“i’m wearing giancarlo stanton’s pants, liz lemon”

(texting my friend Evil Larry) me: what's up dude Larry: matters most vile

shoutout to game 2 of the 2009 world series

Magic Johnson has reached peak Magic Johnson post

i'm watching rugrats

at least i now won’t be infuriated by sga every single moment of the finals lgk

just saw something about psg being the first team to retain the champions league since 2018, which doesn't feel remotely long enough ago to do a "first since" stat

yeah, i get it

you ever just think about how for many years, mlb decided home field advantage for literally the world series with literally the all-star game

i know it’s not, but i can only picture this as lori lightfoot, who is wearing something insane

the apex of fashion

the jeremy renner app is back except it’s jude bellingham

*pointing at giant fireball* well see there’s your problem right there

i know the spurs and their fans are fully and rightfully over shai's *gestures* everything, but you can't really do that lol

BREAKING: Janice, last surviving member of rock group Dr. Teeth & the Electric Mayhem, disavows any connections to 250th anniversary concert promoted by WH 👇

the jeremy renner app is back except it’s jude bellingham

one of the funniest sporting events ever

oh come on

could five toddlers in a trench coat dominate the nba

Veronica this is no time to be hawking merch

ok so by “original vocalists” they mean?

plenty of people have talked about how the things in “ironic” by alanis morissette aren’t actually ironic, but under discussed is that there’s one “irony” in the song that’s a million times worse than the rest

Marshawn Lynch Regrets Turning Down Chili’s Ad For ‘Euphoria’ https://theonion.com/marshawn-lynch-regrets-turning-down-chilis-ad-for-euphoria/

imagine being president of the united states and getting snubbed by a group popular 40 years ago and best known for lip syncing and also one of them is dead

Eating glue is the weaponization of democracy

my god

milli vanilli are still in the league?

Daigneault’s waffle knit shirt is killing me. We gotta force these mfs back into suits. You’re supposed to look like a stockbroker who drinks at work

"He's a menace ... I WANT SPIDER-MAN!" J.K. Simmons is at the Mets game tonight and ran into a familiar face 😂

does...does he think knicks fans would give him a good reaction because uh

when my team loses a random wednesday game 4-3

none of those words are in the bible

these were the first two posts i got the last time i opened threads

Got off my flight to London and the first thing I saw was a man holding up a sign for a dude named 'Tim Wank'

i've seen enough, oscar

yikes i need it

new funniest contender for the day ***** **** emerges

@nycsanitation.bsky.social I’d like to report a sweep

LGK

drew carey, machine gun kelly, ariel castro, your boys took a hell of a beating

the ball will be in tyler kolek's hands when the knicks advance to the finals, just as we all predicted

hearty snort at the radio station playing “born in the usa” on memorial day

happy memorial day

the planning for my wedding with dua lipa is 95% done, the remaining 5% is just meeting her and getting her to date me