40-40 Club ESPN on the screen

🏈 GB 40 - 40 DAL 0:00 OT This game has a 100.00% chance of ending in Scorigami.

These fucking losers wasting all their energy chasing that dude. They could have instead just pointed out that they're right next to the building from THE NEGOTIATIOR (1998) and talk about what an underrated movie THE NEGOTIATIOR (1998) is.

Chicago.

go cubs but I'm actually serious unlike other losers

30-30 is awesome. I thought 40-40 was likely and I'm dumb enough I even thought 50-50 was an outside shot. But 30-30 is still awesome. I love you, PCA

if the democrats want to build lasting power they gotta put out a big thing of spaghetti while they do speeches and anyone can have. Later, in the booth, voters are like "oh yea...the spaghetti guys..."

Seems fine

A message from The President of ANTIFA

i am listening

"Listen Russ..."

me when someone posts your video and then Michael Stipe from freaking REM reposts THAT post and you're nowhere to be tagged:

New Tylenol commercial just dropped

HOT TAKE: I thought even BEFORE last night, Jimmy Kimmel was funny and (relatively) cool. He's always had a different feel to him than the other late night hosts. I can't put my finger on it, but I just generally like the energy he brings. And he's been a really good Oscars host.

This dumbass couldn't even develop restaurants designed for strong unit economics or attractive four-wall returns lol

New Tylenol commercial just dropped

what race were the veterans?

Proud to announce our unnamed tech partners tracked the cell phone locations of hundreds of thousands of people without their knowledge or consent

Maybe the best opening credits sequence ever?

Theme song for Rapture Day:

Ironically, the only person raptured today was Mark Linn-Baker

Raising Cane’s is nephew food. Grow up and eat a ham burger

you probably could have just kept cam smith, jed

A fun thing I like to do is try to reverse engineer what this guy is being told from what he says.

Schumer is HYPING MY ASS UP with this HIGH ENERGY TAKEDOWN of President Cheeto!

"Jimmy Kimmel can come back...after the rapture lol yes!"

Pritzker continues to pander to the Me Personally vote

"Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." Looking forward to seeing Jimmy back on the air.

watching kimmel tomorrow

you probably could have just kept cam smith, jed

Conservatives when an athlete misses games for the birth of their child: FUCKING ASS HOLE FUCK GOD DAMMIT FUCKING SHIT Conservatives when Matt Shaw misses a game to go to a podcaster's funeral: I'M LIKING THIS. I THINK I'M REALLY LIKING THIS!

This is such a funny response. Isn't "getting facts straight" exactly why the question was asked by the press of the press secretary?

[camera switches to matt eberflus furiously shuffling through papers that are clearly pizza and chinese takeout menus while the game clock ticks away]

Trade this dork

Ummmmmmmmmm

The funniest thing about this is even if you took away his fascist xenophobia, could you imagine calling this man a national treasure? He's a bulbous, horrific looking man. He's just awful to look at. He scares all children and he sounds like he's always drunk off of rum-and-olive-oils

Just my recurring reminder that Markwayne Mullin doesn't even have a bachelor's degree

Dammit, I just found out ACAB includes the very best posters

the rice awards should be ashamed of themselves, giving BASMATI the lifetime achievement award. BASMATI doesn't need a lifetime achievement like its career is over. Like BASMATI isn't doing some CAREER BEST work in damn 2025

NEW CONSPIRACY THEORY JUST DROPPED: Sacha Baron Cohen caused the Rudy Giuliani accident last month because his he's putting too much "divorced man" energy into the making of Borat 3

The funniest thing about this is even if you took away his fascist xenophobia, could you imagine calling this man a national treasure? He's a bulbous, horrific looking man. He's just awful to look at. He scares all children and he sounds like he's always drunk off of rum-and-olive-oils

Trump is so pissed he has to go to the funeral today. He's trying to get out of it, but his aides are telling him he has to go. He's fuming.

Weird Al slamming his fist down on his desk; he just can't crack "You Can Call Me Al"

Just called my wife "the next ranking family member" of our household and it went surprisingly well.

NEW CONSPIRACY THEORY JUST DROPPED: Sacha Baron Cohen caused the Rudy Giuliani accident last month because his he's putting too much "divorced man" energy into the making of Borat 3

the rice awards should be ashamed of themselves, giving BASMATI the lifetime achievement award. BASMATI doesn't need a lifetime achievement like its career is over. Like BASMATI isn't doing some CAREER BEST work in damn 2025

At the gyro spit slurping slices like spaghetti