Happiness is a Warm Gun youtu.be/LoIyUl10ChQ?...

The president is maybe a week away from a new wardrobe only maga can see. Democrats and Rinos will think he's nude.

Minneapolis edition. youtu.be/OQMxawZCKAg?...

Did a ben shapiro impression today. Went to the home Depot and bought a wood. (Plus a couple other items.)

Can I be a never newsome democrat?

Self awareness is when you look like this and align yourself politically and philosophically with phrenologists.

Mayonnaise. The fancy aioli trend kinda ruined dining out for a while.

You're going to get Vance all hot and bothered.

Unless she's marrying the VP, that's not a good look.

English beans on toast, but I don't like beans so I'm gonna use spaghettios.

counterpoint:

your energy is finite & priceless, just like anyone else's. know your worth before wasting it on failsons who were born so insufferable they get traded for perc 30s.

Meet me at the corner of electric avenue and

Maybe it's you that sucks

this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake

Text "stop" in the name of love.

Everyone not saying One Piece at a Time is dead wrong.

Third way is anti human rights, got it.

QB cadence: 86! 47! Under breath: into the fucking sun

Sure dodged a bullet with that supreme court nomination.

want to feel old? this is caillou today

Evergreen

Nope. It's grocery day. Plus, please use alt text.

It’s time for the Milk Hotel to choose a side

Hat tip to Angel Reese, the world's greatest basketball player. Mike never put his name on a tasty burger.

Pandora hit me with a modern band and I love them. youtu.be/20TDd19oA1Q?...

No points for guessing who waluigi goes after.

Looks like Canada is gonna have to wait and become the 52nd state.

Has anyone made the bot that'll tell me if I'm a resist shitlib or a dosomething leftist dirtbag?

Telling my kids this is Elger'nan and Ghilan'nain.

We need to figure out how to get Elon into autoerotic asphyxiation. Maybe democrats should start denouncing it on social media to pique his interest @schumer.senate.gov @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social @amyklobuchar.com We need to stop this evil practice at once @kaine.senate.gov

So, is missionary just doggy style redone for the maga set?

I lost my grandfather when I was six which is probably why my mom never ended up letting me babysit my sister

Angry Matthew McConaughey voice: L I V I D

very normal posting sir

Minnesotan here. Sen. Tina Smith, THANK YOU for voting against this trash legislation. Hooray! 👍 @smith.senate.gov Sen. Amy Klobuchar, you really sold us out. Shameful and cowardly. Boooo! 👎 @amyklobuchar.com

"Every Sunday, Cornelius Ticketmaster IV drives his Lincoln Navigator nine blocks to check in with his son, Prestige, a DJ and bumfight promoter who lives in a former hospital that the family bought in 2017 and turned into a 'cryptocurrency supper club.' But now, Corn says, it's not in the budget."

Marketing got too clever by a (w)hole.

Opie Cunningham owes us so many of these reads as penance for making that stupid hillbilly movie.

Wife: Any last minute Christmas ideas? Me: Just one

ah, the old conservative two-step: 1. deliberately sabotage a thing 2. oh look, the thing is having problems, guess we’ve got to pay twice as much to my buddy to replace it with worse and more expensive service

🎶Baby, it's GWAR outside🎶

Stream Melee Kalikimaka now.

Have a very metal Christmas.

Any relation? youtu.be/dwkwjOd7MCU?...

It really is the everything app.

Canada ain't in the Republic, how did they get Republicans?