On a @thomasha.bsky.social kick lately, and read "In My Country" this morning. Despite reading the title in Yakov Smirnoff's voice, it was excellent, still rattling around in my brain. May have to add "Uncertain Sons" to my giant pile of books begging to be read in the corner of my room.

the sandwich guy walking away from the court house and suddenly, his limp disappears

Every once in a while I have to remind myself this is entirely normal.

They say you can indict a ham sandwich, but good luck getting a conviction www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...

Imagine “struck by a sandwich in 2025” being the first line of your obituary

Live, Laugh, Laws

My latest Patreon post is live. It's got some life updates, and for paid supporters, it has a snippet from my upcoming book, Ex Partum (coming soon from @atthisarts.com). www.patreon.com/posts/140919... #scifi #specfic #booksky

As a Dodgers fan, I literally feel like Sarah Connor at the end of the first Terminator. That’s how good the Blue Jays were. Like we won but I’m so traumatized I’m going to lose custody of my son because I trained him to shoot weapons in Nicaragua and I’ll end up in a max cell at Pescadero

idea for an alternate history show: British imperialism never changed or fell. the East India Company remains mighty today. they created the first powerful processed opiates and use them to maintain control over their far flung colonies title: The Sun Never Percocets on the British Empire

Last night my 9-year-old showed me his first essay. I gave him notes. Today he got home and said, "I’ll finish it myself. I didn’t like your edits.” When I burst out laughing, he asked, “Is that the first time a writer’s been honest with you?”

F. Scott Fitzgerald: In my book I invented Gatsby lifestyle as a cautionary tale The president: At long last, we have created the Gatsby lifestyle from the classic novel The Great Gatsby

@molotovlitzine.bsky.social's"Flash Monster" issue features my prize winning story about a man feeling motherly towards his parasite (read after eating, not before) @mlenoirbond.bsky.social and Josh always feature fantastic work-- can't wait to consume it all! themolotovcocktail.com/vol-16/flash...

Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off

After a sleepless night with a toddler, placing 3rd in @molotovlitzine.bsky.social’s Flash Monster competition was better than any cup of coffee. Can’t wait to read everyone’s pieces when the issue drops tomorrow!

Democracy of Theseus: apnews.com/article/trum...

Parents, please check your kids’ candy this Halloween. I’ve just found an ancient metal whistle with the inscription “QUIS EST ISTE QUI VENIT" inside a Snickers bar. I blew it and heard a note of infinite distance, and now I’m haunted by a figure in pale, fluttering draperies. Be safe.

They got the jewels, but we have their ladder.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. One for practice and the other one is the "main" grave.

Every once in a while a group of 10-15 tourists vanish without a trace in the Paris Catacombs and then afterward the Eiffel Tower is a few feet taller

Man in my gym smashing out bench presses in tartan pyjamas and birkenstocks. Living for this fucks/reps ratio

“I made-a this pizza special for you!” in every mafia movie, except it’s my toddler talking about her poop.

Translunar Traveler's Lounge is open for speculative fiction, 5000 words and under. Please check the guidelines before submitting, but other than that, don't self-reject. translunartravelerslounge.com/submissions/

[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit

very excited for it to be that time of year when i contract a mysterious illness from my children.

my daughter really captured my essence in this portrait of me “at work”

APRIL - 1805 NAPOLEON IS MASTER OF EUROPE ONLY THE BRITISH FLEET STANDS BEFORE HIM THERE IS NOTHING IN NAVAL LAW STATING THAT A GOLDEN RETRIEVER CANNOT SERVE HIS MAJESTY AS CAPTAIN OCEANS ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS

Watching The Sword in the Stone and forgot there was a whole ~10 minute scene where lady squirrels are trying to go to pound town with transfigured Merlin and Arthur

It's not possible for my empire to have problems. My courtiers are always nervously smiling and telling me everything is great

Nothing spells “friendship” like following someone with a cool bumper sticker in an underground parking lot…

The sandwich is now counter-suing for emotional distress

www.nytimes.com/2025/08/27/u... Can’t fire jurors when they do the right thing…

But flag burning is legal according to the Supreme Court I say from my jail cell in Uganda.

farting quizzically

As if the description of crypto entrepreneur weren’t already a red flag, writing in “287k followers • 51 following” below your actual count is just scam-tastic. Blocked.

Time to dig up that lead canister we buried in the cemetery, @adschw.bsky.social

Baby shoes doo-doo-doo-doo-doo Baby shoes doo-doo-doo-doo-doo Baby shoes doo-doo-doo-doo-doo Never worn.

I have this amazing idea for a story, why would I ruin it by writing it

I realize I’m late to the party, but @slashnburnett.bsky.social is solidly in her eco-karma-horror strike zone with this one

It’s settled. If I ever start a journal, I’m naming it Choglit.

Potty training a toddler with peanut butter incentives has led to a dangerous game of “peanut butter or poop?”

I vote we call them “blurts”

Always cool to get featured in @mynachang.bsky.social’s Flash Roundup! This one features one of my favorite @molotovlitzine.bsky.social pieces, “Rattlesnake Mothers Don’t Nurse Their Young.” It’s in really good company!

wigleaf.com/2025longlist... Just found out I’m on this list for my @molotovlitzine.bsky.social piece, “Old Wives’ Tales.” Completely stunned. Thanks @wigleaf.bsky.social, and thanks Molotov Cocktail for giving it a shot in the first place!

Today's community drabble is "If You’re Reading This, You’ve Had a Perfect Survival Rate on All Your Missions " by Colin Alexander. Find Colin at @colincalexander.bsky.social. The theme was "unsolvable." Care to drabble with us? Join the fun at reachyourapex.com/drbl #authors #drabble

with my whole chest, a profound fuck you to anyone setting off fireworks tonight, I hope nothing you love ever loves you back

I love that the only time the US supports feminism and think women should be treated as people is when they want to bomb a country.

Twilight zone marathons

is it time to bust out my "bigfoot is bears" photo collection again? if your mental image of a bear is a thick-furred, fat glossy male bear in autumn, you're probably not prepared for how weird their proportions can look in spring, or when walking upright, like they frequently do.

Sometimes it just makes me angry how well my friend @adschw.bsky.social puts a story together. He's featured in the first issue of Cold Caller, and they're going to have a tough time recreating this sizzle straight out the gate: coldcallermag.substack.com/p/when-thing...