Imagine the state you'd be in if the moon really did hit your eye.

I worked in a newsagent as a teen and the stale wit of middle-aged men was my kryptonite. I’m a pretty laidback guy, but if an item doesn’t scan and the customer says, “Oh, I guess it must be free then!” they should be summarily executed.

show me how your 2025 went

🎄

The kind .. you find … in a second hand store

The young folk love to mock the old folks for coming out and getting drunk with them. But they have no idea what we’re putting on the line here.

Feeling somewhat embarrassed about the time I tried to convince everyone my uncle was Michael Knight from Knightrider.

Will Arnett was on Conan and told a story about how Conan dealt with the death of his parents by accusing Jason Bateman of killing them. It’s so funny.

🎶

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.

AI art has hit the bootleg DVD marketplace.

“I question the energy that is being dedicated to harming vulnerable people and children rather than tackling the much bigger and very real risks facing women and girls.” A Brownie parent tackles Girlguiding banning trans girls: “It is an attack on children.” www.independent.co.uk/voices/girlg...

Get yourself a friend who sends you stickers of somewhat obscure Adam and Joe Bron-Homme Taffin references from across the border. Thanks @mrstevious.bsky.social!

Morning.

Apropos of nothing…

@jamiesmart.bsky.social Hi Jamie. I was showing my little boy a photo of Tom Hardy (with a dog, naturally), after seeing him in a mask as Bane. He immediately spotted that Tom was carrying a copy of Bunny vs Monkey! Not sure if you’ve seen it before, so I thought I’d send it on.

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈I dream of the day when the world can become a place where transgender people can live proudly and freely as themselves, and where they can love freely As a mascot, I see human love as beautiful and wonderful. I love you all today as well♡

Woah, did Quentin Tarantino say something dumb?! Whatever next.

I went to Hijingo for my work Christmas team party, and it was basically bingo if it was on Black Mirror. But I won a Hijingo branded Bluetooth speaker, so definitely a net gain.

What I’m wearing to the Bluesky Christmas party

"Can you get me free records?" Dude, I can't even get myself free records.

The favourite topic of conversation for the kind of people who think drinking tea is a personality.

“Just like that!”

Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen. Fucked Up Holy Fuck That Fucking Tank Holy Shit Carly Rae Jepsen

The fist pump Blade makes when nailing a guy to a wall is so good, what a great way to start a movie

imagine looking like this while writing tasks for a show that's basically saw for middle aged people

When you see this, post an image from your gallery to describe your mental health

When Homer wants a helper monkey for his helper monkey.

love it when guys who have like 50 years of material decide to dedicate a portion of their set to a ska cover of The Monster Mash

LAB: 99% (+81) REF: 0% (-25) CON: 0% (-18) GRN: 0% (-16) LDEM: 0% (-15) via IMadeItUpForLolz, 27 Nov Chgs. w/ 17 Nov

Things that can only work if it steals all our work can only survive if it steals all our money.

Trying to think what my childhood equivalent of Starmer’s 6-7 meme would’ve been, and it’s between John Major doing an Ali G style finger snap and Thatcher impersonating Loadsamoney.

My stock joke answer to this for a long time was Bill and Ted 3, but then they went and made that. My bad. So: Weekend At Bernie’s 3.

I can reassure you that Episode 9 of The Beatles Anthology is a lovely melancholy beautiful thing. And the restoration on Episode 1 looks great. Can’t wait to watch it all now.

I'm still stuck confusing Battle and Battles.

6 Music is repeating CMAT's Artist In Residence this week, so they're coming back to Sounds. The Indie and Pop ones are really good, but the Euro and Country ones (coming later in the week) are MAGNIFICENT. www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

maybe i am going insane

Me as your bsky therapist

This is rather lovely. naomialderman.substack.com/p/going-thro...

I don't believe in an interventionist God But I know, darling, that you do…

The people who ran the student newspaper were a bunch of cliquey snobs, so I joined the university radio station instead, where everyone was nice and enthusiastic.

A reminder that we’re all just winging it.

Introduced my little boy to Spider-Man: Into The Spider-verse this evening and he really, really *got it*. What a picture.

Listening to Ghost Town by The Specials and it occurs to me that the people who think Britain was a better place 50 years ago are the same people who think this song is about the supernatural

The first international cricket match was between the United States and Canada.

Wonderful stuff. I wonder what the odds were for 18 wickets on the first day? #thecricket

An extraordinary range of emotions since I tuned into #thecricket first thing this morning. Definitely better off missing the England innings overnight at any rate...

This is the most Australian thing I have seen all week and it's a mood