Thumb Wes gives his leadership stump speech to the Labour membership—full of AI-generated, motivational-speech guff waffle, he is doing *exactly* what Starmer did when it was his go-round. Pose like a progressive, govern like an authoritarian. Will the members be duped again? Why not, eh?

Trump's diehard base in the US—like the Reform base here in the UK—is made up of the 1 in 5 voters who are irreconcilably embittered arseholes & I'm-alright-jackals. Their response will either be "this doesn't affect me" or "stfu & quit whining" because they just hate humanity, themselves included.

The man might be in favour of a PR voting system, but have you met his party? The Greens should exercise what is effectively kingmaker leverage here, & extract maximum demands for compliance—e.g. an immediate Commons vote on changing the electoral system to MMP. Anything less is amateur hour!

The Scriveners of Wapping today saying Streeting is "throwing his weight behind a Burnham comeback." All of them credulous enough to believe a person as snide & weaselly as Thumb Wes is being sincere, rather than elated that Burnham is on the pitch in a game he might well lose—& also break a leg.

Chuka Ummuna was at Downing Street the day it all went to the shithouse for Sir Keir. Remind me who he works for again?

Been thinking about it for days now and I can't make up my mind whether Del Boy from Only Fools and Horses would vote Tory or Reform at the next election. It's driving me mad.

So, a Mandelson-McSweeney ally in a seat that's leaning Reform steps down to give Burnham a shot at the big time against Mandelson protégé Streeting....

Catherine West MP on May 9th: I'm putting you BUMS in the cabinet on notice—we need to replace Sir Keir NOW! Catherine West MP on May 14th: Sir Keir would win any leadership contest and I might back him. These are the dumbest, most clownish individuals imaginable at a terrible time to be a moron.

A leadership election that sees Starmer get to finish the job of ensuring oblivion and gets Streeting out of Health and kills his career? Mr Ambassador, with these Ferrero Rocher!

LOL more hated than the most hated prime minister since records began? This is the comedy Britain is famous for.

Found this in my archives

The funniest possible outcome is that Streeting is sacked for his stab-in-the-back, and then doesn't even get the numbers to stand against the Keir Unit. The hilarity would be a generational gift.

As the Thumb Who Would Be King is on the verge of stabbing his boss in the front, a reminder that the Labour Right's plan to sell Streeting to the party membership will be the same method they used to push through Starmer.

The purpose of such pageantry is to convince you that the order of things is eternal, unchanging, unfathomably powerful, and not to be challenged. Never mind that this bollocks was only cooked up a few lifetimes ago A centrists wet dream

A customarily grotesque spectacle, made even more contemptible by the fact the most hated prime minister since records began is clinging onto the door frame with his fingernails. Farcical, condescending pageantry atop grasping hucksters. Layer upon layer of bastardry.

"Is that the Cap of Maintenance on the short baton?" asks Sophy Ridge? This country is a parody of itself.

Starmer's arranged this now because he knows he will be out of a job by then. Forensic. 8D chess.

Omg thoughts and prayers for my guy here in this, his darkest hour xx

🚨 DISASTER FOR STARMER 🚨 The former chair of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Wrestling resigns and calls for Sir Keir to go.

Oh no! It really is curtains for Sir Keir now—he's lost the smug cow caucus.

Baroness Chapman of Darlington turning up to Starmer's last cabinet in her little black dress. "You are one of the people who knows the prime minister *really* well" saith Rigby. LOL and woof.

Incredible in hindsight that John Major, a man synonymous with grey bland uselessness and inheriting a job he wasn't up to, with a parliamentary party that was way out of his control, was in power 3-4 times as long as Starmer will manage

Apropos of nothing in particular, here’s a reminder of the tenures of UK prime ministers since Brexit, in years.

Turns out that this was bang on. A last-throw-of-the-dice speech to outline Sir Keir's values & convictions was so bankrupt and unconvincing that even a party stuffed with cookie-cutter automata couldn't take it any longer. It was the final self-inflicted blow—a man felled by his own nothingness.

You can tell how cooked Starmer is by the picture they're using on the news. As soon as they use The Picture you know he's dead and buried.

Well fucking Hell, you're out of the news loop for a few hours and it all goes pear-shaped in this, the most normal of all possible countries.

Keir Starmer’s sister must be delighted to be used as a prop whenever he wants to talk about someone he knows with a rough life.

Easy one this. You ended up here by doing exactly what you're doing now. Which is all you know how to do: vexatious anonymous briefings to hacks designed to shitstir & fuck over colleagues & absolutely no positive political project beyond that

This is an instance where a stark visualisation can tell the wrong story. People in the Labour leadership will see this & go: "Golly, look at all that turquoise! We need to do everything possible to get those guys back!" And the way they'll decide to do it is by trying to outfash the fascists.

Nothing says "enough is enough—we need definitive and urgent change" like writing a letter to your mates to schedule something for four months time. These people deserve everything they get.

So, are we more persuaded that the learnèd Sir Keir is a man of values and conviction after that speech, or was it a just a hustings to his own Labour MPs saying he's the right man for the job? Cos if it was the latter, I'd say it hasn't worked.

Starmer and Labour must use AI for their writing. Surely. It’s so bad. Buzzword laden, bland, just sickly gruel. Written by robots for robots. It doesn’t matter who Labour install as new leader. We are going to get the same meaningless dross. It’s like Labour brains are saturated in incompetence.

yeah no fair play cos whenever people think of fairness they always think of genocide, brutal attacks on trans and disabled people and immigrants, eye watering austerity, selling the nhs to weapons manufacturers, and criminalising protest

The loathing Starmer inspires is really quite fascinating. But I'm sure a key one is his complete lack of charm: far from the technocrat we were promised he comes across like a poor salesman, squirming when challenged on the efficacy of the shite he's trying to flog.

So, first we had the "island of strangers" apeing Enoch Powell & now we have "Strength through fairness", which is akin to Norsefire's motto in V for Vendetta ("Strength Through Unity") & "Strength Through Joy", the tagline of the Nazi Party's leisure organisation. Is Goebbels on the payroll??

I guess "strength through fairness" is a bit better than "strength through joy"....? Who writes this stuff? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strengt...

Is he confusing "strength through fairness" with "strength through unity", which is in fact the fascist slogan from V for Vendetta.

I do often feel like political discourse focuses too much on the personal attributes of important individuals but jesus wept the man has the oratorical style of a toaster instruction manual.

If the advanced sight of Starmer's speech tomorrow is anything to go on, the PM is aiming to persuade people he's a man of "values and convictions", based on management-speak buzzword diaorrhea that's devoid of any meaningful substance. Pair that with evasive answers to questions & it's harakiri.

peak neoliberalism is driving your party of "electability" to an electoral rejection so disastrous that in order to cling on to your personal power you're ultimately forced, years into your governance, to lay out some actual values that you claim to have

Tomorrow, the learnèd Sir Keir will outline what he stands for, two years after being elected by a landslide. Everyone is saying the speech needs to land—incorrect: the answers to the questions afterwards need to land. And by "land," I mean they shouldn't be answered like a 1960s sci‑fi robot.

Please, Mandelson-selected Labour Party blandroids, do the funniest thing you could ever do.

This one is pretty basic, no?: • People with whom I broadly agree & who are useful to me should get a bye with regards to some unfortunate bigotries. • People with whom I disagree & who are potential hindrances to my goals should be marginalized & vilified. Instrumentalism 101, GSCE-level shit.

Pointing at that ever-spinning wheel yet again and asking, "When will it stop?" knowing the answer is never.

Mad how if you are a callous authoritarian, the solution to absolutely everything is callous authoritarianism.

Nice line from the old man on this just now: "Only an idiot rides into the future on a donkey from the past."

Elated that there will be 300 of these guys in Parliament in the next year or so. Thank you, Sir Keir, you've played a blinder ❤️

Just tried a Shredded Wheat for the first time in about 30 years. Who is this for?? It's like eating a haystack.