james lipton IS shia labeouf IN curtis sliwa: renegade angel

I don’t like the GenZ expression “Mid.” But I do think it’s perfect for describing Edward Cabrera

i think that babies should have to file tax returns under penalty of law. hear more on my daily video series And I Can’t Even! that costs $8,000 to produce per episode and that people have only ever seen by accident

Who the fuck would watch this lol?

Oh.

Not to make EVERYTHING political, but the Democrats need to learn this

lol I was like, “ARE they related?” and Google’s AI summary says they are sometimes thought to be because they are “comparable in height.” Quinta is famously 4’11”

NOT NEWS

I am very tired of the stupid-savvy 'oh you think politicians were honest before Donald Trump' take, like yes there has in fact been a qualitative change in the way modern american politics have been conducted that is largely attributable to him, and is bad.

It’s a great joke but I don’t think it tops “No you don’t, Oprah” in pure construction

Idk why everyone is freaking out just cuz we can't grow shit to eat in the US and what we can grow (sugar, chatbots that tell u to kill yourself) is siphoning off so much water that even the wettest place in the US is on fire

It is not hyperbolic to say this is one of the worst weeks in American history

Well the Cubs lost 3 straight after their first 10 game winning streak and then won 10 more in a row. So……

hopefully this belated trial will deter other wrongdoers from bombing the U.S.S. Cole

where is john roberts to tell us that this is just one of those apolitical, unpopular decisions the court has to make sometimes?

This is absolutely outrageous. SCOTUS reinstated Texas gerrymander 15 weeks before primary because they claimed it was too close to election to block it but now allowing Alabama to gerrymander one week before primary after trial court found map was intentionally discriminatory against Black voters

What’s a step above The Hague? Super Hague?

Went thru the entire site and not a single mention of paid family leave, childcare, or vaccines.

I couldn’t be a sports announcer because when I was supposed to be like “Ask AI who to bet all your money on using BetBoys!!!” I would not do that.

Surely they've suffered enough?

One of the worst takes I'm seeing online is (in response to supposedly too-woke casting of Nolan's THE ODYSSEY) is that the Brad Pitt TROY movie is good. It is NOT good.

Yeesh Moises

Giants selling? Jed - go buy low on Logan Webb, dude

The Cubs are the 5th team in MLB history with multiple distinct win streaks of 10+ games before their 40th decision of a season, joining: 1955 Dodgers 1941 Cardinals 1887 St. Louis Browns 1880 Chicago White Stockings (now Cubs) h/t @EliasSports

this is the closest I've ever come to actually suggesting a "one neat trick" suggestion for anything, but I'm so serious here. the Virginia Constitution gives the legislature the power to set retirement ages for judges "REGARDLESS OF THE TERM TO WHICH ELECTED OR APPOINTED." make it 54 right now.

TGIF Thank God It's Forty-eight hours until a friendly reporter drops optimistic news about the Iran War ending just hours before markets open.

Me: So this is the Dallas metropolitan area? Dallas Resident: Actually we call it the METROPLEX. Me: posts that meme of Robert Downey Jr. where I guess he's rolling his eyes but it kind of looks like he's cumming, no?

*To the tune of "Let's Get Loud" by J.Lo* THAT'S BEN BROWN

You just KNOW Jacob Misiorowski laughs like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel

Not sure how exactly, but this *feels* like a recession indicator

We've reached the point where one party has so obliterated the rule of law that everyone else continuing to abide by it will only hasten the end of our democracy. That's a recipe for chaos and violence. It's terrifying, and I don't know what we do about it.

I'm sorry to say, but I have to designate the Virginia Supreme Court as my PUSSY ASS BITCHES OF THE DAY

My ass just saw a commercial for dang Starbursts 😏

The Cubs win but they don't walk it off

Okay, but have you considered DePaul?

- power - speed - national league

Oscar Robertson now needs to be in the booth for every game. Sorry!

The Cubs? Yeah, I fuck with them

Hanta? I don't wanta!

lol why is Oscar Robertson on the Cubs game?

God, Alex Cohen is rough. Seems like a nice guy, but man.

I'm very disappointed to AGAIN not get any videos of the Reds' announcers calling the last three walk-off losses. WHAT'S THE POINT OF ALGORITHMIC FEEDS IF THEY DON'T GIVE ME REDS AGONY!?

Why not just make the whole plane out of walkoffs?

No way

Fuck it. Name the eagle ABOLISH ICE too

Hilarious photo

Man fuck this shit

the vibes were getting too good. can't have that in Trump's America

RIP to the last, and maybe only, leftist billionaire