly trounced my own fast food corporation, Tastes Like Ass! Brands

Just gonna drop this here 😏 I’m still pretty new to patreon. But if you’d like to support me, it’s about the price of a cup of cafecito (or two). Hear me moan, and/or see my 📸. I’ve got some fun things cumming soon 😘 www.patreon.com/MaevetheVA?u...

ALL my posts are sticky, if ya know what I mean 😏

“a cute guy who's still a virgin? some girls would find that really sexy!” ✨new reddit audio out!✨ 🔗: www.reddit.com/r/gonewildau...

NEW AUDIO OUT! Would love to be picked up from the airport by a cutie 😇 Thanks for this super exciting script @tornconflict.bsky.social 😁 www.reddit.com/r/gonewildau...

Your pop star name is your favorite Sacha Baron Cohen movie plus your favorite planet. Mine’s Bruno Mars

I am persona non grata in the UK because I don’t know the difference between a tram and a pram

Objection, your honor. The prosecution is yucking my yum.

Lady and the Tramp Stamp

🚨Fellow femme VA's!🚨 Please be aware that there is a person named @mistressamnesia.bsky.social stealing audios, reuploading and then selling them on an AI porn slopfest website called Clips4sale. I would encourage you to look through the website to see if your IP was stolen and submit a DMCA claim.

Hey, I know it's my birthday and all, but here's my gift to you! a fresh, dorky sexy audio, made from a REALLY fun script! (written by @emosquid23.bsky.social 💗) I even made a little snippet of audio for you to enjoy ;) Wanna hear the rest? go here: www.reddit.com/r/gonewildau...

Another Great Value superhero script! The kind of which I like to do! She is not the Scarlet Witch. Please don’t put in the newspaper that she is the Scarlet Witch. www.reddit.com/r/gonewildau...

I am the John Cena at One Night Stand of GWA. I keep my head down. I push through it. I abide by the tenets of Hustle, Loyalty, Respect. Everyone hates me an extreme amount.

It rocks that there are muscles called “calves.” They should all be named after baby animals. Been blasting my joeys lately. Really starting to see some definition in my polliwogs.

My favourite part of a banana is the piece of shit at the end