It's time, boys. A winter spring of pussies is upon us. My Winter Car is LIVE twitch.sktn.tv yt.sktn.tv

Ebi making sure she's first in line for some delectable scrampled egg and prawn crackers. Always good to have an extra food delivery hole chewed into the hammock for those left in her wake

MERRY CHRYSLER

Santa Tracker Shows Sleigh Stopped For 40 Minutes Outside Old Girlfriend’s House https://theonion.com/santa-tracker-shows-sleigh-stopped-for-40-minutes-outside-old-girlfriends-house/

queers are so beautiful on film @katesloan.com @paxwords.bsky.social @ultraviolet.gay @transgnosis.bsky.social

Let us prepare for the long fight to protect others and relieve suffering of individuals, of actual people, anywhere we are able.

I was having fun listening to all the music I listened to when I was a kid. What I did NOT expect was to be listening to Meteora while sobbing because my family made me feel unloved. Excuse me while I take a gummy and detach from reality mentally, before it happens physically. (I'll be fine).

This is SO GOOD It may be the only way I will listen to the whole song. I generally find it tedious and repetitious. This though? Amazing. While I was writing this I was listening and went 'is that 311?' Sure enough. He's SO GOOD. www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBvc...

No stream tonight cause I woke up to Lily with a suspicious and concerning wound on her side. We took her in and she had an abscess (likely from wrestling and playing) and she now has stitches and gets to wear a onesie or a cone. But we are taking it in stride, and discord is already memeing.

The Trump family has generated at least $4 billion since Donald’s re-election, thanks to crypto businesses, merchandising deals, and other ventures. It’s unprecedented. The Trump family has turned the presidential office into a hotbed of corruption, purely for their own gain.

An American beast. Tamed. #WorldBollardAssociation

Me: I don’t see the appeal of boxing TV: OK but what if it’s professional boxers savagely brutalizing influencers Me:

You might be thinking, "CPSC, does a dry Christmas tree really burn that much faster than a well-watered tree?" Friend, let's find out together by watching this PSA.

I think Jake Paul should try returning serves from Venus Williams next

Congrats to Australia, this is really cool! report.cervicalcancercontrol.org.au

Watching Saturday football. The announcers are talking about how everything is going wrong for Marcus Mariota (one of the sportsballers) And Greg Olsen (I'm pretty sure) says "our pets' HEADS are falling off" kind of in the background I heard you. And I had a good laugh, thank you lol

Great piece about my dear friend Melissa Hortman. www.rollingstone.com/politics/pol...

Americans can feel how the world is shifting. How prices are increasing. How jobs are decreasing, opportunities shrinking. We can all feel the wires we walk getting smaller, the balance of democracy is getting shakier. Yelling at people doesn’t change reality.

Guinea-Bissau. Naturally, the people - BABIES - who'll be treated like lab rats and risk infection *must* Black. That's what history taught us, right, white people? The "father of gynecology" experimented on enslaved women. The Tuskegee Syphilis Study experimented on Black men. Henrietta Lacks.

So, two days after an antisemitic terrorist attack in Australia — and during Hanukkah — the United States Coast Guard downgrades swastikas from hate symbol to “potentially divisive”. I’m sure that’s all coincidence.

We are parents of a trans kid and our family takes this very, very personally. If you intentionally make life harder for our beloved daughter, it’s EXTREMELY hard to think of you as an ally, to say the least. @amyklobuchar.com - you still send us requests for money, while hurting our kid. Disgusted.

AI is not here to cure cancer, it's here to get specific, individualized data on us to maximize the amount of money extracted from us to make billionaires into trillionaires. Period. Right now, tech companies have a social graph of us. Like, they know I'm a millennial Minnesotan suburban mom.

Their “MAHA” bullshit was always a farce

How To Keep Your Christmas Tree Fresh https://theonion.com/how-to-keep-your-christmas-tree-fresh/

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens https://theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-regularly-happens-3/

Buckle up Dem establishment, because me and my maximum wage tied to the minimum wage proposal are coming for your asses

Live internal commentary from Philip Rivers’ mind after slipping and then having to run the ball “oh shit oh shit Oh Shit OH shit OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT HIT THE DECK OH SHIT”

Imma keep requesting this when I remember about it. It's been 20 damn years, @dominos-pizza.bsky.social I WANT THE DOUBLEMELT BACK

I was looking for an anniversary gift for @jsking.bsky.social, I was served a random ad for a Star Trek advent calendar which I bought without really thinking about it. On December 1, he *really* looked at it. "What does that say?" "To boldly go this Christmas" "Does it?" "OH." (1/?)

This will not contain specific spoilers, but I am so mad at everyone who told me Stranger Things season 4 is good. Husband and I started it today, watched 3 episodes, and I feel like I have been drug back to high school to experience all of my fucking trauma again.

Hi @ppfa.org Do you need someone to write Christmas jingles about safe sex and contraception? I think I found your dude. You do have to pay him though. I am not out here shilling for free work.

Oh, IUD, oh, IUD, you help us not get pregnant Oh IUD, oh, IUD, with period prevention This T shaped thing, prevents alarm With plastic string, and plastic arms Oh, IUD, oh, IUD, you make sex more protected #clitsmascarols

Every day, I pray this will be the day of that one particular piece of good news. You know, THAT piece of good news, inspiring jubilant celebration. Every close-up of hand makeup heralds hope and possibility. May that joyous day come soon.

Treat this cold snap seriously. It’s ready cold out there this weekend and there are resources for folks who need them. The high on Tuesday is 40. Hang in there.

Good news.

Blizzard got me again with Paladins (I fuckin love paladins, my first char in Diablo 2 was Palchick, and I have remade her). My MST3K side is also chuckling because I just saw this in my skill tree. Suddenly I want to make my other paladin look like Joe Don Baker lol

The message diet culture sends to women is that the less of you there is, the more lovable you are. That’s disgusting.

hey reminder since ICE has been dragging around a camera crew with them: if you spot them filming, play loud copyrighted music. Disney or Taylor Swift. Makes it so they can't monetize the footage without getting a takedown notice from the record label.

Here’s a playlist of copyrighted music that you can play to annoy certain fascist news orgs that want to use our neighbors to make propaganda: tidal.com/playlist/c35...

I’m keeping Minnesota’s Muslim community in my heart after the fire at the Masjid Hazma Mosque and Baitul Hikma Academy. Grateful to all of the first responders who stepped up and relieved that no one was injured.

If those weak-ass pull up tries didn't count for me in grade school, I'm certainly not giving this fool any credit for doing ONE pull up. God these people are jerking each other off, telling them they are the greatest to ever live. In realty, they are...this.

Why the FUCK do people drive so stupidly and then laugh when they have inconvenienced other people on purpose? I swear to god I am going to end up going to jail for fucking destroying someone who drives in front of me one day. Let me tell you about my drive home!

lol they don't even have penises...isn't that what they believe makes a man? Also doesn't have boobs or a uterus, so they are not women, right? I think people is the correct term here,and I am so curious as why they say "THESE ARE MEN" but trans men aren't????? (jk I know it's hate)

They’re making an old lady sit out here with me. It’s 12 degrees outside.

So as part of desk cleaning, I need to run to Costco for some stuff. Apparently they do executive member hours from 9-10 so I tried to sign in at 9:50 and am now being forced to wait in the cold cart area because “it’s not fair” for me to wait ten feet inside the warm warehouse.

Tomorrow! Baltimore! come see me and a ton of other sexy vendors at the Mobtown Ballroom from noon to 5 PM! there's three other locations too, but that's the one I'm at.

Green Giant Offering Program Where Gun Owners Can Trade In Firearms For Green Beans https://theonion.com/green-giant-offering-program-where-gun-owners-can-trade-1838097221/

Here's my sixth (wow) album, this one's called Comfort. It's Bandcamp Friday so every dollar you spend goes directly to me. I could not continue doing this without your continued support. If you're grooving on it at all, share it!! 🤝 #newmusic #bandcamp travelyan.bandcamp.com/album/comfort