They briefly opened a Nazi gym in my neighborhood that had all the hallmarks of Pete Hegseth’s “warfighter” ethos. It closed pretty quickly and moved to an area more accepting of the Nazi lifestyle. Probably not far from Hegseth’s Goodlettsville home.

“We want a fighting force that is the most homoerotically charged in history, and that includes those absolute beef snacks in the movie 300.”

Wonder why Pete Hegseth doesn’t display his medals on his uniform to show how he’s earned his bonafides on the field of combat?

pete hegseth, who you will recall has been accused of domestic abuse and sexual assault, has announced a new policy by which you cannot file anonymous complaints of mistreatment. sex criminal solidarity.

“We want a fighting force that is the most homoerotically charged in history, and that includes those absolute beef snacks in the movie 300.”

Yes.

isn't the whole point of copyright that you are opting out of people stealing your work

Oh shit, I hope Central Barbecue has enough food.

When they say “it’s in the game” they mean using the N-word in chat.

I think the Trump admin assumed no one would try to find out who the people on the boats they blew up really were

Wait until he tries to set 100% tariffs on books written overseas.

One Battle After Another was the closest thing I’ve felt to Fury Road since Fury Road. Two completely different movies, and yet.

To be fair, this is the same argument they use when people say Donald Trump rapes women and children.

The ghost of Red Adair would like a word…

Weird way to say you sleep in a coffin at night, but okay.

Weird way to say you sleep in a coffin at night, but okay.

Was Cosby unavailable?

I don’t see why JD Vance gets to be the only person who can call Trump “America’s Hitler.” We should *all* call Trump America’s Hitler.

Full Force made a lot of hits for Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam back in the day. Never really associated them with the whole Portland thing, but you know, it could be surprising.

I can’t remember—was the never-appearing school nemesis in “The Facts of Life” called The Grundle?

I’ve seen some shit, man. The line at patsys is out of control. I smelled weed

Those are crusader tattoos? I was told those were the symbols pedophiles use to recognize each other in public.

Don’t give Trump any fucking ideas.

Dave Matthews has the opportunity to do the funniest thing.

Normally when something this bad happens a company has to pay for a full year of worthless identity protection.

I thought “mass layoffs” was the entire goal of the Trump administration. Anyway, republicans control both houses of congress so getting funding should be no problem whatsoever.

“He’s a sexual matador, in that he keeps attempting to be impaled by livestock”

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

Huh. www.snopes.com/fact-check/a...

"He's a sexual matador, in that he can only perform when his partner's balls are tied with a rope."

"He's a sexual matador, in that he flits around on his tiptoes in brightly-colored elaborate clothing avoiding penetration."

“He’s a sexual matador, in that he keeps attempting to be impaled by livestock”

Oh look, this greasy little twerp is now in charge of the chatbots that will turn Facebook users into Nazis.

Okay, it’s 9:30 on September 23, so it’s time for Rapture: ::deep breath:: Fab Five Freddie told me everybody's fly DJ's spinnin' are savin' my mind Flash is fast, flash is cool Francois sais pas, flashe' no do And you don't stop, sure shot Go out to the parking lot And you get in your car and

i got raptured. it’s going ok. they’re calling the robes gay.

In Nashville Sinclair owns the Fox affiliate, so no amount of shakedown to pay for the Hitler youth is gonna make a difference.

They have both acetaminophen and autism in Cuba, although that correlation doesn’t mean one causes the other. The reason Trump doesn’t know if it’s true or not is because he’s a fucking idiot.

The fun thing is that SCOTUS has said that the makers of Tylenol can’t sue Trump for whatever the fuck that was, but he can sue them for saying he’s lost his mind and is unfit to be president.

When you say “the generals won’t go along with Trump’s authoritarian takeover of the US and efforts to remain in power after 2028” let me remind you that so far the chain of command has no problem with obvious war crimes.

The rapture happened in 1978 and nobody made the cut.

Charlie Kirk Sept 27 2024: "Just so we're clear, the Haitians that are in Huntsville that are raping your women and hunting you down at night - it's only gonna get worse - unless Donald Trump wins There will be hundreds of thousands of Haitians brought into Alabama and they will become your masters"

I just wanna see Colbert on Game Changer

Based on the number of unhinged Trump supporters showing up in my algorithm even before he takes over, once Trump is in control of TikTok I’m gonna have to leave it like I did with Twitter and Facebook.

Remember when Donald Trump would bring in underage girls under the H1B visa program as “models” and then not pay them? You probably don’t, but someone should ask him about it. onlabor.org/is-trumps-mo...

Hmmmm. I wonder if Trump has to sign this bill for it to become law, in which case Trump could stop the tariffs immediately, since they were enacted illegally without congressional approval. It’s a real conundrum.

Well at least with this republicans can give up the pretense that they follow the teachings of Jesus.

With every iteration of smart wearables and screen technology we get closer to their ultimate form factor: Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses.

The softest warfighters ever.

The states of the former confederacy are also going to form their own health alliance where they give each other intestinal parasites.

If Kimmel has said something offensive and rude it would show up in the ratings or advertiser boycotts. Not censorship by the government.