I know I keep banging on about this, but it's important: what they dislike about the EU's Freedom of Movement principle isn't the existence of migrant workers, but the existence of migrant workers WHO HAVE RIGHTS.

This is Eeyore. He led a sheriff's deputy to his grandma after she fell during their walk. We are awarding him the incredibly rare 15/10 (FB: OkaloosaSheriff)

No Country for Old Cows (2007)

And WHY exactly is this a problem Mr Jenrick. What is it about these British people that looked a bit different from you, exactly?

A source within MI6 has revealed that MI6 are unhappy with the Palestine Action ban because they are not terrorists and the drain on staff is making the UK more vulnerable to actual terrorist attacks. End the ridiculous ban.

I mean, "let's build this new order" is not exactly coded language, is it. The guy is sharing his political influences pretty directly.

The only thing stopping Jenrick mentioning rivers of blood is that you wouldn’t see the blood for all the shit in them.

I mean, to be fair, I CAN imagine Pratchett putting Kemi in a book. But I’m not sure she’d like it…

In a fucking bad mood this morning. My social media is awash with the supposed scandal that they want to build one of the govts ‘new towns’ up the road. And of course everyone, including the local Labour MP is up in arms. Lets consider it…

I just saw someone use the abbreviation “AI;DR” and I’ll be laughing for a while.

You think you’re prepared for toddler questions and arguments until you’re confronted by their complete lack of… not even logic, but reality? Trying to patiently negotiate your way through a tantrum about why their bedroom doesn’t have a roof (it does, in fact, have a roof).

This diagram does have a point. Cats and inkjet printers DO have a lot in common. #cats #cat #fun #funny #humor #lol #meme

💖Saturday 12pm I’m doing a great big gig at Union Chapel and if you want to join in,wherever you are, YOU CAN GET TICKETS FOR THE LIVESTREAM HERE www.waterstones.com/events/onlin... It’s going to be an hour long show drawing the most ridiculous comic ever, together, with special guests on stage too!

Britian for the Britiash!!!

Everyday Beauty

I would never have had the CBI down as the organisation to save us from climate disaster.

Surely the government must wake up and see how ridiculous they look.

This is hilarious

"Pssst." "Shhh!" "Whatcha doing?" "Waiting." "For what?" "A cheetah." "I hear those are beautiful." "They sure are, fast too, now hush." "Can I wait with you?" "Only if you're quiet."

Utterly smitten by these paper maché sculptures of creatures from Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights, rendered by Mexican American artist Roberto Benavidez observer.co.uk/culture/art/...

A brief thread on how the internet is making people insane… Two days ago whilst walking the dog I found a fiver in the park. Someone else had noticed it had fallen from the back pocket of a teen on a bike. He was long gone so what to do…

This is lovely.

Police don’t need greater powers The question for the HS to answer is why are so many people so upset they feel the need to become involved in the protests Are they all in the wrong?

Dark times. If they’re saying this, it’s because they think enough people will agree.

Nest is empty. Somewhat bereft. Might have to go get breakfast somewhere.

I got on my soapbox to talk about the serious business of funny books: www.scholastic.co.uk/blog/The-Ser...

Last minute offer. Car has just gone kaput heading to Manchester to see the Beta Band at the Apollo.Back home safely now. Anyway I’ve got 2 tickets if anyone wants them. Think I can just directly transfer them from the o2academy app. Rather someone got to use them.

This is sickening. 😡

Gails can sod off when I can get this four doors down. The world is crap yes, but I can get proper French pastry in a provincial English town. As such we should possibly continue to fight for civilisation

Text-based social media sites are all big crab buckets and generally as CEO the options are keep us as pets or sell us at the market. Climbing into the bucket accomplishes neither.

In honor of National Poetry Day, the greatest parody rewrite of all time:

How indeed?

Cocaine. Just say quo. #totp

Seriously - she can fuck all the way off

Still think Neil Finn is underrated #totp

"We should totally start a podcast" #TOTP

We've all done it, eh? www.worldofmoose.com/products/thr...

She has to wear that hat as even in the studio she’ll sunburn if she takes it off. #totp

It’s like Kate Bush crossed with a foghorn crossed with a fraggle. #totp

The Creatures are fucking ace #totp

Those outfits are genuinely horrific. #totp

1998 was shit. The 80s say ‘hold my beer’ #totp

Does ANYONE not fancy Shirley Manson? #totp

Brave to highlight what a fundamentally dull song this is. #totp

Do all acts end up sounding like a bad impression of themselves? #totp

They look like they’re all taking a piss behind the piano #totp

I did once see an advertised tribute act in Tenerife called 'hawk-eyed blueberry' #TOTP