Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Hasbro.

Sounds great.

“If all the names in the Epstein files are released then our entire system will collapse.” Works for me.

making a list of american institutions that are meeting this moment, and so far I've got burning man and paleontology down here... guess we're rebuilding society around the study of dinosaur bones and doing drugs in the desert

Gonna sign up for Cameo and charge $1 per word for every video. So I'm guessing my average payment will be $3, and mostly be saying "I'm Farts Johnson." Or maybe "Garfield Is Alive."

This is now one of my most popular #Letterboxd reviews. lmaoo

Ralph, my pup, his full name is Ralphonso Ribiero, even on the vet paperwork. In case anyone is wondering.

gofund.me/5dc1f3f59 Howdy, friends. My good pal, Marsha, still needs help with her Cancer Treatments and related costs. If y'all could share and/or donate to this GoFundMe, I would really appreciate it. Thanks so much!

It's wild to me that this bit came out when I was still in high school. (I would wear this shirt)

One time, @jamesleech.bsky.social called me up and asked if my refrigerator was running. When I said yes, he started crying and talking about how horrifying that must be and asked what size shoes the fridge wears for "nonsexual reasons," he claimed. Real roller coaster of emotion, that phone call.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVfK... One of my all-time favorite short films, right here

These gross motherfuckers need to be shoved off a cliff

*motherclucker

www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0rw... This is me and @jamesleech.bsky.social having an argument.

y'all look at this cutie.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn7M... Here's my favorite Movie Sync. Never mind DARK SIDE OF THE MOON and THE WIZARD OF OZ. It's this. #PinkFloyd #StanleyKubrick #Hashtag

oh I love the JUPITER AND BEYOND THE INFINITE segment of 2001

Hell yeah, let's return to the glory days of arguing about Mike or Joel on IRC, babies. #MST3K

WHO TOOK THIS PHOTO OF ME IN MY LIBRARY??

It’s amazing how quickly they lost my business and how intent they are on never getting it back.

Fuck Target.

“Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives… and to the 'good life,' whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.”

Someone go adopt this sweet pup!!

Day 8 of Black History Month: Alternative Edition - Lenny Kravitz Look, man. The song is a banger and Lenny is mostly naked and soapy for the first half of it. You're welcome.

My mama done told me To get something for dinner

I'm watching that Bugs Bunny short with the idiot vulture and this shit still cracks me up just like it did when I was five. That bird is Dumb as Hell. lmaoo

Every Night I Have The Same Dream

Vince Guaraldi’s first television performance of Linus and Lucy, from 1964. youtu.be/9EMfA5_tm8Y?...

Tragic news today: Mr. Bean died. Suffocated while his head was stuck in another turkey.

I don't know why exactly, but someone's obituary containing "(they) will not be missed" is just a hilarious bit to me. I hope whoever writes mine whenever I die includes it at the end.

Sad news, everyone: In a rather ironic twist of fate, ALF was eaten by cats this evening. He will not be missed.

oh my goodness look at this handsome baby boy

square

This has been a theme on my skyline today. BIPOC, do NOT let these palm colored folks say your name incorrectly. It's not "too hard"; it's laziness and diet racism. They can say Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, and Katchaturian, they can say your name, too. Don't let that shit slide.

Discovery Family | Super Mario Bros. | April 1, 2015; 9:00pm

oh my god, I remember these.

Got his fucking ass

When a sitting representative refers to the Super Bowl halftime show as “pornography,” people should use that to reflect on how they and other representatives are simultaneously working to ban, censor, and restrict “pornography” and what that actually means

HE'S CROSSING OVER

after all why not? why shouldn't I believe it's butter?

Good Lord, I just sneezed eleven times in a row. Oh my God, my back hurts from sneezing.

Fight Club is about being plural & having gay sex with yourself & also secretly being a woman the whole time who you choose over capitalism by killing the alter that is a toxic man with the healing reintegrative magic of gun blowjobs. My mental health is great do not read into this i read the book.

What if the library you live in is filled with dangerous tomes of blasphemous knowledge but they let you live there because they know you can’t read them?!

I'm listening to that weird DARK SIDE OF THE MOON REDUX album Roger Waters put out and it isn't bad? It's just odd. Like, it's him reading a lot of poetry with muzak versions of those songs behind him, then segueing into the lyrics every once in a while. If that sounds like your kinda vibe, try it.

I used to know how to read.