I've only ever seen badgers on TV.

Leeds are staying up!

Arsenal seem determined to throw this title race.

Today's wordle reminds me of the Gary Delaney joke; I was buying some lingerie for my wife and I asked the assistant, "are these knickers satin?" She said,"No, they're brand new". Brilliant!

These beauties are now in flower on my archery range.

That cruise ship with the outbreak onboard is heading to the Canary Islands. Just as @brexitpirates.bsky.social thought his situation couldn't get worse.

The same people that wouldn’t let their kids attend a reading by a drag Queen put their kids within grabbing distance of a notorious pedophile

You're maybe being a bit fierce with it if that's the case.

Very happy, finally fixed the fuel leak (more of a shower) on my classic mini.

every mushroom foraging guidebook: This is Woodland Pot Roast, a tasty little mushroom that adds a delightful flavour to soups and stews. Note that it is often mistaken for Satan’s Fistula, a mushroom that erases the last 9 generations of your family from God’s ledgers.

On the basis of this game, I hope villa get battered in their remaining games and drop out of the European places. #avfc

Nigel Farage only became an MP because someone paid him £5m.

Have Spurs paid Villa to throw this game?

This #villa team is dog shit.

Many sadly concluded we had to go through Brexit before people saw what a horrendous act of self-harm they had committed. I'm terrified the same thing will happen with #Reform - that people will vote for them without realising they've just screwed over their country, loved ones and themselves.

Peanut and pretzel flavour ice lollies. What the fuck is wrong with people.

Technically Crystal Palace could still get relegated. Is anybody talking about that? #lufc

Jumpers are second hand. Fleshlights are pre-loved.

So we're all just letting Farage get away with the £5 million "gift" huh.

A few years ago, Tottenham wanted to leave the Premier League and it might actually happen this year.

Trump calling for the arrest of Obama and Clinton, for treason, can only mean one thing. Trump knows he’s guilty of treason .

Another massive 3 points. We're staying up. #lufc

Where do you get 8 minutes extra in this game? #lufc

Shit ref. Never a foul. #lufc

For me James over Aaronson #lufc

Arse. #lufc

Burnley Keeper has had enough. Wants an early bath. #lufc

3 nil. Brilliant. #lufc

Get in you beauty. #lufc

Fucking ref, never a yellow. He's dying to send a Leeds player off. #lufc

This ref is awful. #lufc

Fantastic from Stach! #lufc

Love Stuey Dallas. #lufc

Although she is stunningly beautiful. #totp

Shania looks like she's got a headache #totp

Ok this makes up for it. #totp #shania

The fuck is this? #totp

Temu Peter Andre. #totp

#TOTP with extra money to spare with this episode.

I miss Bowie. The world was a better place with him in it. #totp

Fuck off Bono. #totp

How did Paul Johnson get steps as backing dancers? #totp

If anyone running a sweepstake on how many times Burnley's keeper is going to go down in his area this evening so they can have a "team talk". ? #lufc

Are protests against our government’s collaboration with an ongoing genocide inspiring violence? We asked fourteen rabid Israel partisans - who have absolutely horrifying opinions on e.g, the use of massive violence against entire civilian populations - and they said: yes

He looks like Data from Star Trek TNG.

I'm fed up of hearing about felon 47. How do I mute all references to him?

@brexitpirates.bsky.social how's it going? Shouldn't you be bobbing about on the waves bothering the orcas by now?

Malta just called a general election for May 30th. Welcome to 4 weeks of mayhem. But turnout will be 95%+

Resign then.

As a general rule, don't sent me voice clips on what's app. Typed messages are quicker to read. If you can't be bothered typing the message, I can't be bothered listening to you ramble on for a minute.