Men, what’s preventing you from looking like this

Not me developing fond at 10am on weekday when I’m supposed to be working from home 🙈

The Bradley Cooper as Leonard Bernstein movie really pulled one over on me by setting expectations at "insanely stupid" then impressing by being merely "quite stupid"

I’ve really appreciated those posts. “We are going to win” is not just fun online talk - it is the most fundamental, narrative 101, tone-setting stuff a movement needs, tactically, to win. We want to be on the winning team. We push harder when the goal is in sight. We make the story the reality.

Big Pappa from RHOA is like Keyser Söze meets V for Vendetta to me. He could be any of us or none of us.

We need a bigger national spotlight on this building raid, fam. Agents dropped from helicopters onto the roof. Citizens and non-citizens alike were dragged from their homes in the night. People who weren't kidnapped during the raid had their belongings seized after the fact. This is madness.

Making an easy weeknight dinner in the instant pot and watching Survivor with the wifey? Ummm yes one ticket for tonight, please !! ☝️

For 7 years, Mayor Frey has lied. He lied about no-knock warrants and Amir Locke died. He lied and said there were only 27 unhoused people in the city—facts prove him wrong. He even vetoed the Uber/Lyft wage bill after vowing to support it. Minneapolis needs a leader, not a liar.

Helpfully informing the cat that scratching her ear with a hind paw is dog coded

I’ll edit a group dm for typos even if doing so is not “chill” I don’t give a FUcK

I was back at 26 Federal Plaza today, where an ICE agent violently threw this bereft woman to the ground in front of her kids. She had not touched him. She did not pose any threat. She had to be taken to the hospital. (🎥: Elias Eliahu)

Omigodomigodomigod it’s a real book and everything. On sale October 14th!

Meticulously arranging the utensils in the upper tray so that none are obstructed and the dirtiest surfaces see the most water. Conforming to the rows of the rack when possible but often employing radical compound angles. (Form follows function!) Few are as capable at this..

"Hotdish" should be the term for MN gossip

Again Bouie from the top rope

Turing off my parasocial friends the Go Off Kings in disgust after years of loyal viewing when JF claims Greek doesn’t crack the top 25 best cuisines. I’m even open to the argument but claiming Italian-American ranks higher?? Get real.

People who think they're gonna get somewhere by sending me passive aggressive or demanding emails have no idea what they're in for. Just a solid brick wall of courtesy and calm, methodical problem solving. The least flappable person in the world? Not for me to say, but if the shoe fits....

I’m helping raise money for a family in Gaza by raffling off some really nice donated vintage X-Files shirts. Details here: tinyurl.com/XFilesRaffle

Getting first amendment audited by the cat

Might fuck around and pick up some orthotic heel wedges to correct supination (underpronation)

You may not like that it takes 100 years to pass some watered down social welfare program because of the constitution but that's also what protects us from dictatorship [some dumb slob does dictatorship in 6 months]

[Guy who's experiencing all of this the first time just like you, but reads slightly different posts] Listen kid,

I love to show up every day for my job, which is standing around holding the front of my tactical vest and getting told to choke to death by thousands of passers-by while 11 of my coworkers handcuff a roofer on his way to work. Every night I drive 80 minutes home, thinking about nothing at all.

I’m ordering an immediate halt to the judging of the Burien UFO Festival costume contest until we can figure out what’s going on #stopthesteal

Lotta keyboard warriors in their moms basement suggesting Mayor Bowser cut her jaunt to Martha’s Vineyard short due to current events 🙄

This is amazing but as a guy…the kind of guy who takes 45 bags of groceries in one trip, arms going numb, I’m gonna want more babies. Really baby that fuckin thing up. I don’t wanna make two trips.

People are being forced out of DC. The cost of living is too high, and Trump is waging an all-out assault on the District. It should be easier and more affordable to build a life here. That's why I’m running for DC Council in Ward 1. Join us: aparnafordc.com/donate

Today is an especially good day to support the mutual aid work Remora House and @dcmigrantmutualaid.org are doing to take care of unhoused and migrant community members in DC, if you're looking for somewhere to pitch in.

office millennial: Hey there! Sorry for the random slack: I got your name from Jen in Operations and was wondering if you had any documentation about the Jira integration. Not urgent!! gen-x coworker using a picture of dante hicks from clerks as their profile picture: Um.  I will see what I can do…

Watching the suggested auto-complete phrases blink in and out of existence as I type a message in Outlook. Here's an alternate version of me who says stuff like, "Hope you have a great weekend!" in an email to a vendor. Now he's dead

In a stunning moment of carnal desire, my calculator said “BOOBIE5”

I am incredibly honored to be the DFL endorsed candidate for Minneapolis Mayor. This endorsement is a message that Minneapolis residents are done with broken promises, vetoes, and politics as usual. It’s a mandate to build a city that works for all of us. fatehformayor.com/donate

What’s up gang

You either die a shitposter or live long enough to become a reddit dullard

Any stagnant elder millennial boys chat can be revived by posting "since when do video games cost $80 😓".. then just sit back and let the chopping it up commence

Hitting a big relationship milestone tn (forcing the wifey to watch Heat)

This is a distraction [dies in nuclear war].

T.D. sighting

“Special thanks to our sponsor: Coinbase”

probably something to be aware of that the FBI is arresting people for distributing masks

Pulitzer prize for this Jay L. Clenendin image of LAPD stormtroopers in front of Barbara Kruger's "Untitled (Questions)"

🚨URGENT ACTION ALERT: Tell Congress to keep their hands off DC’s sanctuary laws! Since the residents of DC do not have representation, we need your help to stop them. Email and call TODAY (6/9): actionnetwork.org/letters/tell...

Guillam, excitedly: You see, George, an Omega can be impregnated regardless of their primary gender Smiley: (nodding languidly) Yes, I see Guillam: An alpha, on the other hand, can impregnate but not be impregnated. The ultimate contrast to the Omegas! Smiley: Certainly. And the betas too, I suppose

One thing I think we can he done with is those tables where they fill in irregular shaped wood with ugly colored resin

A Saturday morning ‘tata

i’ve been mumbling this to myself for hours

sous vide chicken, lemon butter sauce, pea shoots, smashed potatoes