maybe gravity is actually a repulsive force arising within clouds of overlapping quantum event horizons due to particles expanding outward through the smeary trees of individual experiences of all of reality… maybe we fall to earth because every nearby particle's existence is exploding into us

don't optimize your kids' childhood. please. it's not worth it. their additional earnings, if any exist, will absolutely all go to therapy in the BEST timeline

what if the gop is trying to have trump assassinated but they're out of money so instead of hiring assassins competent enough to get past the secret service they're picking random gun-toting republicans

After a long day of trying to catch the roadrunner, I sure am hungry, that's why it's great to come home and cook a delicious meal from this video's sponsor, HelloFresh..

For the animorph fans

The unrelenting progress of eyes like a flood of molasses, like bitumen, like a whole whole world slowly choking. It began on your left cheek after a bad break up, the eyelid tore your skin and you saw (it was beautiful). The pile of dirty clothes and dirty dishes by the bed was almost part of you:

authentication service that runs an instance of you who loves to sit around thinking about passwords all day long

sometimes you just have to tell it to them straight

"You'll regret this!" "Maybe. Eventually. Right now I want to and would do it a few more times please."

Whether it’s tattoos or piercings or gender affirming care or intentionally changing our reproductive status (or anything else), we make ourselves. Change is the rule so we may as well embrace all it means.

Additional -7 MILLION- pounds of meat and poultry recalled on top of the original recall's 200k pounds. www.fsis.usda.gov/recalls-aler...

community is built on shared ideals, not shared oppression. you cannot allow the people who hate you to decide who you are allied with.

Show the world your true form. You would look great with antlers. You would look great as a gnarled oak in the meadow. You would look great as an ancient creature of moss, shambling about in the gloom.

one of the most annoying things about watching the olympics is listening to the star spangled banner

"I got a boil on my butt like a big red apple" "How did you know I lance boils??" wtf lmao

You know what you should do? When there's an artist you like, buy their shit and then when their shit is AMAZING, buy more of their shit to give to your friends.

there are some quotes that just stick with us for some reason "[Ron] got up in the middle of a review board meeting and started drawing an organizational chart of heaven on the blackboard. At the top goes God, who we'll call "Big Daddy." Ron's eating soft food in a soft room now."

The election in a nutshell.

Girls be like: I think that through the cloudiness of his insanity he saw some antagonism in me, for he at once fell back on the last refuge of such as he--a dogged silence. After a short time I saw that for the present it was useless to speak to him. He was sulky, and so I came away.

the bee pussy prophecy

is frog in smokey and the bandit (1977) a manic pixie dream girl?

this is half of why we don't have DMs, someone might message us and we're absolutely horrible at communicating with anyone… it's not that we don't want to get to know anyone or have friends, we just don't want anyone to have unrealistic expectations the other half is using the pretty app icon still

i want to add: if you’ve stopped masking for whatever reason, you can start again. it makes spaces more accessible, it helps preserve your health and the health of the people around you. it’s a tiny action you can take to make the world safer.

you are not a "secret third thing" you are a deer, in spring. antlers soft. bloody, standing at the edge of a clearing that has thawed before the rest of the forest. you contain very little. no ideas. no thoughts. no intentions. you are a body. you will carry the flame another year. or, you will try

looking forward to giving our computer The Surgery soon (installing a dvd drive)

digital cameras today work the same way, they just chopped each frame up into millions of tiny little collections of a few colors instead of having entire separate frames for each of the colors

Girls be like: “We are in Transylvania; and Transylvania is not England. Our ways are not your ways, and there shall be to you many strange things. Nay, from what you have told me of your experiences already, you know something of what strange things there may be.”

"average person has microplastics in their dick and balls" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person accumulates 0 microplastics per year. Silicones Georg, who lives in her goon cave & injects a half pound of plastic each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

the trolley problem except there's just one track and we keep piling more people on it for fuck knows what reason

AU where the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar is a bunch of trans folks on a roadtrip in an RV

life didn't used to be simpler you were just privileged enough to not have to think about the complex stuff and now you can't ignore it anymore

hey could someone please tell us to get off our ass and go see Furiosa?

🎵GIRL DINNER

that feeling when you would love to spend three evenings seeing the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy at the theater (but what you absolutely don't want is to go do that alone)

You can ask us anything. We're an open book. The book:

ever changing, never quite human, often unrecognisably so

we started with dragons like a lot of people but we enjoyed the cats more we tolerate the angel example we've run into but it's far from a favourite

If you don’t like Psionics in fantasy you’re boring and deeply uncurious about the genre.

It would be so funny to buy info wars and turn it into the best independent news site on the internet

(LIVE) through the ditches and (LAUGH) through the witches and (LOVE) in the back of my draguuuulaaaaa

a plexiglass box on the bus labeled “free masks”, empty

we enjoyed Monkey Man so fucking much, and this is only one reason why