hey re: world historic events, just let me know if somethin changes. i'm not interested in stuff that almost happened or whatever. im busy

Accidentally swallowed some distinctly sour/off kefir, so this should be an interesting evening I guess

I might have messed up my sleep schedule

Fleas can jump 200 times their height & 150 times their length. The human equivalent would be the ability to jump over the Eiffel Tower. Let's talk about the specialized super-protein behind their leaps: RESILIN. (📷: Gregory Sutton, Univ of Lincoln, UK)

I'm not sure if eating an entire mango and having a third cup of coffee will fix all my problems, but I'm willing to give it a try

You have to hand it to them.

Misread a description online and I find myself with 2 slightly too large orchid pots. Do I: 1- use the slightly too large pots 2- get smaller pots & use this as an excuse to get new orchids 3- get the right sized pots, keep the wrong sized pots for when the inevitable happens and I buy more orchids

I was going to grill tonight but felt clean and didn't want to get smoky also there are evening thunderstorms. So I bought something else to cook on the stove, and now as I understand it, I'm going to have to cook it?!?! Madness

I'm about halfway to my goal of covering Liora's tail biopsy! If there's anything you've been eyeing on my site, now's your chance. 🦎💎

I need to stop clenching my teeth I am literally cracking them and it is ruining my life

Attempting to take a mini micro 20 minute nap to fortify me for getting ready for bed. Let's hope I don't fall asleep for hours because I'm on a beanbag chair, I was walking too much today and this shit is not ergonomic at all

Every time I see a rabbit, I think, "fuck, I love bunnies" I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

"the R slur is coming back" not within slapping distance of me it's not

If you or a loved one has been convicted of seditious conspiracy, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

As tick season ramps up, keep in mind importance of preserving any tick that attaches. In theory, a tick not engorged cannot pass on disease, but there can still be infection and for peace of mind I always send them to the Tick Report. Testing is fast and not that expensive. 1/2 www.tickreport.com

Hah I'm immune because even though I'm better now I was raised to have such a shitty self image that my reflexive reaction to any compliment is deep suspicion and dismissal

Unfortunately I think I'm going to have to lock in today

Incredible brain fog today. Feels like my skull is packed with silly putty. Hasn't happened in a while but it really fucking sucks. I wonder why this is happening today

Also the next somebody says reparations for black people is a ridiculous idea, remind them that we have a reparations program for trying to overthrow the government

“Who’s this dumbass” - the phrase that always immediately precedes obsession

I am once again begging, praying, weeping for lists of written instructions rather than videos. I do not want to watch your two minute video in the hope of catching the two seconds where you whizz past what goddamn menu the thing is under. Write. It. Down.

you can mix megan thee stallion into any song and make it better video by jaysonwithawhyy on TikTok

Just finished reading a weird and bad fanfic. At the end it said, "I hope you enjoyed it!" And I laughed out loud and said that I did not. But I still read the whole thing

I haven't really done dishes in earnest since Friday morning. Pros: my leg feels much better than it has been Cons: the sink is full full of dirty dishes 🫠

When I feel hopeless, I never feel angry, I feel sad. When I'm angry I know something can and should be better. I've dragged myself out of feeling hopeless more times than I can remember by getting pissed about it.

still not quite over the fact that i watched 15 year olds get sued for millions of dollars for downloading twelve songs and now we all have to accept AI slop because every tech company in the known universe decided that IP laws don't exist now that they're inconvenient for them

I should start calling the kids "chat"; I bet they'll love that

"This fairly simple and straightforward task fills me with anxiety. I'd better put it off for 2 weeks then eat 2000 calories about it once I finally do it"

Please listen closely, as our menu options have changed. To be connected to a bot that will just annoy you and not help, press 1. To be connected to a bot that will just annoy you and not help, press 2. To be connected to a bot that will just annoy you and not help, press 3. To be connected to a bot

Parasites

Just tried plugging a USB c into the wall and an electric plug into my phone so yeah, the day is going phenomenally and I'm well rested

Felt myself falling asleep watching a crappy show and instead of making myself more comfortable, I got up, brushed my teeth, and got in bed ⭐️ gold star for the functional passing adult

I ate nutritional yeast for the first time yesterday and my mouth hasn't felt right since I eat yogurt and bread and used to drink beer without a problem. Can I really have a sensitivity to yeast!?!?! Feels sort of like I ate a pineapple

"they're here to kill us all" - strong words from the country's most brain dead senator, a highly-coveted and hotly-contested title

There’s no medical reason to reduce the use of SSRIs just for the sake of doing so. They save countless lives daily, including mine. The HHS preoccupation with reducing their use is an intentional misdirection away from the true problems facing mental health: the world they’ve created is unlivable.

(I was the original creator of this)

i am once again begging some major porn studio to take up the mantle of larry flynt and start bribing senators again

I don't say anything because I'm not a completely horrible bitch, but I have to admit that I am finding it increasingly irritating to hear my husband complain feeling old and achey when I have been dealing with a surgery-necessitating knee injury since February.

another all-time tweet I am constantly thinking about

In the home stretch of this fuckawful day I can do it

you will all have to pry this "ABSOLUTELY GO FUCK YOURSELF, MARJORIE, YOU HATEFUL ANTISEMITIC RACIST HOMOPHOBIC DEMON, YOUR CALCULATED ANTI-TRUMP PIVOT TO POSITION YOURSELF FOR A 2028 GOP PRIMARY CHALLENGE DOES NOT FOOL ME BECAUSE I HAVE MORE THAN TWO BRAIN CELLS" sign out of my cold dead hands

A third cup of coffee will probably solve all my problems, especially the mounting feeling of dread and anxiety I'm experiencing currently

may i interest you in some ethics? no? how about some scruples. smallsheds.garden/blog/2026/on...

i am tired of having to listen to dumb assholes just because they have a lot of money

Currently in the throes of The Song. I have been listening to the same song for hours for a few days now. I will probably continue to do so. Sometimes I take a break and listen to some other songs, but then it's back to The Song.

Actually you know what, let me just