I hope the virus gets me quickly and efficiently. #peaceout

SNL got Paul McCartney to say “you can pay…in ass” and that alone should be Emmy-worthy

Cheap Trick's first album gets you right into heaven. Godly

Oh man, this song and album alone would ensure icon status for Jack Douglas—but then there's Get Your Wings, Rocks, Draw the Line, Radio Ethiopia, Muscle of Love, Double Fantasy, the self-titled debuts by Cheap Trick and Zebra… respect.

Airplanes need a mechanism to kick the seat behind you in retaliation

Every airline is gonna become spirit eventually

Ok but I’m still not subscribing to Disney+ 😂

Call me when the NYT is ready for a "12 Bitches Who Were Right about Everything" piece.

OR JUST WRITE THE THING YOURSELF FOR FUCK'S SAKE IT WILL TAKE LESS TIME THAN WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS mashable.com/article/sinc...

When you make ballrooms illegal only illegals will have ballrooms The only way to stop a bad man in a ballroom is a good man with a ballroom

This is so cool

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

Keep going. Save yourself.

Don’t ever fucking complain to us about cancel culture Who the fuck is paying money to see this shit

Imagine humans finding a place where it snows during baseball season months and being like “yeah, this is definitely a place we should build a big city”

My husband and I are having a competition to see who can hide plastic eggs in the hardest spots. Loser has to cook and clean for a week. It’s been three days. He’s currently tearing the garage apart while I watch Netflix. I haven’t hidden a single egg.

A rare piece of good news today #fuckflorida

petition to ban all days that don’t start with an S

But seriously my dead heart came alive for 5 minutes watching this. Rush for-fucking ever.

OMGOMGOMG Can’t wait for the Nashville show. Oh wait.

Was not prepared for Kroger to be blaring Tori Amos's "Cornflake Girl" on a Sunday afternoon. Also unclear if this is a victory for Gen X or our most devastating loss to date.

Ok I don’t really know how to care about basketball but this is pretty nuts

Why are both my hockey teams tease me with the potential of actual playoff games for the first time in years then suddenly just give up? 😔

It is March and I’m already sweating my ass off. I am begging you, rest of humanity, to stop booking outdoor shows in the summer. It’s going to be miserable.

Awful news in 2026 just keeps coming

Seven-word death punch

Tonight is not going to suck

Not sure how the GOP has a young Nazi problem when all of its older leaders are also Nazis

RFK Jr took off his jeans after a workout

Just another day in this joke of a country

Materializing nude from a bolt of lightning in 2005 to show my younger self this image

30 years ago tonight:

[to the tune of Daytripper] He was a wooooooke ginger

This is somehow still less cringey than 90% of the ads labels used to run in billboard

Doing this in the American suburbs could probably fund the entire war

“Armageddon” but instead of blowing it up we send Bruce Willis to pilot it directly into Mar-a-Lago

Time to dive into my European airport impulse haul

The 3 genders

I know there are bigger consequences than this, but…stop booking tours at outdoor venues FFS. Especially here.

French Revolution when

I mean I guess worth noting that despite unlimited military budget we haven't won a war in 80 years

You guys I finally got to see the place where Oasis recorded “Be Here Now” 😍

Trying to mentally psych myself up for an 8 hour redeye flight in economy. Planes are the only time I really hate being semi-tall.

the fifa peace prize used to mean something

what was linkedin for

I don’t care that Kash Patel went to the Olympics but I do care that he’s such a fucking dork.

What losers actually let him in?

The Gen X urge to reach down Between my legs Ease the seat back

Also trying to go to a show that doesn’t start till 11. Pray for me.