Not to be A Dad but the tomatoes really needed this rain

that’s kind of worse

they get to talk their shit, them’s the breaks

we’ve had a bad day, just consider it

Got farther than Italy tho

Pulisic ads airing right after that: quite funny, actually

thanks for being briefly fun boys but uh

The technical term for getting beaten soundly by Belgium in soccer is “getting waffle housed.”

Andres Cantor doesn’t deserve this

not even Balogun willing to shoot, this is fucking embarrassing

he found out about Mitch

can’t be totally out of ideas if you didn’t have any to begin with

pausa de hidratación

The Brazil 7-1 thing was terrible but they're not as much of a soccer nation as we are. This is worse

At least McConnell isn’t alive to see this

oh god are we England now

Jesus fucking Christ

this is better but if they can’t do this before Belgium throws on the big lads that might be it

POCH THIS WASN’T SERIOUS

I’m just kidding Poch doesn’t know about subs

well that was ass

yikes

USMNT has pledged to win this one "for Mitch"

Maybe it’ll happen tonight

Hold on. Didn’t Balogun get a red card against Bosnia? Or am I misremembering

troubling ........ not content to simply get Folarin Balogun back from his red card suspension, the FOX desk is talking about how the USA playing in Seattle will provide them a "12th man" in tonight's game tonight. this of course would be a massive breach of FIFA rules and regulations

Cristiano Ronaldo still has zero goals from open play in World Cup knockout matches his whole career

This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of Ronaldo, it will soon see the end of Platner.

oh thank God

gonna be ridiculous if France doesn't win this tournament tbh

Why yes, that’s a Spain fan air guitarring an inflatable Iberico ham leg. How can you not be romantic about the World Cup.

I have frequently thought about just making a huge list of every legislative fix that needs to happen on day 1 and this is near the top

At last, I am truly seen

We could replace a sex pest with Cristiano Ronaldo! Oh hold on wait I’m getting in a report…

oyyyyyarzabal

Sad Ronaldo unites the world. Give us the healing we need.

<clears throat> assuming the USMNT are the only international soccer team to benefit from FIFA corruption is yet another example of centering the imperialist American experience at the expense of the rest of the world. learn about FIFA's proud global history of shady dealings. do the work!

Say what you will but it’s very funny that this has happened for a game against Belgium, the country whose primary export is rules

great movie about how Belgium is a bleak purgatory that makes people yearn for death

one of the funniest things sports organizations do is decide "yes i am a real judge, here is my book of civil procedure that governs my courtroom"

Josh is right and should say it. Thinking it is doing Trump's bidding specifically is not only mistaken, it's a positive hindrance to any meaningful reckoning with the Court's power and why it is bad for democracy. When Trump is gone, it will still be bad for democracy.

oh hell yeah we’re all using the Balogun thing to confirm our priors about people from other countries that’s the good stuff

Every soccer match should be followed by appeals of each foul. That is the only way soccer can become more like appellate litigation, which I understand to be the goal of all.

yeah I don’t really get why Belgium thinks that’s a slam dunk argument

it was a clear red

tired: Americanizing football with commercial break wired: Americanizing football with mid-tournament litigation

the duel being Mexico against Mexico’s chance of scoring

jordan pickford outplayed people, everyone should be ashamed of themselves

my implacable hatred didn’t die for this

Somebody use this time wisely and go get the Elgin marbles