Genuinely thought that was Cunk as I scrolled past

Job interview tip. Tell the interviewer you're an appliCAN, not an applicant. At this point, offer your hand for a high five.

The cough drops make me sneeze. What are we trying to accomplish here?

Peter Magyar has offered a template which can be used, without too much alteration, in defeating populists worldwide open.substack.com/pub/iandunt/...

the cookie monster writes about food under an om nom nom de plume

Let’s keep the ball rolling for Putin and Trump

The Dream Team failed. Total shock. We sent two of our most mediocre real estate developers and a fraud. Who could’ve guessed this outcome?

There is no McTry.

Ancient ivory from the straight tusked elephant Palaeoloxodon antiquus that roamed #IsleofWight about 100,000 years ago when still part of the mainland. #FossilFriday

Cite the deep magic to me, witch. I was there when it was written and I think it’s important to credit our sources.

A deer A female deer McRay A drop of golden sun McMe a name I call myself McFar a long long way to run

Jesus died for our sins on Friday and then rose again three days later which was somehow on Sunday, and not Monday. And then he did exactly the same thing again a week later. Makes perfect sense.

Social media apps as Lord of the Rings characters, a thread: Twitter: Twitter is Gollum. Began as a normal halfling. Overexposure to evil left it thin and stretched and bitter.

was that Melania speech one of Iran’s demands

Diane Morgan will return as Philomena Cunk for a brand new series titled ‘CUNK ON CINEMA’. Coming soon to BBC and Netflix. #CunkOnCinema #PhilomenaCunk 🔗 variety.com/2026/tv/glob...

“Friday called: it’s bored of wine” Nice try, Kahlua, but I think not

This is so well done. 👌

Ok?

alien: take me to your leader *donald trump appears* alien: lol, good one

Pretend you’re in Back To The Future by kissing your mum last week.

If Trump follows through with his wilder and increasingly concerning threats, Keir Starmer must immediately recall Parliament. The Prime Minister must also withdraw US access to UK bases now. This is a grave and era-defining moment for the world.

Ca Gov Gavin Newsom: “The Vice President is abroad campaigning for a dictator. “The President is threatening to wipe out an entire civilization. “Congress is on recess. “This is a total collapse of American moral leadership — at a historic scale.”

I had a book telling the story of Bedd Gelert when I was very young. It traumatised me. It was worse than Watership Down.

I mean…fair enough, I guess

That Sonic the Hedgehog haircut that was so popular in the '90s and persisted into the 2000s (flat at the front, up and a bit spikey at the back) has, I notice, become the new granny perm. I am so old.

Today I learned that there is a site called Librivox, where books in the public domain have been read aloud by volunteers and you can listen to them for free. There is even an app. I‘m telling you about it, in case you, too, did not know. librivox.org #audiobooks

Just found this at my parents’ house and had quite the Proustian rush

Surely that’s a late tackle, foul and penalty, no?

Oh, my pathetic claim to fame? I know one of the Ovaltineys

America, you do have responsibility for this person, you know?

It's actually called Storm Rodney.

I hope he calls down a barrage. I SAID I hope he calls down a is this thing even turned on?

Drinking Corpse Revivers with my sister and watching The Mummy Feels very appropriate for Easter weekend

You’re going to get mocked a lot for this and you absolutely deserve to be

System of an Oud: "Thank you for replacing the Ayatollah Khamenei with another Ayatollah Khamenei, the Taliban with the Taliban, dictators with dictators, etc." (He's good)

I can’t tell if they’re joking or not

Me leaving the office this afternoon

owling

When you can’t remember the exact name of the American club

In these challenging times someone might need one of them: Childline: 0800 1111 Samaritans: 116 123 Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247 Mind: 0300 123 3393 Age UK: 0800 169 6565 Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650 Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677 MH text support: 85258 Please share. TY x

I’m guessing ‘Ann Summers’ isn’t a thing in America?

And… scene

My creation continues to thrive in every era #popwilleatitself #didIevertellyou

Hear me out. Keep the State Visit, but send Princess Anne instead.

Princess Anne continues to merge with the Christopher Walken meme

The royal visit to the US should not go ahead inews.co.uk/opinion/king...

Bliiiiimey

There are a lot of countries that allow birthright citizenship, but there is only one stupid enough to make you president.