The problem with the Left is some person made a point that hurt my sense of moral superiority and now my editor thinks I could get like four opinion pieces out of the pain.

Phil Mitchell disproves spontaneous human combustion.

All these rich fucks doing psychedelics and not a one of them experiencing ego death is a crime against drugs

I wouldn't listen to a (former) member of Mumford and Sons' opinions about music, so I'll be fucked if I'll give houseroom to brainfarts about immigration.

Isn't it funny how British journalists can do this kind of analysis of what time of day Zack Polanski likes tweets, but totally missed Peter Mandelson defrauding the public for years until the Americans accidentally dropped him in it.

The Palestinian Authority held the first municipal-level elections in years in occupied territory and in response the Israeli army kidnapped one of the victors and held him hostage and released him only on the condition that he step down from his seat.

For years I constantly told people I played in a abdn.

It's amazing that the indisputable historical fact, that the SDP split the anti-conservative vote and condemned the country to a decade of Thatcher, is still being denied in favour of a claim that Tony Benn and the unions were to blame.

"The media do not get to decide who is PM" as a statement in support of Keir Starmer is just absolute perfection.

Finally some good news.

there's lots of changes but one of the major differences between the new internet and the old internet is that on the old internet when someone linked to an article that generally meant you would actually be able to read it

Another unsuccessful attempt to get brunch on Lark Lane. Giving up entirely on that dingy, stinking dump.

Their greatest fear was that someone on the left would get in and their policies might actually work. None of this screaming horseshit is the behaviour of a class of people confident that the left will prove ineffective and unpopular.

Lxds, is it suspicious to be waiting at a fucking train station? In a country where trains are routinely delayed for fucking hours at short notice...

Nearly a decade since Mark Fisher killed himself and some cunts on here are still scoring points off him in the belief that it makes them the wokest people in the room.

Callanish Stones, Isle of Lewis Pic: Jim Richardson

Yaaas! Love to wake up to some good news.

People only do this "Malvinas" crap because it's fun to disagree with the British government. The UK has a stronger claim on the islands than Argentina does, the weirdos that live there don't want to be Argentinian and Argentina is a fash colonial state that constantly violates indigenous rights.

#OnThisDay 40 years ago - 23 April 1986 The first episode of children's footballing comedy drama JOSSY'S GIANTS was broadcast on BBC1. The show centred on the Glipton Grasshoppers and their enthusiastic manager 'Jossy' Blair. It was written by darts commentator Sid Waddell.

billionaire: we need radical solutions for Earth Day. Think bold. Biofuels. Space mirrors. Plankton fertilization. advisor: what about a 2% wealth tax? billionaire: …Cloud seeding. Turbine farms in the Sahara. A Dyson sphere.

Looks like the main attack line against the Green Party from now until the next election will be "soft on Russia and not supportive enough of the World's Best Organisation Ever, NATO". This will scare off enough liberals to stop Polanski making the big breakthrough required.

Animal Farm is simply not a good enough novel to have been on the national curriculum since two years after its publication to the present day, and its consistent inclusion is because the Powers That Be demand children are consistently exposed to an anti-collectivist message.

Rhymes with gadget. You'll need to find another way to say that slur.

This shite gets a block. If you want someone's vote, earn it.

Sod all that. My emails go: [Your name], [Content] Paul

Loads of replies from people who think Stevie Wonder isn't blind, which gives you an idea of the baseline level of ableism on this app.

Hahahaahhaha www.standard.co.uk/news/politic...

Cereal companies could very easily put ziploc closers on their bags but they don't because their business model depends on it going stale so you throw it out and buy more.

Yes, because that’s his job! His role *for years* has been to have his underlings dredge up files full of incriminating-sounding tweets and Facebook likes and then take them to the press, gibbering in terror and foaming at the mouth.

Hard part is, the journos with the skill and access to really breakdown the mechanics of organised bigotry in the UK, would have to admit a lot of their colleagues (or even friends) are actually bigoted. Which just doesn’t feel likely with British journalists in 2026

One of the most cringe things in football is fans of billionaire megabucks clubs calling other billionaire megabucks clubs billionaire megabucks clubs.

A new record for the quickest I've ever turned off a St Mirren game. Merseyside Derby it is.

Thinking about it, my favourite Bible joke is probably the one in this sketch www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1_8...

How do you get to be one of those people who posts "I boiled the kettle" and gets 43 likes?

My impression of Ivor reading "If your breasts" is well-honed. #ruck-seck

UBI is not one policy. The right want to voucherise public services and punish single parents. Tech bros want to giggify work. Social democrats want to make benefits more cost-effective. Democratic socialists want to force employers to behave themselves. The details really, really matter.

I've been the Super Hans in other people's Peep Shows.

State of this fanny, doing the Khazar hypothesis :/

Switch from improv to a tightly scripted format. Replace Greg and Alex with Dame Patricia Routledge and Clive Swift. Instead of tasks, have a woman who aspires to be posh but falls into a hedge when a big dog barks

The bit where Jesus says salt and sauce on chips is wrong. It's in Matthew and Luke but not the other two gospels.

Starmer's told himself to 'get a grip' and that he's putting himself "on notice".

When you're the client journalist Yvette Cooper trusts not to investigate the bullshit she asks you to post on her behalf.

OMG I've just got it! It sounds like 'fucker'!

The man who every centrist presented as the most forensic & detailed motherfucker you've ever seen, a bloodless automaton of pure procedure, in reality has no idea about what's going on around him, & may as well be sitting in his office counting crayons or throwing paper planes at the bin.

#C4News last night reported on the wholesale targeting of ambulances & paramedics in Lebanon by Israel, including the recent 'triple hit', when Israel attacked an ambulance, then attacked paramedics who went to help, and then attacked further paramedics also trying to help.

My parents once replied to an ad on the BBC looking for game show contestants. They'd got halfway through filling out the forms, putting in their 'funny' anecdotes and all that, before they saw it was for a show that was going to be hosted by Paul Daniels and binned the whole thing.

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/

I don't think anything more usefully summarises the UK than seeing the "left wing" government kick the fuck out of one of the few genuinely successful export sectors of the last ten years because racist pensioners who will never vote for them don't like foreigners.