September 30th vs October 1st

Tfw something you say to a relative triggers some unresolved childhood trauma so they viciously text you 60 years of pent up anger for 2 days.

September 30th vs October 1st

Mondays are excellent motivation for updating your resume.

Was checking out Balatro for 15 minutes to get some rewards points and that turned into 3 hours and now I play Balatro.

Nobody has harassed me more than my family.

Kind of surprised there hasn't been a serial killer road comic yet.

Don't tell me you enjoy Jeff Dunham if you want me to continue to respect your opinion.

Wake up, weep, wipe your eyes, and gtf on with your day.

Woke up crying this morning for all the reasons.

Woke up a complete fucking delight again.

Empty Nest life moments you aren't prepared for are things like throwing away ice cream or cookies because they've gone bad.

POV for Boo-kkake

"It's not a doll, it's a limited edition action figure."

Godzilla would be welcome any time now.

If you see this, post a concert picture you took.

Time to write up the quarterly goals for work so thinking about quitting my job again.

I love dreams that give you an answer to a question you didn't even know you were asking.

I wrote a song this morning. Enjoy.

Trump obviously never read the back of a shampoo bottle while on the toilet.

The Church of No Thank You.

Rapture morning walk around the neighborhood

Who's doing a no call no show for work tomorrow to make your boss think you were part of the rapture? We all should.

I think we should find out what RFK Jr and Trump's mothers ingested during pregnancy and have pregnant women avoid those things.

Quote with a gif you can hear.

I'll need a puppeteer when my husband dies. At the funeral, he wants to be dropped from the ceiling and danced around like a marionette.

Post a random Star Trek image.

The rapture is a housing lottery for Heaven.

Saw an ad for prescription ketamine, but what we really need is for everyone to take a huge dose of psilocybin and understand our oneness.

Please let the rapture come and take all these assholes away. 🙏🏻

"Hey! Move it or lose it, pal!"

Put on your favorite Jonathan Coulton album, it's time to make out.

Before you swipe right on anyone, you need to swipe right on yourself first bro.

Saw a car with a "Walk with God" sticker, which seems a lot safer than those "Let Jesus take the wheel" bumper sticker folks.

it's my birthday, i'm 60 POUNDS hold for applause

If the algorithm tries to break you down, Go Crazy! 💜

As a kid were you ever watching Benji and then get mad when you realized it's not Oh Heavenly Dog because you wasted all that time watching regular boring Benji.

Bathing in the blood of your enemies probably feels pretty good at first.

Happy Birthday to @blainecapatch.bsky.social ✨🥳🎂🎁🎈One of the funniest humans I have ever met.

Bought some comedy show tickets so now I have to stay alive until at least the end of November.

I can do anything I set my mind to after panicking first.

Dogma had Mooby, we get Moobs

If a government is opposed to anti-fascism, doesn’t that make it… ?

Jimmy Kimmel did not lie. And he did not disparage Charlie Kirk or take joy in his death. He mentioned that Republicans were scrambling to show the shooter wasn’t one of them. Which was true. He didn’t say the shooter WAS one of them, just that they were trying to prove otherwise.

He wants to be Vader but he'll only ever be Jabba.

A grim reminder: these people will never be satisfied. There’s no point at which they will say “we’ve won, let’s enjoy life.” They will always be looking for someone else to punish, to revile, to dehumanize. They’re empty without that.

Insane that some people don't understand that Antifa is short for Anti-Fascist.

More than halfway through 2025 and this best sums up the vibes

Thinking about that time I caught my Grandpa watching a tattooed topless chick on tv and he goes, "Hey, Chipmunk... This gal's from San Francisco. You know anything about her?" I saw a familiar SG in the corner and said, "She's a Suicide Girl." and he replied, "Oh God. I sure hope not."

Sure, the floor is lava now, but soon it will cool into a nice porous lava rock. I’m playing the long game here.