It’s on sight with Sarandos fils

Much like God appearing to Moses in the form of a burning bush, he also came to me in the form of TV 3 at my Planet Fitness telling me of a journey I must take.

This is an image from Death Stranding.

‘Marty Supreme’ Director Explains Film Slight Dramatization Of Real-Life LeBron James https://theonion.com/marty-supreme-director-explains-film-slight-dramatization-of-real-life-lebron-james/

Posting a video of her hitting another woman in the stomach with a frying pan and starting her post off with “For all the moms out there” froze me in my tracks.

It would be so fucking funny if they were just talking about two Christmases ago.

It may sound radical, but if one guy has so much wealth and power that he can use the large newspaper he owns to publicly threaten to ruin a service we all rely on, presumably as a bargaining tactic to get lower rates, we probably need to tax that guy until he can't do that anymore.

Seems like every tech bro at a certain point is just like "yeah we don't have to pretend we care about humanity anymore"

Incognito Mode Wrapped

Spotify Wrapped Day? You mean when Henry Kissinger died?

I'm sure every streaming music service does terrible shit, but there are cheaper services not bloated with AI slop that pay artists more and don't run ICE ads. #SpotifyWrapped

ekko astral’s #spotifywrapped message for 2025. thank you AI for all you bring to us!

Congratulations to the Duffer Brothers for having a successful TV show despite being named that.

Ad guy here: this actually isn’t a mistake. Much like creative and brand departments, agencies have vomit guy departments.

It’s insane how it took show runners this long to realize casting Tim Meadows makes your series 1000x better.

I don’t hate CM Punk, but him getting beat on a mat that says “Riyadh Season” is so incredibly funny.

FINALLY!!

“If our intestines were square, our poop would look way different.” and other phrases to fill in silence this Thanksgiving.

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

Iwona B. Actyn

Since tuna is the chicken of the sea, I call turkey the swordfish of the land.

Instead of arguing about politics, this holiday season we should all sit our Boomer parents down and explain the lore of Death Stranding.

American politics ✨

The Chair Company has the highest incidence of "sentences that have never been said before" in all of modern media

Not beating the “Everyone is 12” allegations.

My favorite sign I saw at Full Gear, held up when Toni and Mina were making their entrances #AEW

This is the most beautiful South Dakota aesthetic I’ve seen

Amazing incorrect lyrics on the karaoke machine yesterday

I’ve gotta horse like a racepiss

There’s an all-timer bit in this episode where Boomhauer and Bob Dylan incoherently ramble to each other, and it kills me every time. And then you realize that this was only THE FOURTH EPISODE OF THE SERIES.

NEW: ICE has finally released post-shutdown detention data. The latest data reveals that a full 40%(!) of people arrested in the interior and held in ICE detention have no criminal record; no criminal charges or prior convictions. That is up from just 4% when Trump took office.

What To Know About ‘Pluribus’ https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-pluribus/

There it is

There should be a biopic about the person who has to dry clean the mustard stains out of the president’s suits.

Downside: You’re going to jail. Upside: Warden’s throwing a party.

If I had a prominent Twitter account, I would make an official-sounding tweet saying something like, “BREAKING: Critical thinking skills are on steep decline according to Reuters.” just to see how many ask grok if it’s real.

im fucking crying dawg

Yes! More performative, strongly-worded letters without the threat of any actual change!

Jodie! Please tell us your birthday wish.

Imagining RFK Jr singing this to himself in the kitchen as he cuts up manatee meat to make for dinner.

It’s been a minute since we’ve seen a good video of someone getting Richard Spencer’d.

CHESTER BENNINGTON (chorus) I'm Elmo's 𝗗𝗔𝗗 I'm tall and 𝗥𝗘𝗗 MIKE SHINODA (quietly) Tall and red all the time still I can't believe the son is mine

Is there anyone else named Argyle or is it just that guy from Die Hard?

One of the more important threads I’ve seen.

i grew beyond the need for philosophy books long ago. i have watched the entirety of The Good Place twice.

POV: you are a young woman celebrating a recent academic success

Former Army Sniper Struggling To Readjust To Being Near Stuff https://theonion.com/former-army-sniper-struggling-to-readjust-to-being-near-stuff/