I was invited to a bachelor party for someone I don’t know like that, but I was told that I need to give him a gift. I don’t think I’ve ever given a man a gift before

Good morning everybody. The biggest lies are the ones you tell yourself. So if you tell yourself that you are anything less than the best, you’re lying to yourself. Have a great day today

He’s a dickhead

Not for nothing, Charles Manson looked like a dweeb

I would’ve beat the shit outta him

To eat, or to be eaten. That is the question

Getting the gooch licked is an odd feeling because it will make you wonder as a man, would I like my ass ate?

Is there gonna be a gooch queen off?

I’m into episode 1 of Lord of the Flies and I’m already in my feels

Hearing your woman talking to her friend talking shit about a man she’s talking to is hilarious, yet humbling

Heard you

I think I’m getting on my wife’s nerves because she asked if there is a game on I can watch

Right now? No. But that won’t be true forever 🙂

At this point in life? No. Later in life? I'll never say never 😂

Gimme 2 years.

My wife’s niece said to me, “why your feet look so dry?” I didn’t have a response, but I immediately put some socks on

I'm absolutely not her type. She likes girls. But if'n given the chance, boyyyyyy

You got outside gas money?

I thought this was a family show. Why are you posting pornographic material?

Fiona

R.I.P Spirit Airlines 1983 - 2026

He is me and I am him. 🎶

Realistically I wouldn't want it... He seems like a decent human being and I'm delusional... One night will have me in love and fucked up.

Crazy, cuz shaking ass IS human nature

I’m really getting into DIY because I eventually want to build my wife a house

The thing I hate about Saturdays is when you don’t have to work, but you miss that window for you to take a nap

That’s the best reason to get him, but not to keep him. If that makes sense

I’m actually older than Google

Y’all really let the 76ers take y’all to game 7?

lol. The follow up “i was curious” 😭😂 i would never want anyone to see my porn history. So i get it 🫠😂

Why does this exist?

If we cross paths, yes.

Im ngl the more i touch elbows with people in the industry, i think its very possible. Just put me in the same room with them and ill work my magic

method man ain’t stuntin my ass 😂

A man- Yes A woman- Proooobably not. If I tried to compete with Victoria Monet for Meg’s attention I think someone might hit me with a brick for my audacity 😅😭😭

Do you think you have a realistic chance of getting with your celebrity crush? Even if for just a night?

Does my celebrity crush even want me?

Enjoy it for now. It will not last long

I don’t know what any emoji responses mean anymore