Somewhere in hell a demon holding a hot poker is being told "Don't worry, those just my lil ladybugs"

Hope everyone enjoys the football. I'm going to sit in the garden with a beer and see if I can hear Iron Maiden at Knebworth from across the fields.

Across the political spectrum commentators and hand-wringers plead with women to accept misery and unequal burdens in relationships instead of reckoning with how we have crossed a point of no return in how we talk about gender, sex and the supposed inevitability of the heterosexual family structure.

While it's amusing to watch Nigel Farage squirm for a change, it's really depressing how clear it is they could have taken him down any time but he has been too useful to them.

You are kurwa so stupid.

I need to write a machine learning algo that finally cracks the problem of filtering out all football chat on social media. I love my moots and follows, but I am so tired of hearing about the ball games they like and I bet they are sick of me moaning about it too!

I’d like to wish senior Trump officials a very happy 250th fuck off and mind your own business

🚨 WE NEED YOU 🚨 As a new Prime Minister comes into power, we want to show that an overwhelming number of people support trans people, and want the government to take serious action to protect their rights. Will you say you stand with trans people? And share with everyone you know?

Surprising move by the government to increase the quality of housing provided to asylum seekers etc etc

Report: That’s Enough Soccer For Now https://theonion.com/report-thats-enough-soccer-for-now/

even if it was good policy, this shit is completely ancillary to the goal of actually limiting the power of big tech. Elon Musk has a trillion dollars and is trying to start a global race war, your response to that can’t be “kids should be on their phones less”

NEW: Shabana Mahmood has appointed the ghost of Roland Freisler to oversee the new People's Courts.

Just perfect

Cinemas are a ripoff

Do any of you have a website or feed or anything like that where you go to see new music releases? A trusted source on things to check out?

Plus side to the ban for kids in yr 12/13 - can make a tidy sum charging a few quid to pose for account verification selfies for the kids in KS3/4

We must remove the cancer that is the US military from our territory.

Whatever you do, don’t plant lots and lots and lots of bamboo 🎋🎍 very very very close to as many data centers as you can find. It will damage foundations, wrap around underground cooling pipes, and cause severe facility damage.

Andy Bumham

Capitalism forcing you to be capitalist is the definition of an abusive relationship, if it wasn't obvious already.

Absolutely No One Should Go Without Food…. “Food isn’t a human right.” Holy crap, then why did we even bother developing agriculture and civilization? Are we really making enough food for everyone just to let some people starve?”

Please be safe, everyone.

I said something similar a decade ago, and now I get through two pallets of evaporated milk a month...

Just asking this question is a failure by the BBC.

the british 'state' does not exist, cannot fund anything, cannot fix anything and certainly cannot create anything for the future and the prime minister's main job is to be a sin eater to absorb the public's hate while the ruling class rip more copper from the walls and ban complaining about it

Entering her Sephiroth era by casting Firaga on the whole UK

Ok, everyone. Goal for the next PM is to see if we can bully them into committing frisbee-seppuku as described in the Real Ultimate Power tutorial www.realultimatepower.net/ninja/seppuk...

On the BBC they’ve got a camera waiting for Burnham on the platform at Euston and the journalist said “there’s a lot of speculation about what he might be wearing, will it be his usual t-shirt?” and I think it’s nice to live in a joke country.

I don't feel sorry for Starmer. I feel for the Palestinians whose slaughter he enabled, for the trans people and refugees he's victimised, and my colleagues who've had their careers wrecked by Labour's assault on universities. A record to be ashamed of.

Who cut the cheese?

"trans existence is criminalized", in the UK. The Lemkin Institute for Genocide Prevention has spoken. www.lemkininstitute.com/statements-n...

My Grandad is convinced a seagull called Sally has been stalking him since the 70s because he destroyed her nest. Although it sounds mad I secretly believe him, especially after I took him for lunch & a seagull swooped at his head & he shouted back "when will this end Sally?"

I am looking for 12,000 friends

Andy Serkis should call one of his kids Notmymonkeysnotmy

Never forget how much almost the entire media class tried to sell this authoritarian dork to you as some sort of managerial competence superstar

The architect of Labour’s cruel plans on settled status and persecution of free speech and protest stays in place. More of the same. Only the Greens can take on failing Labour in Greater Manchester. www.thetimes.com/uk/politics/...

The thing is, Meloni is the real deal. A serious fascist elevated from the street movement, a true believer. Trump is a chaotic dabbler and narcissist. The movement is nothing to him, only the glory. It's no wonder she sees him as an embarrassment and a fool.

Ok, so not only would we not be sending a shitload of money to the Yanks to buy weapons that don't work, they would also remove their occupying forces from our territory and fuck off back to their stolen country? Sounds like there's no downside to me.

It's so funny how the chuds are always going on about how dangerous and scary London is, meanwhile for those of us who go there regularly it has become so blandly sanitised that half the fun has gone out of a London night out. Just an endless sea of posh yahyahs with zero edge: BORING.

Labour’s plan for growth. More gambling, more addiction, more devastation to household finances. Utter shambles.

Yeah yeah yeah it is trite to compare this to 1984 but like a fucking panopticon. Your every act monitored, controlled. Your entire sexuality needing state approval. Fucking hell. It is not a nanny state. It is surveillance. It is all surveillance. Why the fuck is it **always** surveillance

Europe must prioritize tying virgins to coastal rocks over its immediate climate ambitions or risk surrendering its virgin sovereignty to China, the president of the European Kraken Association has said.

Paedocon theory remains undefeated.

Salmon in any form. Ghastly.

Al Carnd glows brighter than a hotel duvet under a blacklight.

we're becoming a literal police state. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...

Chris Morris had the measure of this prat 30yrs ago.

This could be excellent news for one of Britain's dying industries: the last few sellers of cheap amphetamine paste will be rejoicing this morning.

Norman Stanley Fletcher, you have pleaded guilty to the charges brought by this court, and it is now my duty to pass sentence. You are 15 and have a Pinterest. We therefore feel constrained to commit you to the maximum term allowed for these offences: you will go to prison for five years.