Chat I'm cooked

[reading a book in first person] i dont remember doing any of this

I'm in this picture and I don't like it

Perhaps the true April fools jokes were the friends we made along the way

Can Artemis II dodge the quad laser

Why would I use "AI," I actually know how to fucking write

Why do we call them dog tags instead of Collar ID

I wrote this a while back, but it’s still where I stand.

Nonchalant animal noises This is what the internet is made for 😭😭🤣🤣

Yes yes yes, green jalapeños have a garbage flavor because they're not ripe, serranos are where it's AT

The kid is ready

Got whopped super hard in the forehead with a softball yesterday and I was stunned for a minute Got a big ol goose egg and you can even see the imprint of the stitches on the ball!

How come email marketing can start sending me things immediately but it takes several days to remove me from their email lists

Beauty is stuck behind a paywall Stupid is always free —Cat Valente, “Space Oddity”

Fr tho why is Tapatio the best Dorito flavor

Surprised with a day trip to Filoli, this awesome retirement estate built in the 1920s and donated to the National Registry in the 1970s. Incredibly grounding to just spend time in a beautiful place with someone you love. Thank you, @thependrake.bsky.social <3

Must dooo whatever the lion telllls meeeeeeee

shut the website down, this is the best thing i've read on here since 2023.

Choose your fighter, Mrs. O'Leary's cow or Typhoid Mary

Might be the greatest opening paragraph of anything ever.

Summer cut what what

The Beast’s rose was supposed to bloom until his 21st year, which means that when Belle broke up with him and Gaston attacked his castle, it was his BIRTHDAY

Legit can't think of anything. I don't think my life ever put me in a path where I had a chance to make evil choices. This is who I was always going to be.

I think about Beauty and the Beast way too much

The Beast’s rose was supposed to bloom until his 21st year, which means that when Belle broke up with him and Gaston attacked his castle, it was his BIRTHDAY

Surely no one actually enjoys reading their own books

Every person I know who primarily gets their news from streamers and podcasters is regularly misinformed or uninformed, prone to believing spin, and often leaning hard on doomerism.

as a culture we have really given "ideas" way too much credit. ideas are a dime a dozen. they happen all the time. the magic is way more in the doing, and the doing's diminished stature is linked to lack of respect for labor and, more recently, skill and expertise.

Softball practice today. First real game is next week!

Doctors say that most serious childhood diseases are caused by viruses. A guy who eats dogs and snorts cocaine off toilet seats says they are caused by radiation from 5G cell phone towers. For a busy parent, it can be hard to know who to trust.

I just had the most amazing kumquat of my life, it was straight off the tree and hot from the sun, juicy, and all the sweetness came from the rind and fam it was revelatory

parasociality is indeed such a plague

Happy White People Getting Drunk Because of a Culture Day

DLSS5 on

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

I want you all to consider that perhaps I deserve to get expensive things whether I can afford them or not

Yearly: A movie I liked did not win the award I wanted it to. This is incontrovertible proof of an endemic moral rot from which our society cannot be rescued.

Vince Gilligan sure does love to open tv episodes with someone silently performing an initially mysterious task

I was asked to give my thoughts on generative AI usage in games - here they are!

Finally, I'm too powerful for anyone to dare let me know when I'm making a fatal mistake!

no notes

Day 14, Budward Billiams, a handsome and well regarded young officer. #art #marchhares

"The elves come in peace!" the messenger cried. Thorin scowled and snorted another line of Arkenstone.

Please someone take the letter Q off of Jim Butcher's keyboard so he can't put the word "quietly" in every fucking sentence anymore

Somehow I changed in life from someone who loved being the center of attention but was terrified of being hurt in sports to someone who is fearless in sports but dreads everyone watching him Just bean me so I don't have to be at-bat with everyone looking

*smoosh*

Operation Epic Fury is a stupid name but also an obvious fumble because it's so easy for the haters (me) to insult them by calling it Operation Epic Fail. it's like naming your kid Holden Cox and sending them to public school